- Samantha's boss, billionaire Winston Funk, arrives at his twice-a-year visit at Chapman & Funk... and proposes to Samantha! And Samantha has no recollection of her past, secret (especially from Andrea) intimate relationship with Funk.
- Oh, that wacky amnesia...it makes life that much more surprising.
For example! Samantha (Christina Applegate), still figuring out a way to win back the perfectly lovely ex she alienated before she contracted a case of the forgetfuls by way of being hit by a car, heads up to a business meeting at her company. Leading the gathering is the mysterious and uber-rich company partner Winston Funk (Timothy Olyphant).
Mr. Funk is so prepared for any scenario that he brought along a sign language interpreter to the scrum -- even though none of the employees of Chapman and Funk is hearing impaired! All of this makes Samantha's regular old surly boss Chase Chapman (Rick Hoffman) a little sick in his mouth, but Andrea (Jennifer Esposito) is overcome with joy at the sight of him. Everything Funk says makes Andrea clap like a seal, which leads Samantha to surmise that her best frenemy has the billionaire in her sights.
Andrea asks Sam if she thinks she has a chance and Sam, well, dithers. But when she goes to her office to escape her co-workers, who is there but....the rich playboy in question. Winston busts out with the serious funk, and a very large and flawless rock, asking Sam to marry him. He and his wife are divorced, he says, which means the path to matrimony is wide open for Funk and Sam -- who must have engaged in some extramarital knocking of the boots in her previous life.
Happy Monday, indeed.
Taken aback, Sam decides to break it to Winston that she has amnesia after being nailed by a car. So, if there was something between them, she doesn't remember it. She doesn't even remember REO Speedwagon, she explains, which really knocks the wind out of Funk's sails.
But, since she's still stuck on her ex Todd (Barry Watson), and she doesn't remember their tryst, she returns the ring and backs out of the room.
Later, she meets Dena (Melissa McCarthy) in the park to get some advice. She's afraid that if Andrea finds out about Sam and Funk, her pal's going to kill her. And Sam keeps on calling Todd to try and straighten things out between them, but Todd isn't returning her calls. Dena, now looking at life as if it were a romance novel thanks to an online writing class, asks Sam what she wants: Does she want to risk it all and win the stable boy, or be a heroine who just gives up to throw herself on some rocks?
Next scene: Sam stalks Todd at his coffee shop. She needs to tell him why she tried to sabotage his relationship with Chloe, and the reason is that she has feelings...about the situation in the Middle East! He counters that it doesn't matter, because he is in love with Chloe, and he and Sam are through. As he stalks off, she accuses him of being unsupportive of the troops.
Nighttime: Samantha heads over to see her Mom (Jean Smart) and Dad (Kevin Dunn), and they happen to have company -- Winston Funk! Winston decided to circumvent Sam and go straight to the source, and they were all too happy to give their blessing for their daughter to marry an incredibly rich handsome guy she doesn't know. Especially since Funk promised he'd let her dad fly his helicopter.
"When I buy a business, I also like to buy the parent company," he explains to her later, as they're standing outside.
He wants to fly her off to Barbados, but Sam tries to deflate the situation. "You know who likes the tropics? And also, bossing around people from Third World countries? My friend Andrea."
"Since your accident, have you seen snow?" He snaps his fingers, and it begins to snow, as if by his command...but, no, he just saw the flakes starting to come down in the light of the street lamp. "Never underestimate the power of a man in love." It's a tender moment....ruined by her braying mother, who comes out to snap a photo of the couple.
Next day, morning meeting. Winston Funk makes a stupid quip about selling snow to an Eskimo, and Samantha begins to giggle uncontrollably. Andrea shoots her a glare -- she figures it out. They face off in the ladies room, and Andrea accuses her of being a crush stealer, and announces that she's done with Sam.
"I hate you. And I don't like your shoes today. And if you fell off the face of the Earth, I wouldn't even care." The door slams, and Andrea's gone.
Running back to Dena -- why is the overweight friend always the weirdo, go-to gal for problems but rarely for fun in this sitcom? -- Sam tries again to work out her problems, but Dena can't stop talking in the flowery style of a skeevy bodice ripper. And that's just fine and dandy, since Winston Funk has pulled up in his limo and is requesting an audience with Lady Amnesia. Deciding on a whim to be done with Todd and Andrea, Sam leaps into the limo and tells Funk she'd like to give it a try, but he has to take her out for coffee, at least. Then she notices that his car smells like cupcakes -- "Are you so rich, you smell like cupcakes?" -- then, while he's trying to sell her on a trip to watch his soccer team in Madrid, the scent of cakes triggers a memory....
Flashback to: Old Sam. She's walking through the cubicles towards Chapman's office. Andrea sidles up to and asks Sam to recommend her for a New York job. Sam is reluctant because she doesn't want to Andrea to leave her, but Sam begs until she agrees to do her best.
She then proceeds to stalk into Chapman's office and tell him *not* to send Andrea to New York. When she comes back out, she lies to Andrea that she did her best, but oh well, no dice. For a consolation prize Sam takes Andrea out for a cupcake.
Back to: Present day. Funk's still talking, but Sam feels awful. She asks for a raincheck because she has things to do. Disappointed, he says he understands, then leaves her the car to take her wherever she wants to go. Suddenly recalling the name of Andrea's favorite sweet shop, she asks the driver to take her there.
Andrea is sitting outside on a bench, pouting. Andrea explains that she and Sam used to sit on that bench together and smell the cupcakes so they could enjoy a treat but not have to deal with the calories. Sam asks Andrea to forgive her, because they're best friends, and best haters doesn't work quite as well. Then she admits to Andrea that she sabotaged the job she wanted so badly in New York to keep her close, because she loved her so much. Andrea, moved by this, confesses that in the past she, in turn, ruined Sam's chances of getting a job in L.A. True friends, indeed! Giddily, they hug.
At home on her couch, surrounded by bouquets and cupcakes, Sam's watching TV when a knock at the front door interrupts. She opens it to find nothing but a snow globe, and a card that reads, "Snap and shake." She grins and gazes into the globe...only to hear another knock on the door. When she opens it this time, Todd's there -- and he looks very upset. In his hand is a tabloid with a picture of Funk and Sam on the cover -- her mom's badly timed photo! Before she can explain it to Todd, he suddenly plants a deep smooch on her lips, then accuses her of making him kiss her, and walks off. Sam smiles widely with delight....until next week.
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