Being Human (TV Series)

Pilot (2008)

Russell Tovey: George Sands

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Quotes 

• George Sands : The worst thing, the very worst thing, is that it feels so good. A week before I need glasses to watch the news, Mitchell has to open jars for me. Then suddenly everything starts to work. All my senses expand and there's this part of me that can't wait, that's turned on and hungry. The neck's amazing isn't it? This tangle of artery and muscle and sinew. Did you know there are two jugular veins? An internal one and an external one. I've met people what have tasted them. And they said the windpipe came away with a sigh of air from the lungs that was still warm. As they described it they had this look, like everything they do in between is just sleepwalking and it's only for those few moments that they are totally and truly alive. And there's part of me that would give anything to feel like they did, to taste what they taste. And that's the worst thing.

• George Sands : Why now?

  John Mitchell : I don't know. When in Rome, stop killing the other Romans?

• John Mitchell : So, you've just arrived at Hogwarts, which house do they put you in?

  George Sands : I'd like to say Gryffindor, but they're supposed to be brave. What's the other one? Ravenclaw, does that have a characteristic?

  John Mitchell : I think they're brainy. You could be in Ravenclaw.

  Annie : I quite fancy Hufflepuff actually. I've always thought in Hufflepuff they just spend the day making stuff with safety scissors and glitter.

  George Sands : What about you?

  John Mitchell : I think that they'd say. It's probably best if you just stay in the canteen for the next five years.

  Annie : Does anyone ever 'choose' Slytherin?

  George Sands : No, because that would be like saying 'I'm a sociopath.'

• George Sands : Okay, you win ten million pounds; what do you do?

  Annie : Buy Colin Firth.

• John Mitchell : Nice blouse. Where did you leave your clothes?

  George Sands : I don't know. I don't know where we are. I had to get the operator to tell me where I was calling from.

• George Sands : So, a house or a flat?

  John Mitchell : Whatever we can afford.

  George Sands : And if we need to move on again?

  John Mitchell : We move on.

  George Sands : We share the cleaning.

  John Mitchell : We can draw up a roster, I'll buy highlighter pens and everything.

  George Sands : What about guests?

  John Mitchell : We can't ask them to clean.

  George Sands : No. What if one of us wants to have a guest?

  John Mitchell : In your last house you clearly had a level of security that I'm not used to. You want a guest. You have a guest. Wait a second, are you talking about a lady shaped guest?

• John Mitchell : Just so you know, people have said it's creepy here.

  George Sands : It bloody will be now.

• George Sands : This is ridiculous. What could be scarier than one of us?

  John Mitchell : A bigger one of us.

• Annie : Uh, you don't have to keep going on about it, me being a ghost, it's a bit rude. If someones fat and you're like 'you're fat'.

  George Sands : Oh, I'm sorry maybe I'm just a bit tetchy, because you just tried to scare me out of my house.

• George Sands : She gets the box room.

• Julia : I thought you were gay.

  George Sands : That would have been easier.

  Julia : Struggling to think of something that wouldn't.

• George Sands : You look weird.

  John Mitchell : This from a man in cullottes.

• John Mitchell : You'd be better in a fight, you're stocky.

  George Sands : I'm not stocky.

  John Mitchell : Look at you, you're like... you know in a cartoon when a safe falls on someone...?

• Annie : But normal people can't see me.

  George Sands : We are perfectly normal, thank you.

  Annie : Er, sorry but by normal I meant: doesn't turn into the Littlest Hobo once a month.

• Annie : Ah well, you shouldn't be eating bacon anyway, should you - you're Jewish.

  George Sands : Yeah, I gave up on the whole orthodoxy thing when I started turning into a wolf.

  Annie : Do they have rules about being a werewolf as well?

  George Sands : I think you'd be hard pressed to find a religion that doesn't frown on it.

  John Mitchell : What about the Moonies?

• Owen : What was it?

  George Sands : What? Oh... em... It was... It was a pigeon.

  Owen : A pigeon?

  George Sands : Must have left a window open.

  Owen : Well, how you got rid of it?

  George Sands : I killed it.

  Mitchell : You... You killed it?

  George Sands : Yeah. With a shoe.