How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)
Slapsgiving (2007)
Alyson Hannigan: Lily Aldrin
Photos
Quotes
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Marshall Eriksen : [Shows the slap countdown on the computer to Barney] Oh my, look at that! That means we're in the final hour of the countdown.
Barney Stinson : I'm not scared...
[his right cheek twitches]
Marshall Eriksen : Then why is your right cheek twitching?
Barney Stinson : It's not...
Marshall Eriksen : Maybe it's because future me slaps future you so hard, it reverberates back to the present, shattering the time-slap continuum.
Barney Stinson : [nervously] Please don't slap me...
Marshall Eriksen : I'm sorry, what?
Barney Stinson : Oh, god, don't slap me again! I don't want to get slapped again! The first two times hurt so bad. I don't like it! I don't like it one bit!
Marshall Eriksen : I thought I ruined it by putting a clock on it, Barney.
Barney Stinson : Well, you didn't ruin it!.You made it so much worse! I can't eat. I can't sleep. I've lost 10 pounds. My suits are wearing me. You know what? I'm outta here.
Marshall Eriksen : Well, no, no, no. You can't leave.
Barney Stinson : Why can't I? Nowhere in the rules does it say that I have to sit through this sort of mental torture! You are allowed to slap my face my good man, but you are not allowed to slap my mind! Good day!
Marshall Eriksen : But it's Slapsgiving.
Lily Aldrin : No! It's Thanksgiving! Our first one as a married couple, as grownups, and you're not trying to be a part of it! None of you are! So, as slap bet commissioner, I'm issuing a ruling. Thanksgiving is a day of peace, there will be no slaps today!
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Bob : This is rad. A nice, calm, simple Thanksgiving. I'm the youngest of ten in my family, so our Thanksgiving is a mess. All the yelling and the screaming...
Narrator : And then a funny thing happened.
Bob : It's really a major buzzkill.
Ted Mosby , Robin Scherbatsky : Major Buzzkill.
Lily Aldrin : Oh no...
Barney Stinson : I thought we were done with that!
Robin Scherbatsky : I guess we're not.
Ted Mosby : Guess we're not.
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Lily Aldrin : Thanksgiving is a time to get together, and none of you are taking it seriously! None of you! So, as slap bet commisioner, I institute a new law: at Thanksgiving there will be no slapping!
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Barney Stinson : [holding up a laptop] Check it out, we're in the last 20 seconds of Marshall's countdown to NOTHING.
Lily Aldrin : Barney, put it away.
Barney Stinson : How does it feel, Marshall, to sit there impotently. Your large flaccid hand just dangling in the wind?
Computer voice : The slap will occur in ten, nine, eight...
Barney Stinson : Ohh, classy touch, dude! Too BAD!
Lily Aldrin : Barney put it away!
Barney Stinson : I will in. Five, four...
Lily Aldrin : [to Marshall] You can slap him.
Barney Stinson : What? Wait!
Marshall Eriksen : Yes!
[slaps Barney hard]
Marshall Eriksen : THAT'S THREE!
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Marshall Eriksen : This looks like it's going to be a major clean-up.
Marshall Eriksen , Ted Mosby , Robin Scherbatsky , Barney Stinson , Lily Aldrin : [saluting] Major Cleanup.
Marshall Eriksen : Are we going to be doing this all the time?
Robin Scherbatsky : That's the general idea.
Marshall Eriksen , Ted Mosby , Robin Scherbatsky , Barney Stinson , Lily Aldrin : [saluting] General Idea.