The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization (2008)
Johnny Galecki: Leonard Hofstadter
Photos
Quotes
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Leonard Hofstadter : We have to do this.
Sheldon Cooper : No, we have to take in nourishment, expel waste and breathe in enough oxygen to keep our cells from dying. Everything else is purely optional.
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Penny : [picking out clothes from Leonard's closet] Okay. Well, let's just see what else you have. Okay, here, take this, and this, and this, and these...
Leonard Hofstadter : Is this all stuff you want me to try on?
Penny : No, this is the stuff I want you to throw out. Seriously, don't even give it to charity; you won't be helping anyone.
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[after Leonard and Sheldon's brawl]
Howard Wolowitz : You won't believe it.
Raj Koothrappali : Someone got the whole thing on their cell phone and put it on YouTube.
Leonard Hofstadter : What?
Sheldon Cooper : Well, who would do that?
Howard Wolowitz : That would be me.
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Leonard Hofstadter : What is this letter doing in the trash?
Sheldon Cooper : Well, it may be that a trashcan spontaneously formed around the letter, but Occam's Razor suggests that someone threw it away.
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Leonard Hofstadter : You can not blow up my head with your mind.
Sheldon Cooper : Then I'll settle for an aneurysm.
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Penny : What is this?
Leonard Hofstadter : Oh, that is the bottled city of Kandor.
Penny : Uh-huh.
Leonard Hofstadter : You see, Kandor was the capital city of Krypton, until it was shrunk by Braniac before Krypton was destroyed. It was then rescued by Superman.
Penny : Oh. It's nice.
Leonard Hofstadter : It's a lot cooler when girls aren't looking at it.
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Sheldon Cooper : Was the apple falling on Newton's head, was that just an anecdote?
Leonard Hofstadter : You are not Isaac Newton.
Sheldon Cooper : No, no, that's true. Gravity would have been apparent to me without the apple.
Leonard Hofstadter : You cannot possibly be that arrogant.
Sheldon Cooper : You continue to underestimate me, my good man.
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Howard Wolowitz : I just checked the house, there must be twenty, twenty-five people in there.
Leonard Hofstadter : Wow.
Penny : Is that good?
Leonard Hofstadter : In physics, twenty-five is Woodstock.
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Leonard Hofstadter : You know what? I am tired of your condescension. Maybe I didn't go to college when I was eleven, like you. Maybe I got my doctorate when I was twenty-four instead of sixteen. But you are not the only person who is smarter than everybody else in this room!
[Sheldon nods pointedly at the audience]
Leonard Hofstadter : No offense. And I am clearly not the only person who is tormented by insecurity and has an ego in need of constant validation.
Sheldon Cooper : So you admit you're an egotist?
Leonard Hofstadter : Yes!
[turning to the audience]
Leonard Hofstadter : My name is Dr. Leonard Hofstadter and I could never please my parents, so I need to get all of my self-esteem from strangers like you. But *he's worse*!
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Sheldon Cooper : I'm the lead author.
Leonard Hofstadter : Come on, the only reason you're the lead author is because we went alphabetically.
Sheldon Cooper : I let you think we went alphabetically to spare you the humiliation with dealing with the fact that it was my idea. Now to put too fine a point to it, but I was throwing you a bone. You're welcome.
Leonard Hofstadter : Excuse me, I designed the experiment that proved the hypothesis.
Sheldon Cooper : It doesn't need proving.
Leonard Hofstadter : So the entire scientific community is just supposed to take your word?
Sheldon Cooper : They're not supposed to, but they should.
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Leonard Hofstadter : See?
Penny : No.
Sheldon Cooper : Someone in Sichuan province, China, is using his computer to turn our lights on and off.
Penny : Oh, that's handy. Here's a question... Why?
Boys together : Because we can.
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Leonard Hofstadter : Hang on. Hang on. Do you not realize what we just did?
Penny : Yeah, you turned your stereo down with your laptop.
Leonard Hofstadter : Ah, no, we turned our stereo down by sending a signal around the world via the internet.
Penny : Ohhhh. You know, you can just get one of those universal remotes from Radio Shack. They're really cheap.
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Penny : Oh, wow, a paisley shirt.
Leonard Hofstadter : Uh-huh, it goes with my corduroy suit.
Penny : If you mean it should end up in the same place, then I agree.
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Leonard Hofstadter : Are there any questions?
Sheldon Cooper : Yeah. What the hell was that?