Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist (TV Series)

Ball and Chain (1999)

Kevin Meaney: Kevin

Quotes 

• Dr. Katz : Let's talk about your childhood.

  Kevin Meaney : My parents would always have company come over, ya know.

  Dr. Katz : Mm-hmm.

  Kevin Meaney : "Mr. Richter's coming over." I'd always hear that one.

  Dr. Katz : Right.

  Kevin Meaney : "Mr. Richter's coming over and he just got back from Sweden and he had a sex change operation. I don't want any of you kids to say anything about him being a woman! You've got something to say, you just tell him how pretty he looks." Peterkins were always coming over too.

  Dr. Katz : Mm-hmm.

  Kevin Meaney : Oh, I hated the Peterkins. They didn't have any kids, so they'd come over and look at US. My mother was always tellin' us, too, that Mrs. Peterkin was sick. "She's sick. Are ya HAPPY? She's sick!" "What's wrong with her?" "She's got thyroid. So don't be mentioning the G.D. thyroid when she gets here." We didn't know what thyroid was! Next thing we knew, Peterkin shows up and she's got these big eyes from outer space.

  Dr. Katz : Right.

  Kevin Meaney : Sittin' around the dinner table, she's lookin' at us, we're lookin' at her, nobody's blinkin'.

  Dr. Katz : Right.

  Kevin Meaney : Aunt Rose, she wouldn't make it any easier on us, either. "I hear old bug-eye Peterkin's comin' over tonight. Hey kids, look what I got:

  [holding light bulbs in front of her eyes] 

  Kevin Meaney : Bug-eye Peterkin's eyes! Last night, they finally blew!"