Photos
Quotes
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Shawn Spencer : Who needs forty-eight thousand dollars to live?
Burton 'Gus' Guster : I *need* thirty-two. The other sixteen generally goes to you.
Shawn Spencer : Don't be ridiculous.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : I claimed you on my taxes, Shawn!
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Shawn Spencer : [to Hadewych] I'm Shawn Spencer. It's me... and my partner, Lemongrass Gogolobe.
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Burton 'Gus' Guster : What the hell are you doing here?
Shawn Spencer : I should ask you the same question.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : I work here!
Shawn Spencer : Okay, I should ask you a different question.
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Paul Habershire : What's your game?
Shawn Spencer : I have two games: Red Rover and lawn darts. Unfortunately, it takes four for even the most rudimentary game of Rover and they don't make lawn dart anymore, too dangerous, but that's not why I'm here.
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Shawn Spencer : I'm a psychic. I can't lie.
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[in 1995 after Henry has arrested him]
Shawn Spencer : I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask for that "World's Greatest Dad" mug back.
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[in 1995 after Henry opens the door to the stolen car Shawn and his girlfriend are in]
Shawn Spencer : Whoops.
Henry Spencer : Whoops?
Shawn's Girlfriend : It's my neighbor's car. We were gonna put it back. It was just a dare.
Shawn Spencer : Is there a problem here, officer?
Henry Spencer : You wanted my attention, Shawn. You got it, buddy.
Shawn's Girlfriend : Wait. You guys know each other?
Henry Spencer : Yeah, he's sorta my dad.
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Burton 'Gus' Guster : [about Ogletree] He's the new regional sales manager, my immediate boss, and a tyrant. They call him the Little Pinochet.
Shawn Spencer : That's too abstract. Why don't they just call him Jerk Pants or Suck McJones?
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[Shawn and Gus are startled by Haversham's barking dog]
Shawn Spencer : That dog is kind of an A-hole.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : It sees something.
Shawn Spencer : Yeah, urine stains on my pants.
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Shawn Spencer : [sizing up Henry] The aftershave. The pumiced scalp. The suit.
Henry Spencer : I can wear a suit!
Shawn Spencer : Which one of the Three Tenors did you borrow it from? Not the dead one, I hope.
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Burton 'Gus' Guster : How did you get inside the house?
Shawn Spencer : Hadewych, housekeeper. She was leaving, so she let me in. Tiny little dollop of a woman. Dutch-Indonesian. Enormous forearms. She made me a pannekoek. It's like a pancake, but it is the size of a manhole cover.
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Burton 'Gus' Guster : Mr. Haversham, we got here early.
Shawn Spencer : Hadewych let us in. We love her, and we'd like one of our own.