Psych (TV Series)

Lights, Camera... Homicidio (2008)

Timothy Omundson: Carlton Lassiter

Quotes 

• Carlton Lassiter : [about Shawn and Gus]  I demand you remove *these* men from this room.

  Nurse : Honey, the only people actually authorized to be in here are Mr. Spencer and Mr. Guster. They're on Mr. Gama-Lobo's friends and family list. Everyone else, out!

  Carlton Lassiter : [to Shawn]  You just met him a week ago!

  Shawn Spencer : His whole family is back in Mexico. His older brother misses him very much.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : His sister.

  Shawn Spencer : Right.

  Juliet O'Hara : [to Lassiter, as they leave]  How does he make friends so fast?

• Carlton Lassiter : [realizing he's arresting someone on live TV]  Hola, me llama Inspector Carlton Lassiter. Me gusta queso.

  Juliet O'Hara : Really? That's what you choose to say?

• Carlton Lassiter : Lance Rothstein, you're under arrest for the murder of Reynaldo Nunez.

  [Lance looks at Shawn] 

  Shawn Spencer : Don't worry, I can get you off on that one.

  Carlton Lassiter : And the attempted murder of Jorge Gama-Lobo.

  [Lance looks at Shawn again] 

  Shawn Spencer : Ooh... I don't know about *that* one.

• Kelly : [Continuing her confession/explanation]  When Ernesto cheated on her she was too weak to stand up for herself. I needed to help her. She was like my best friend.

  Quintessa Gabriel : I barely spoke to her.

  Shawn Spencer : [Normal accent]  Really?

  [Spanish accent] 

  Shawn Spencer : So it was you who replaced the retractable prop knife with the real one!

  Kelly : And he deserved it!

  Shawn Spencer : [Spanish accent]  And it was also you who poisoned poor Vincente after it was written that he betrayed Corrin!

  Quintessa Gabriel : But how?

  Shawn Spencer : [Spanish accent]  With a meatball.

  Jorge : [Flashback to earlier conversation]  Usually I hunger for her meatballs the way a jackal salivates for an injured opossum.

  Quintessa Gabriel : But he wrote the suicide note!

  Shawn Spencer : [Spanish accent]  No, he didn't! You should have a degree in being wrong all the time! And she almost got away with it, if it was not for the hairs!

  Quintessa Gabriel : Hairs?

  Shawn Spencer : [Spanish accent]  Yes, the hairs from the cheap imitation wig that you put on to emulate Corrin when you committed these murders!

  Kelly : Yes, I did it! And now it's your turn to die!

  Shawn Spencer : [Normal accent]  Say what?

  Kelly : For sleeping with Serena when all Corrin did was love you!

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : She's right about that.

  [Kelly grabs the nail gun from Quintessa, shoots at Shawn] 

  Shawn Spencer : Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

  [Lassiter and O'Hara grab the gun from Kelly and cuff her, then realize they're live on TV] 

  Carlton Lassiter : Uh... hola! Me llamo... Inspector Carleton Lassiter. Me gusta queso.

  Juliet O'Hara : Really, that's what you choose to say?

  Carlton Lassiter : Well, I only took two years in junior high...

  [They escort Kelly off the set]