The Mighty Boosh (TV Series)

Eels (2007)

Noel Fielding: Vince Noir, The Moon, The Hitcher, Tony Harrison

Quotes 

• Dennis : Would you be quiet, please. I can't hear my internal TomTom. We appear to be lost.

  Tony Harrison : Oh, you are useless!

  Dennis : Well, I'm more than happy to let someone else drive.

  Tony Harrison : I can't drive! I'm shitfaced!

  Saboo : Yeah, like if you were sober, you could drive anyway. You can't even reach the pedals, you cleft.

  Tony Harrison : How dare you. I've got a heavy goods license. There's no one here who's got more miles under their belt than me!

  Saboo : Look, save it, you pinky wafer. Let Kirk drive.

  Dennis : Kirk can't drive. He's a renowned ram-raider.

  Saboo : Kirk? Is it true that you've become a vehicular menace; mowing down all in your path?

  Kirk : Yes.

  Tony Harrison : Can we stop? I need a wee-wee.

  Dennis : We were only just in the service station.

  Tony Harrison : I know, but I didn't need to go then! I'm not a machine, I've got a weak bladder!

  Saboo : You are a bladder.

  Tony Harrison : Anyway, it's not my fault. I couldn't reach the pee-trough! I asked you to pick me up; you just shunned me!

  Dennis : I'm sorry, but I do not stoop to pick up men in the urinals.

  Saboo : ...that's not what I've heard.

  Tony Harrison : Ohhhh! You walked right into it!

  All Shamen : [singing]  We are super magic men/We stay up till five A.M.!/Although we're bound by shaman lords/What goes on tour, stays on tour!

• Howard Moon : We're in trouble. We've got to get out of town.

  Vince Noir : Just calm down and tell me what happened.

  Howard Moon : This man came into the shop, a cockney! He urinated in my face, and...

  [turns to camera] 

  Howard Moon : we've seen all this. Can we just cut to something else while I explain it?

  [cuts to a game of Pong for a few seconds] 

  Howard Moon : ...We've got to get a thousand Euros by midnight or we're dead!

  [turns to camera] 

  Howard Moon : Thank you.

  [the Pong game beeps off-screen in response] 

• Howard Moon : But we had an arrangement...

  Vince Noir : Oh, boo-hoo the arrangement! Do I look like a reasonable man to you?