- Skipper: It's too horrible for words. Except these ones, the words I'm saying right now. These are fine. But anything else, no go!
- Maurice: [as they put Mort inside Rico to defuse the bomb] The birds have gone carnivore!
- King Julien: Quick, we must flee! Maurice, distract them by being eaten!
- King Julien: Winner gets the loser's car.
- Private: Why would you want two cars?
- King Julien: One for commuting, one for weekend errands around town.
- Skipper: Better stock up on subway tokens. We race tonight at 12 o'clock!
- King Julien: Make it... midnight! Wait, wait. When's my pedicure?
- Maurice: Midnight.
- King Julien: Can we make it 12:15? Does 12:15 work for you?
- [Kowalski looks at his board and nods to Skipper]
- Skipper: Fine. 12:15.
- Kowalski: Okay, do you see the bomb?
- Mort: Um, I see and old squeaky toy. Wait, I see it! I see the bomb!
- Kowalski: Good. Now separate the blue and yellow wires from their sheating, reverse the polarity, and splice both to the ground lead, which should be a slightly thicker copper wire. Am I going too fast for you?
- Mort: Um, okay. Which of the colors is blue?
- [the penguins sigh exasperatedly]
- Mort: Is this the blue one?
- [Rico shrieks]
- Kowalski: No, I believe that's a kidney.
- Kowalski: Are you challenging us to a race?
- King Julien: Am I? Yes! You understand what I am doing before I am even doing it!
- Skipper: Are you ready to have your lunch handed to you?
- King Julien: Why, yes, that would be nice. I would like a BLT, hold the T, and... Oh, this is some of your trashy talk, is it? Well, I too can talk of the smack!
- Skipper: Dynomite! The classic timebomb bundle with LED countdown delay. Maximum explodability matched with maximum getawayability. Rico, you're a mad genius. That robo zoo guide goes sayonara in half an hour... high noon!
- King Julien: So, did that sticky them up? Tell me yes.
- Maurice: Um, okay. Yes.
- King Julien: Yes! Wait. Maurice, are you just telling me what I want to hear?
- Maurice: Yes.
- King Julien: Yes! Wait... no!
- Skipper: Whistling. Awfully cheery for someone pushing a suspicuously human-shaped sack. Wouldn't you say?
- Private: I don't know, Skipper. Sometimes a good whistle makes me feel like a pretty little butterfly.
- [Rico starts to retch]
- Skipper: Can the sweet talk, Private. You know Rico has gooey love mush sensitivity.
- King Julien: Oh, metal wiseman. Show me who is the smartest of all creatures?
- [Robot points right; Julien quickly moves to where he's pointing]
- King Julien: That is right! Yes, me.
- Mort: Oh, make the shiny man do magic again!
- King Julien: Now show me who has the most attractive bottom?
- [Robot points left; Julien moves his butt to where he's pointing]
- King Julien: Amazing! How does it know?
- Skipper: So that's their game. Blowing us up one by one with unregurgitatable gut bombs. Horrified, yet impressed.
- Kowalski: It's so obvious. I should have seen it coming. I'm sorry, Rico. I blame myself.
- Private: No Rico! No...
- Skipper: Not Rico! Not anybody! Kowalski, status report.
- Kowalski: 22 minutes, 46 seconds.
- Skipper: Then we've got 22 minutes and 45 seconds to get that bomb out of our buddy's belly. Rico, my friend, we are gonna teach you to spew again!
- Skipper: I smuggled this out of the souvenir gift shop.
- Kowalski: A nature documentary?
- Skipper: Wait for it.
- [Plays movie]
- Documentary Narrator: This is Antarctica. Icy home to the playful penguin.
- Private: Hey, that looks like uncle Nigel.
- [Roaring from documentary]
- Documentary Narrator: Now prey for the insatiable blood thirst of this leopard seal.
- Kowalski: Oh, that image will haunt me!
- Skipper: It's just a boring... documentary.
- Documentary Narrator: Betcha can't eat just one, Mr. Seal.
- [Private, Skipper, and Kowalski throw up into bags]
- Skipper: Well, Rico, looks like it's game over. I never thought it would end this way, but I just want you to know... I love you, you crazy knucklehead.
- Kowalski: I also love you, in the same way expressed previously... dude.
- Private: [Hugging Rico] I love you too, Rico!
- [Rico starts to retch]
- Mort: [Inside Rico] And I love this popcorn. It's a little wet, though.
- [Rico's stomach rumbles]
- King Julien: Eh, what is that noise?
- Skipper: [breaking down] I'm not good with words - well, actually, neither are you - but I just wanna say... you are my brother!
- Kowalski: That's poetry, Skipper.
- King Julien: I don't know about him, but this mush is making me want to blow chunks.
- Skipper: Do you mind?
- Private: Wherever the sun lays its head, there the land will whisper, "Rico. Rico."
- Kowalski: [breaking down] Okay, now that's poetry!
- [They all cry and hug each other; Julien joins in; they all glare at him]
- King Julien: I just want to see a penguin throw up.
- Skipper: Take a look at our future, men. Phase Two: robot animals.
- Kowalski: It's a classic cost-cutting manuever. Replacement and elimination.
- Skipper: But there's...
- [Counts to himself]
- Skipper: ...*four* things they didn't count on. The war on robots begins...
- [pause]
- Kowalski: Uh, Skip...
- [Skipper signals to wait]
- Skipper: ...now!
- King Julien: [after the robot blows up] He was the only one who truly appreciated my bottom.
- [One of the robot's arms land behind Julien, pointing at his butt]
- King Julien: Hey! He's still loving my booty!
- King Julien: Who is burping up the stinking fog of lint, and spit, and unspeakable things from a kitten, and... Oof! I don't even want to know what that fart was.
- Mort: Ooh, it smells like the circus!
- [the penguins take Mort]
- Mort: Am I going to the circus too?
- [They shove Mort down Rico's throat]
- Mort: Why is the circus so dark and smelly? Hey, there's popcorn down here. Hooray!
- Kowalski: Course is ready to roll, Skipper.
- [One of the cones starts to move]
- Skipper: What the deuce?
- Kowalski: Oh, for pity's sake! If the cones are going to move by themselves, why do I measure?
- [They remove the cone; Marlene was underneath]
- Marlene: Hi, guys!
- Skipper: Marlene! Who was on cone stowaway duty?
- [Kowalski, Private and Rico point at each other]
- King Julien: It is the most handsomest thing I have ever seen... except for me, which goes without saying, but I said it anyway. Why? I don't know!
- Kowalski: Course is ready to roll, Skipper.
- [One of the cones starts to move]
- Skipper: What the...?
- Kowalski: Oh, for pity's sake! If the cones are going to move by themselves, why do I measure?
- [They remove the cone; Marlene was underneath]
- Marlene: Hi, guys!
- Skipper: Marlene! Who was on cone stowaway duty?
- [Kowalski, Private and Rico point at each other]