Psych (TV Series)

Gus's Dad May Have Killed an Old Guy (2007)

Timothy Omundson: Carlton Lassiter

Quotes 

• Shawn Spencer : Lassie!

  [Shawn gives Lassiter a "Psych" snowglobe] 

  Carlton Lassiter : [uneasily]  I... I hate snowglobes.

  Shawn Spencer : Well, that's funny. My psychic senses told me specifically that snowglobes *didn't* give you nightmares about being trapped in a clear ball with snow that burns your skin off.

• [Lassiter is making Christmas crafts with Juliet's young nephews] 

  Carlton Lassiter : All right, fellas, what do we got here? You know, Drake... technically, Jesus was born around April, so we need to get rid of this winter foliage. Oh, and Finn, the word "manger" actually refers to the wooden feeding trough that the animals used, so let's put baby Jesus in this little shot glass.

  Juliet O'Hara : Uh... Carlton?

  Carlton Lassiter : You know, based on how far they had to travel, all the experts agree that the Wise Men didn't really get there until Jesus was two, so let's get rid of them.

  Juliet O'Hara : Uh... uh, Carlton? Remember, this is for the *children*?

  Carlton Lassiter : Right. Let's do one with Santa in it. Hand me Kris Kringle there, guys.

  Juliet O'Hara : That's a great idea!

  Carlton Lassiter : You know, interestingly enough, the Dutch version of Santa used slaves to deliver the toys.

• Carlton Lassiter : Alright! Who keeps telling people I want snow globes for Christmas?

• Shawn Spencer : What I'm sensing here, ladies and gentlemen, is murder.

  Carlton Lassiter : Spencer, old people are always offing themselves over the holidays.

  McNab : Oh, according to CSU, Shawn might be right.

  Shawn Spencer : Colorado State University.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : Crime Scene Unit.

  Shawn Spencer : Them too.

• [playing video games with Juliet's young nephews] 

  Carlton Lassiter : You better change your name to Lassiter, because I OWN you!