She-Hulk: Attorney at Law (TV Series)

The People vs. Emil Blonsky (2022)

Josh Segarra: Augustus 'Pug' Pugliese

Quotes 

• Augustus 'Pug' Pugliese : How would you characterize Mr. Bukowski in relation to his romantic life?

  Jennifer Walters : Self-absorbed, chauvinistic, conceited. He once described himself as a New York 10 and an LA 11.

  [Runa chuckles] 

  Jennifer Walters : He nicknamed his office the Dennisphere...

  Dennis Bukowski : Objection. Relevance.

  Judge Price : Mr. Bukowski, need I remind you that you're not representing yourself here? And this is your witness. But I agree. Mr. Pugliese, get to your point.

  Augustus 'Pug' Pugliese : It's been stated many times in this courtroom that a man of reasonable intelligence would never think that he was dating the real Megan Thee Stallion. In your opinion, Ms. Walters, do you think that Dennis Bukowski would believe that he could actually pull Megan Thee Stallion?

  Jennifer Walters : Yes. Dennis Bukowski is an almost pathologically entitled man. He would absolutely believe that he's dating the real Megan Thee Stallion because he is truly that delusional.

  Augustus 'Pug' Pugliese : No further questions, Your Honor.

• Augustus 'Pug' Pugliese : Good God. Dennis Bukowski.

  Nikki Ramos : [slides Pug her drink]  Yeah. No, you're gonna need that.

  Jennifer Walters : [leans into the shot; looks at camera]  Connecting the A and B story. Nice.

  [leans back off-camera] 

  Augustus 'Pug' Pugliese : How did you two work with him for so long?

  Nikki Ramos : Oh, I kill him in my head several times, in many different ways.

  Jennifer Walters : And yet he was convinced that she had a crush on him. The man is almost terminally deluded.

  Nikki Ramos : I'd call him gross.

  Jennifer Walters : Yeah. Just gross.

  Augustus 'Pug' Pugliese : Hey, would you be willing to say that under oath?

• Holden Holliway : Well, our friend, Mr. Bukowski from the DA's office, needs help on a delicate matter. He's been defrauded by an ex-girlfriend and wants to file a suit against her to get his money back.

  Dennis Bukowski : Yeah. I bought her jewelry, flew her to Bali for a shoot, paid off her Volkswagen Passat. Subscribed to...

  Augustus 'Pug' Pugliese : But why the Superhuman Law Division?

  Holden Holliway : The girlfriend in question is a shapeshifting Light Elf from New Asgard.

  She-Hulk : Wow, Dennis.

  Dennis Bukowski : Okay. Well, to be fair, I thought I was dating Megan Thee Stallion.

  She-Hulk : I'm sorry. What? Sorry. You thought you were dating Megan Thee Stallion? Multiple Grammy award-winner megastar Megan Thee Stallion?

  Dennis Bukowski : What part of shapeshifter did you not get?

  She-Hulk : [chuckles]  You thought she drove a Passat?

  Dennis Bukowski : This is why I don't want Walters.

  She-Hulk : [chuckles]  I'm so sorry.

• Augustus 'Pug' Pugliese : Did he ever share his personal life with you? Specifically, his dating life.

  Jennifer Walters : Yes, he would, prolifically and unprompted.

  Dennis Bukowski : [mutters]  You wanted to know.

• Dennis Bukowski : You guys think I have a shot with the real Megan Thee Stallion? Should I go back?

  Augustus 'Pug' Pugliese : No. No. Please, don't do that.