- Mary Shannon: [about Marci] C'mon, Stan. She thinks she's getting a fresh start with this asshole.
- Mary Shannon: I can't help that.
- Mary Shannon: What am I supposed to do? Smile to her face while I help him get laid?
- Marshall Mann: What exactly is your beef with humanity?
- Mary Shannon: I have no beef with humanity... it's people I can't stand.
- Mary Shannon: That's it, Vidonne. Marci just confessed and sold you out.
- Vidonne Gustonne: Is this the part where I'm supposed to break down and tell you everything?
- Mary Shannon: That'd be helpful.
- Vidonne Gustonne: You've been watching too much Law & Order.
- Detective Robert Dershowitz: Yeah, he has a point.
- Mary Shannon: [voice over] Funny how things like mortgage payments, and a desire to not eat cat food can get between a person and their principles. Damn I hate principles!
- Mary Shannon: [about artwork Margaret is donating for charity] It must be very difficult for you to part with them.
- Margaret Chapman: Not really. The proceeds go to charity. And besides, I've always thought of them as rather Pedestrian/Early-American crap.
- Mary Shannon: Oh! Thank God! Thought I was the only one.