Saturday Night Live (TV Series)

Eddie Murphy/Lizzo (2019)

Aidy Bryant: Various

Quotes 

• [During a Holiday Baking Championship, Eddie Murphy as contestant named Mitch is prepared to unveil his piece for the judges] 

  Judge #1 : Next up is Mitch.

  Mitch : Hi, judges! I can't believe I'm here! I want to say you look so much more attractive in person.

  Judge #1 : Okay, thanks. What's your Christmas memory?

  Mitch : My children have grown up in Napa. One of my favorite memory is playing video games on Christmas mornings. So cake is that speedy rascal, Sonic the Hedgehog. It is made from royal icing and the shoes are made from hot cinnamon and the speed lines are red licorice.

  Judge #2 : Wow, really interesting flavor profile.

  Mitch : I only get one shot at this and I didn't want to "hedgehog" my bets.

  Judge #3 : I love that you came to play. Let's see it.

  [Mitch reveals his cake. It looks horrible and it's brown in color] 

  Judge #1 : Good God, Mitch.

  Mitch : That's bad. It's gross. Real bad.

  Judge #2 : What went wrong?

  Mitch : I think I just made a lot of bad choices. I don't mean the cake. I mean, in general, in my life.

  Judge #3 : And why is it brown, Mitch?

  Mitch : I don't know. Why is anything brown?

  Judge #3 : Okay. And are those human teeth in its mouth?

  Mitch : That's correct. The teeth are human.

  [Later in the sketch, Mitch's cake has spontaneously ignited in flames -- thanks to a quickly-hidden lighter in Eddie's hand] 

  Mitch : I think it's trying to kill itself!

  [the cake, heretofore known as Demonic Sonic, begins speaking in ancient tongues and language] 

  Judge #2 : I'm sorry, Mitch. What language is that it's speaking?

  Mitch : That's some evil backwards devil talk. I believe I opened up a portal and I am so bad at baking.

  Judge #1 : Should we destroy it?

  Demonic Sonic : [quickly, the cake adopts a sweet old lady voice]  No! Please don't hurt me. I love you!

  Judge #1 : What is that voice?

  Mitch : It's in your grandmother's voice to try to trick and drag you to hell!

  Judge #3 : That's very disturbing. At least you took risks.