The Penguins of Madagascar (TV Series)

Little Zoo Coupe/All Choked Up (2009)

Tom McGrath: Skipper

Photos 

Quotes 

• Skipper : It's too horrible for words. Except these ones, the words I'm saying right now. These are fine. But anything else, no go!

• Kowalski : That bomb is not coming out. We could send a man inside to defuse it if we were about yea tall.

  Skipper : And how close are we from shrink ray technology?

  Kowalski : 700 years.

  Skipper : [tosses aside a device next to him]  Curse you, shrink ray!

  Kowalski : Make that 712.

• King Julien : Winner gets the loser's car.

  Private : Why would you want two cars?

  King Julien : One for commuting, one for weekend errands around town.

  Skipper : Better stock up on subway tokens. We race tonight at 12 o'clock!

  King Julien : Make it... midnight! Wait, wait. When's my pedicure?

  Maurice : Midnight.

  King Julien : Can we make it 12:15? Does 12:15 work for you?

  [Kowalski looks at his board and nods to Skipper] 

  Skipper : Fine. 12:15.

• Skipper : Officially, you have no idea what we're doing here.

  Marlene : Uh-huh. Unofficially too.

• Skipper : Look alive, men. I've got my freak on for recon.

• Skipper : Not to worry, men. There's more than one way to make a penguin puke his guts out.

  Private : How many...?

  Skipper : Seventeen. Just don't ever ask to see number twelve.

• Kowalski : Cool cars go faster. That's a scientific fact.

  Skipper : Gentlemen, our car is officially boss.

• Skipper : Our car's not babyish!

  Kowalski : It is strategically... adorable.

• Skipper : That dame is a riddle wrapped in mystery and dunked in nasty sauce.

• Skipper : Are you ready to have your lunch handed to you?

  King Julien : Why, yes, that would be nice. I would like a BLT, hold the T, and... Oh, this is some of your trashy talk, is it? Well, I too can talk of the smack!

• Skipper : Dynomite! The classic timebomb bundle with LED countdown delay. Maximum explodability matched with maximum getawayability. Rico, you're a mad genius. That robo zoo guide goes sayonara in half an hour... high noon!

• Skipper : Well, Rico, I'm sorry it has to come to this, but I had Kowalski whip up a little concoction I like to call... Number Twelve!

  Kowalski : Two scoops of squirrel lint, a dash of baboon spit, used kitty litter, one hippo toenail, and anything we could find in the monkey cages. Whoa, mama!

• Skipper : Whistling. Awfully cheery for someone pushing a suspicuously human-shaped sack. Wouldn't you say?

  Private : I don't know, Skipper. Sometimes a good whistle makes me feel like a pretty little butterfly.

  [Rico starts to retch] 

  Skipper : Can the sweet talk, Private. You know Rico has gooey love mush sensitivity.

• Kowalski : Looks like she's burying the evidence, Skipper... above ground, standing up, in the busiest crossroads of the zoo.

  Skipper : Putting her gruesome handiwork on display? How sick is this woman?

• Skipper : So that's their game. Blowing us up one by one with unregurgitatable gut bombs. Horrified, yet impressed.

  Kowalski : It's so obvious. I should have seen it coming. I'm sorry, Rico. I blame myself.

  Private : No Rico! No...

  Skipper : Not Rico! Not anybody! Kowalski, status report.

  Kowalski : 22 minutes, 46 seconds.

  Skipper : Then we've got 22 minutes and 45 seconds to get that bomb out of our buddy's belly. Rico, my friend, we are gonna teach you to spew again!

• Skipper : I smuggled this out of the souvenir gift shop.

  Kowalski : A nature documentary?

  Skipper : Wait for it.

  [Plays movie] 

  Documentary Narrator : This is Antarctica. Icy home to the playful penguin.

  Private : Hey, that looks like uncle Nigel.

  [Roaring from documentary] 

  Documentary Narrator : Now prey for the insatiable blood thirst of this leopard seal.

  Kowalski : Oh, that image will haunt me!

  Skipper : It's just a boring... documentary.

  Documentary Narrator : Betcha can't eat just one, Mr. Seal.

  [Private, Skipper, and Kowalski throw up into bags] 

• Skipper : Well, Rico, looks like it's game over. I never thought it would end this way, but I just want you to know... I love you, you crazy knucklehead.

  Kowalski : I also love you, in the same way expressed previously... dude.

  Private : [Hugging Rico]  I love you too, Rico!

  [Rico starts to retch] 

  Mort : [Inside Rico]  And I love this popcorn. It's a little wet, though.

  [Rico's stomach rumbles] 

  King Julien : Eh, what is that noise?

  Skipper : [breaking down]  I'm not good with words - well, actually, neither are you - but I just wanna say... you are my brother!

  Kowalski : That's poetry, Skipper.

  King Julien : I don't know about him, but this mush is making me want to blow chunks.

  Skipper : Do you mind?

  Private : Wherever the sun lays its head, there the land will whisper, "Rico. Rico."

  Kowalski : [breaking down]  Okay, now that's poetry!

  [They all cry and hug each other; Julien joins in; they all glare at him] 

  King Julien : I just want to see a penguin throw up.

• Skipper : Take a look at our future, men. Phase Two: robot animals.

  Kowalski : It's a classic cost-cutting manuever. Replacement and elimination.

  Skipper : But there's...

  [Counts to himself] 

  Skipper : ...*four* things they didn't count on. The war on robots begins...

  [pause] 

  Kowalski : Uh, Skip...

  [Skipper signals to wait] 

  Skipper : ...now!

• Kowalski : Course is ready to roll, Skipper.

  [One of the cones starts to move] 

  Skipper : What the deuce?

  Kowalski : Oh, for pity's sake! If the cones are going to move by themselves, why do I measure?

  [They remove the cone; Marlene was underneath] 

  Marlene : Hi, guys!

  Skipper : Marlene! Who was on cone stowaway duty?

  [Kowalski, Private and Rico point at each other] 

• Kowalski : Course is ready to roll, Skipper.

  [One of the cones starts to move] 

  Skipper : What the...?

  Kowalski : Oh, for pity's sake! If the cones are going to move by themselves, why do I measure?

  [They remove the cone; Marlene was underneath] 

  Marlene : Hi, guys!

  Skipper : Marlene! Who was on cone stowaway duty?

  [Kowalski, Private and Rico point at each other]