Platoon of the Dead (2009 Video) User Reviews

Like some kids who discovered daddies video camera

[radubuzoianu · 1/10 · 22 June 2009]

It's 1 from awful because it can't go worst. This movie is a combination of: worst script, worst acting , worst effects and worst image EVER.

Please let me know if there is a movie worst than this one. I will be amazed if this movie makes it higher then 2.

I am sorry for the crew, but I guess they missed their career. TOTALLY I can say that for 5 minutes I was shocked, couldn't believe my eyes. I've seen better movies made by half-brained bored lamers on you tube. Please, anyone, try to add some good comment on this one because I hardly managed to type "good" here.

Just Don't Do It

[klsmith31 · 1/10 · 30 July 2009]

This is by far one of the worst "horror" films you will ever watch guaranteed. You know how there are those movies that you know are going to be bad, but you watch it anyway and think "well, that wasn't so bad".... this isn't that movie, trust me. The acting, script, directing, production, and dare I say "special effects" were deplorable and embarrassing. While the plot was interesting, the movie itself was a big let down. The script itself was probably the movies major downfall, that and the fact there was NO climax at any point of the movie. I will never get this wasted time in my life back. Just don't do it, walk away from this one...just walk away.

Platoon of the Dead: Amateur hour

[Platypuschow · 3/10 · 18 August 2018]

Platoon of the Dead at time of writing presently has an astonishingly low 1.8 rating. If it had more ratings it would be finding itself in the IMDB bottom 100 movies, but it's obscurity is saving it from that fate.

It tells the story of three soldiers who seek refuge in a house hiding from an undead army.

Zombies? Yes, but not traditional. These can speak, melt, use weapons and are just seven shades of terrible really.

The film is incredibly poorly made, from the uniforms to the embarassing laser guns, the sound effects and everything inbetween. For the most part it was a chore to watch.

The cast are an odd bunch, bad put bareable and a host of weird lookalikes. One guy is the spitting image of Henry Rollins, a girl who looks just like Jennifer Tilly and the lead soldier resembles Korns Jonathan Davis.

It has sprinklings of entertainment and I don't believe it deserves the terrible rating. Make no mistake though this is still pretty dire and a demonstration of what not to do when making a movie.

The Good:

Ariauna Albright

The Bad:

Those guns, really!?

Dumb sound effects

Some atrocious acting

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

Holding mobile phones upside down is standard military procedure

I was just waiting for the lead soldier to start singing Freak on a Leash

Definitely one of the worst movies I've ever seen

[popeurbanv · 1/10 · 19 December 2009]

From the low quality camera work, hammy acting, ridiculous props, awful script, ludicrously bad effects, and stupid plot, you might think, "Man, this is a terrible movie." But no, what makes this movie so bad is much, much more than this. What really makes this movie so unbearable is the fact the film makers know that they suck, and revel in it. They make a mockery of the war movie genre, the zombie genre (both of which I am a huge fan of), and a mockery of amateur film makers. The only bright spots of the movie are the end, and some of the lines in the script that actually show the makers put some effort into writing the movie. However, even these well-written parts are lost on the actors, and in the end get delivered with the same derisive, poorly-timed, poorly-emoted effort as the rest of the film. All in all, a thoroughly terrible movie.

I'm stuck with one little p*ss-ant momma's boy.

[lastliberal · 1/10 · 14 March 2010]

OK, did they just pick up some uniforms at the Army-Navy store? Because "Private" Dillon (Tyler David) has a gold leaf on his BDUs!

I guess they got the guns at Toys R Us because that is what they looked like.

The Lieutenant (Chris Keown) is in bad need of a shave and a haircut. I mean, come on, shoulder length hair on a soldier!

The only actor with any resume in this film was Ariauna Albright. She is not particularly noteworthy, but did lead me to two new films of interest: Caged Lesbos A-Go-Go (with Lloyd Kaufman as President Obama), and Vaginal Holocaust (Rape, Revenge, Hicks, Vampires and a Man-Eating Vagina!) Can't wait for those!

War film buffs will find this ludicrous. Zombie buffs will find it boring.

A forgettable and not-so-funny bad movie

[BillyRayJohnson · 3/10 · 1 May 2010]

Platoon of the Dead is a super-low budget zombie movie, about a small group of three soldiers, led by an officer who looks like a squat Jack Sparrow, and including a jerk soldier who looks like Richard Dean Anderson combined with Christopher Lloyd. After surviving their squadron being attacked by zombies, they take refuge in an old house occupied by three women.

Overall, this movie was fairly dull and forgettable. It isn't inept enough in most categories to laugh at, but just inept enough to not be actually engaging. The monotonous line deliveries and a couple of laser battles were the funniest aspects.

The movie features digital visual effects, such as laser fire and disintegrating bodies. In camera special effects include zombies melting into caramel, and a guy impaled by a dull tree branch.

For reference, this movie is a slight step ahead of Zombie Night from a technical and artistic standpoint, however, Platoon of the Dead does not get as many unintentional laughs. One star for attempting to create a coherent story, one point for efforts in making the film, and one point for lasers.

Homemade el cheapo zombie romp from Tempe. Don't bother.

[capkronos · 2/10 · 12 September 2009]

I'm a huge zombie movie fan always on the lookout for some unexpected hidden gem. This is not one of those. In fact, it's awful! Set sometime in the near future, the world has apparently been overrun by zombies and there's some kind of war going on between humans (who use some kind of advanced laser gun that dissolves zombies) and an intelligent and evolved "platoon of the dead" zombie army (who use a special laser gun that stuns people). Since this is a low scale, no budget flick shot on a low grade digital camera, the "war" basically amounts to a couple of guys dressed in camouflage running around in the woods. The most zombies ever seen on-screen at a single time is about six and that's at the very end of the film, so no actual threat for humankind is ever adequately established.

Inept, cowardly young soldier Private Dillon (Tyler David), obnoxious, sadistic Sergeant Butler (Tom Stedham) and their level-headed superior Lt. Roberts (Chris Keown) are the only three survivors after their squad is ambushed by the zombie soldiers. The three end up at a remote country home and discover three women; Heather (Ariana Albright), mute Jill (Amanda Bounds) and slutty Stacy (Michelle Mahoney), are hiding out there. The ladies behave strangely and secretive, but allow the guys to spend the night in exchange for an escort to a military safe point the next morning. Despite the war angle, it amounts to little more than yet another substandard revisit to NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD territory but with the addition of some silly supernatural elements that don't come into play until the last 20 minutes. Usually a virus or scientific experiment gone awry gets the blame for zombie epidemics in these kind of movies, but here one of the characters claims it happened because of a OUIJA board (!?) Toward the end it's also revealed that someone is a demon and someone else is a savior the zombies want to protect and we quickly watch as something cheap and badly made becomes even worse by becoming something cheap, badly made and needlessly muddled.

The acting here is truly abysmal, even for the budget. Of the six main actors, only two of them are passable and one of those two is the mute girl. There seems to be an attempt at dry humored dialogue but none of the cast members are talented enough to deliver it for the desired effect. Not only is the acting and much of dialogue awful, but the film doesn't have nearly enough action (there's way too much talking), the characters do extremely idiotic things throughout (instead of locking a door they just let a zombie come inside and then scurry around the house looking for a hiding place!) and the presentation of the special effects (from the zombie designs to the laughable computer fx) is extremely weak. It's basically just an amateurish waste of time.

Don't waste your time

[MattJaa · 1/10 · 8 October 2009]

This movie is just about unwatchable! The acting is bad, the script is very bad, the effects are terrible. I could only get through half of it then I scanned through the rest and, sure enough, it didn't get any better. I'm a big horror fan, especially zombies, and I'm not particularly picky about what I watch in the genre. I felt that all of them had something fun, funny, scary or at least cool to offer...until I got to this movie. I thought it was funny and kind of campy at first, with how bad it was but its 'charm' quickly wore off and I was left with just great boredom. I don't like to leave off without saying something good though...nice scenery at least.

Hard to imagine what could save this movie

[no-mad · 1/10 · 27 June 2009]

Some movies can be saved by the judicious display of naked female breasts. This movie isn't one of them. This was an interesting idea poorly executed.

There are so many errors it's hard to know where to start, so I'll start at the beginning. The first person we see is a soldier sleeping in the woods. When he wakes we notice he's an unarmed combat engineer. He has a major's gold leaf on his collar. When he meets another soldier, he is addressed as "Private."

I understand no one's perfect, but why make such an idiotic mistake so early in the movie?

This major/private who seems to be afraid of his own shadow, has jump wings. Not all paratroopers are brainless brutes, but few of them are so wet-behind-the-ears they run from the enemy without taking their weapons.

This movie would have to improve significantly to compete with anything by Ed Wood.

The music was reasonably well done.

I have seen Worse.

[Mergetvs · 5/10 · 11 July 2009]

Alright. First off. This movie is called Platoon of the Dead, that should be a dead giveaway about it's quality. As Bad movies go, it is Obvious that it is intentionally bad, and in that, they get a 5.

You want bad that was trying to be good? Watch the 4th Crow movie. That movie enraged me.

This Movie make me laugh. Just because it is so terrible, but on purpose.

Mind you, You Have to Enjoy very bad movies to like this.

If you want another Terrible film Look for Death Factory.

This movie is Star wars compared to that, and hey they have the Blasters in this one. Woo, Jedi zombie slayers in cameo!

Just when I thought this was the worst movie I ever saw....

[reowens-569-820945 · 1/10 · 10 December 2009]

3 soldiers with what looked like kids toy guns are being chased by an army of gun toting zombies.... Superior Lt. Roberts (Chris Keown) was their leader, long hair, rotten teeth and all. Tough Sgt. Butler (Tom Stedham) who keeps getting beat up by slutty Stacy (Michelle Mahoney) who is really one of the bad guys (you can tell when bright lights come from her eyes and mouth and she has tattoos all over her face).

I think they were making up the script as they were going along. When I saw this movie I thought that it was the worst I had ever seen but then I saw Rise of the Scarecrows... But that's another story...

Guess I need 10 lines... Bad movies are fun to watch though...

Huge waste of time

[harisc-1 · 1/10 · 26 June 2009]

OK, I love zombie movies. I also don't understand how "movies" like this get their space on IMDb. I am sure i can have my family Christmas movies rated here as well (they are MUCH MORE entertaining than this). Honestly, I saw the first 10 minutes of this movie and it was a torture. OK, about the acting - DUH - at least pretend that you're faking some emotion when you see a guy dying. I would give that soldier an Oscar. Seriously. Why? Just because. It's a crazy world, anyway, so what the hell...I've never seen anything worse in history of movies, maybe that's why...Then the FX. After effects, quickly generated effects that don't even follow the camera movement properly. Lol...Guns are plastic toys shooting laser beams that are not even close to 197? Dr. Who's. And the, the MUSIC! I can't even describe that annoying, almost funny, trumpet-like sound that plays while they are marching through the zombie-infected forest. It is so '40's and it fits in there just like the funny bluegrass tune fits into the original '2nd house on the left'. (that is the only comparison, though - '2nd house on the left' was a good movie). I don't know what else to say. I am sorry that I wasted 4 minutes of my life writing this review.

Platoon of the Dull

[Humdinger69 · 3/10 · 17 November 2013]

OK, I will start with the good things about this movie, what little there are. Well, the story, while kind of a mess, was kind of interesting, the zombie platoon leaders looked pretty cool... trying to think of something else... um... there's some gut munching here and there... uh.... err..... yah, I think that's it.

Now the bad, I personally felt the movie's biggest crime was just being downright boring. There is not a single memorable thing about this movie. You watch it, it passes you by, and that's it. There really weren't enough zombies, just people standing and talking and arguing.

That's not to say there isn't a fair amount of stupid stuff as well. You could tell all of the weapons were toys. There's one scene where a character named Sargent Butler (Tom Stedham) tries to rape a female character but is caught, the other characters beat him up a little and ask him to apologize... yah, sorry but I don't think I would want him in the house anymore, and the scene where Sargent Butler starts shootin' up some zombies in the garage, was just a joke.

Also, if you're getting your guts munched by zombies, please try not to smile.

Let's face it, this is an SOV movie, nine times out of ten the special effects are going to be bad, so I wasn't really bothered by that.

Bottom line: A dull, bland, boring, stale, unmemorable, mundane, tiring, insipid, stupid, trite, lifeless (pun intended) zombie movie with nothing to offer (thank goodness for the thesaurus). If you are bored and looking for something to watch, you will find no relief watching this.

Unbelievably Bad

[psmcgladdery-11660 · 1/10 · 5 February 2020]

I am amazed that this was actually released on DVD. I could it online and genuinely thought it was a cobbled together project by a group of friends intended to try out some pirated editing software.

The script is terrible, only surpassed by the acting. The soundtrack is probably the best thing about the movie, and if I ever hear that again it will be too soon. The "soldiers" in the movie are dressed in army surplus stock (the only authentic thing in the whole production) but the fact that one of the three male soldiers has hair down to his backside further adds to the implausibility. The weapons they use are children's toy lazer pistols.

The special effects are few (thankfully) and very badly done where they bother. Most of the zombies are simply put in gas masks to avoid even having to use makeup.

This film is so bad it's not even good enough to be one of those films you watch just to marvel at how bad it is. It's almost bad enough to have been written and directed by Rian Johnson. This is over an hour of my life I will never get back. At least I didn't accidentally buy the thing on disc. Avoid like a woke remake.

So it's not saving Private Ryan...

[jonb-29 · 4/10 · 31 August 2009]

Sure this was a bad movie but it was watchable. The plot, despite being as thin as buttermilk to start with eventually curdled into an intriguing idea. And for that reason alone it was worth watching. With some development I could imagine a series of kick-dead-ass movies based on the premise. It's undeniable that it was all over the place in the acting, filming, score and direction but it was sort of like a twisted "Dog Soldiers" (maybe). The plastic guns and Star Wars type lasers didn't detract from the movie. The long-haired captain was interesting as were the others. Basically, think Ed Wood and you won't be far wrong, although in PotD the sets weren't cardboard.

"So it's not like in those old zombie movies?"

[lost-in-limbo · 1/10 · 22 August 2018]

Within the first couple of minutes, you know what you're going to get. A soldier is yelling on his radio, well that's what I first thought, until in frustration, he moves it away from the side of his head showing it to be an actual mobile phone. He had me fooled with the radio lingo. But the icing on the cake, the phone was upside down. *Head slap*. Yep, this was a sign for things to come. Actually thinking about it, maybe, that's how it's done in the future (in a zombie post-apocalypse), as we do get lasers. Nah, who am I kidding.

"PLATOON OF THE DEAD" is a penniless SOV enterprise with home movie production values, second-hand decors, somebody's raw meat, eyeliner and peanut butter. So any sense of any authenticity goes out the window. At times it can be enjoyable, in an undemanding frame of mind, in what feels like "EVIL DEAD" meets "NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD". That's premise-wise, not directorial execution.

A platoon is ambushed in the woods by a zombie platoon (with pasty looking make-up hiding behind gas masks), but a couple of ragtag soldiers managed to escape, where they hold up in a lodge along with its occupants. I just found once the action becomes stationary in one location, it tends to drag. Little happens, as everyone holds up in a house, simply chatting, or arguing and sometimes wrestling (which looks more like hugging). This only highlights the monotonous developments, poorly staged action (playing soldiers with toy guns smartly turned into lasers) and wooden performances.

A new standard of crap movies

[zombie-32 · 1/10 · 5 July 2015]

The only spoiler that I will give out is that this movie is so bad that it will make you sick.

This is by far one of the worst "horror" films you will ever watch guaranteed. You know how there are those movies that you know are going to be bad, but you watch it anyway and think "well, that wasn't so bad".... this isn't that movie, trust me. The acting, script, directing, production, and dare I say "special effects" were deplorable and embarrassing. While the plot was interesting, the movie itself was a big let down. The script itself was probably the movies major downfall, that and the fact there was NO climax at any point of the movie. I will never get this wasted time in my life back. Just don't do it, walk away from this one...Run for your very life.

Ummm, okay... squelchy disintegration ray wielding zombies

[monk-81907 · 2/10 · 22 February 2019]

So clearly this was a no budget affair.. with some bizarre plot choices. Eg shooting the zombies makes them disintegrate (after a few seconds to think about it). Oh wait, except for that one in the army uniform, which the sergeant had to chop up - go Team Stedham! (seriously, he has that on his tshirt) :) Why not, I guess... have some fun I say! Honestly, his performance was the most enjoyable part of this odd zombie outing.

I'd say watch this with tongue firmly in cheek and try to have fun with it - and for the love of all that's unholy, don't get all bent out of shape about the lack of continuity or accurate representations of the military etc. Just enjoy some of the hammy/earnest performances for what they are and hope that the actors and crew bad some fun making this.

Cheap beyond belief

[Leofwine_draca · 1/10 · 22 September 2017]

PLATOON OF THE DEAD is another rubbish zombie indie movie that foisted itself on the public mind in 2009. The story involves three soldiers on the run during the zombie apocalypse. You get some idea of the resources available to the filmmakers when you see said soldiers carrying toy pistols. They hide out at a farmhouse where they interact with an equally dull trio of women. The zombies are barely glimpsed here with the emphasis on a psychological drama of sorts, but it's all very shabby.

Don't waste your time...

[barniac68 · 1/10 · 23 February 2014]

I have loved zombie films for over 30 yrs but this p.o.s. took 5 sittings to get through. I've seen some bad ones over the years but this one takes the prize as the 'Worst Movie I Own' (& that's saying something for a collection that includes several Jess Franco films & 1986's Raiders Of The Living Dead). I kept hoping that it would become so bad as to become kind of funny...but no such luck (I should have realised how bad this film was gonna be when I found myself checking the running time remaining only 8 minutes in). There's no need for a Spoiler Alert - you'll want to forget this film while you're actually watching it, never mind later. Avoid like an open barrel of 245-Trioxin.