Licorice Pizza (2021)
Alana Haim: Alana
Photos
Quotes
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Alana : [during a fight] Este, don't you even look at me! Don't you even look at me! You're always looking at me!
Este : Oh, my...
Alana : What are you doing?
Este : I didn't even say anything!
Alana : What are you doing? What are you thinking, huh? "I'm Este. I work for mom and dad. I'm perfect! I'm a real estate agent. Alana doesn't have her life together. Alana brings home stupid boyfriends all the time."
Este : I mean...
Alana : I knew it! I knew that was what you were thinking. You're always thinking things, you thinker! You thinker! You think things!
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Alana : Fuck off, teenagers!
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Gary Valentine : You say everything twice.
Alana : I don't say everything twice! What is this, say everything twice?
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Alana : What does your penis look like?
Lance Brannigan : What?
Alana : What does your penis look like?
Lance Brannigan : Like a regular penis, I guess.
Alana : Is it circumcised?
Lance Brannigan : Yeah...
Alana : Then you're a fucking Jew!
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Alana : 'Soggy Bottom' sounds like someone shit their pants.
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Alana : I love you, Gary.
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Alana : You don't have the balls. I'm cooler than you. Don't forget it.
Gary Valentine : I don't need you to tell me whether I'm cool or not, old lady.
Alana : What was that?
Gary Valentine : I said "milady".
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Alana : You don't even know what's going on in the world. You think that the world revolves around Gary Valentine and whatever stupid shit you come up with.
Gary Valentine : It does.
Alana : No it doesn't.
Gary Valentine : Yes, it does.
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Alana : Stop.
Gary Valentine : What?
Alana : I can hear you breathing. Stop.
Gary Valentine : Breathing?
Alana : Yes.
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Alana : Are you asking me out?
Gary Valentine : Yes.
Alana : I'm not going on a date with you, you're twelve.
Gary Valentine : You're funny. I'm fifteen.
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Alana : What's your name?
Waterbed Ted : Uh, Ted.
Alana : Ted.
Waterbed Ted : Yes.
Alana : Oh, Ted, I love that name.
Waterbed Ted : Okay...
Alana : My name's Alana.
Waterbed Ted : Hi, Alana.
Alana : Can I come and install the bed for you?
Waterbed Ted : What?
Alana : I'd lay it down and show you how it works. It moves in a similar way to the ocean... wet inside. And it takes some getting used to, but once you're in there, oh, Ted, I don't think you're gonna be asking any questions.
Waterbed Ted : Sounds like you just sold a waterbed, Alana. Tell me, what time can you be over with that bed?
Alana : Oh, well. Eager. I have to wait until my work is done.
Waterbed Ted : Oh, yeah?
Alana : Yeah. I have a mean, old boss that makes me work all day.
Waterbed Ted : Why don't you tell Fat Bernie you have work to do and get out of there?
Alana : Oh. Fat Bernie is so mean, Ted.
Waterbed Ted : Sounds like it.
Alana : He keeps me locked up inside. But you know what, Ted?
Waterbed Ted : What's that?
Alana : I know you're gonna love our wet beds. You know what they come with?
Waterbed Ted : What's that?
Alana : A wood headboard. And that wood is strong and sticks straight up against the wall.
Waterbed Ted : That sounds great.
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Gary Valentine : Hello, gorgeous.
Alana : Hello, handsome.
Gary Valentine : Come here often?
Alana : No, 'cause I'm not a teenager. I'm selling earrings for my friend JoJo.
Gary Valentine : Is your bottom soggy? Having trouble sleeping?
Alana : Well, now that you mention it...
Gary Valentine : Boyfriend trouble?
Alana : No boyfriend. So I don't really have trouble.
Gary Valentine : Well, that's good.
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Jon Peters : How about your dad? You have a good relationship with your dad?
Alana : Yeah.
Jon Peters : What does he do?
Alana : Real estate.
Jon Peters : Did he reach you how to drive? You're good at it! It's not easy... Gary can't do it.
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Alana : I don't understand, but... I'm sexy, right?
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Gary Valentine : I'm not trying to pressure you.
Alana : You are pressuring me. You are. That's what you're doing.
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Gary Valentine : I get this feeling I was meant to know you, Alana.
Alana : You know I'm 25, right? I can be your friend but I can't be your girlfriend. That's illegal.
Gary Valentine : You give me hope.
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Alana : Stop talking so much, slimy.
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Alana : What are you? You're like a little Robert Goulet, Dean Martin or something.
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Gary Valentine : Stop using time as an excuse, Alana. Our roads took us here.
Alana : Stop sounding like a philosophy guy, Albert Einstein. Maybe I'll see you later. I'm *not* gonna see you later.
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Gary Valentine : So, Alana, what are your plans?
Alana : I don't know.
Gary Valentine : What's your future look like?
Alana : I don't know.
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Alana : Don't be creepy, please. Will you stop with the googly eyes?
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Alana : Stop.
Gary Valentine : What?
Alana : I can hear you breathing. Stop!
Gary Valentine : Breathing?
Alana : Yes.
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Gary Valentine : Do you like Japanese food?
Alana : I don't really know what that is.
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Alana : You're sweet, Gary. You're gonna be rich in a mansion by the time you're 16. I'm gonna be here taking photos of kids for their yearbooks when I'm 30. You're never gonna remember me.
Gary Valentine : I'm not gonna forget you. Just like you're not gonna forget me.
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Alana : Don't call me all the time. Okay? We're not boyfriend and girlfriend. Remember that. We're - you know.
Gary Valentine : I know.
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Lance Brannigan : I'm an atheist.
Alana : You're Jewish.
Lance Brannigan : Well, you're certainly right. I was born into Judaism, but my personal path has led me to atheism. You see, I just can't believe there's a God when I see all the suffering in the world. Vietnam, you know?
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Frisbee Kahill : Hey, you still work at Tiny Toes?
Alana : No, I'm partners with Gary now.
Frisbee Kahill : Oh, the "Hand Man." Did he try and get a hand job from you?
Alana : Yeah, he's asking all the time.
Frisbee Kahill : Good. I'll pass the baton off to you.
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Gary Valentine : Let me introduce you to the greatest invention in sleeping since the inner spring.
Alana : I've seen these before. These are far out.
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Gary Valentine : The bed's not just for sleeping, Alana.
Alana : Well, if it's not just for sleeping, I think you mean it's for sex. "Soggy Bottom" isn't making anyone hot or horny.
Gary Valentine : It doesn't make you hot?
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Alana : Why won't you ask someone your age to see their boobs?
Gary Valentine : Because I'm asking you!
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Alana : Don't tell me to make it more sexy, man. If you want it more sexy, I'll make it fucking horny.
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Gary Valentine : So you'd be naked in a movie, but you wouldn't make out with me? You'd show the whole world your boobs, but I'm not allowed to see?
Alana : You told me to say yes to everything, remember?
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Jack Holden : I saw two of my best black friends beheaded in the Congo. I'll tell you intimacies I've shared with no one. But don't ask me about Kuala Lumpur.
Alana : Is this lines or is this real?
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Alana : If you ever say anything to anyone, I'm never speaking to you ever again. I'll see you tomorrow.
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Jack Holden : The Bridges span a narrow gap between two targets. They're the most important targets in all of Korea. Consequently, they're fortified accordingly. Although we're only over the targets 30 seconds, it's a lifetime.
Alana : We're going to Korea? I don't understand. But I'm sexy, right?
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Alana : I need to get my life together.
Gary Valentine : So, get it together.
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Alana : Danielle, I'm eliminating state property tax for the elderly and saving the mountains, and you're talking about free Pepsi.
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Alana : You don't even know what's going on in the world. You think that the world revolves around Gary Valentine and whatever stupid shit you come up with.
Gary Valentine : It does.
Alana : It doesn't.
Gary Valentine : It does.
Alana : It doesn't. It's about more.
Gary Valentine : No, it's not.
Alana : Yes, it is.
Gary Valentine : No, it's not.
Alana : Yes, it is.
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Alana : Are you doing what I think you're doing?
Gary Valentine : What do you think I'm doing?
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Alana : You smoke those cigarettes, you're gonna throw up like a little bitch.
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Alana : Things come easily when they matter so much.
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Rive Gauche Waiter : May I get you something?
Alana : Uh - a martini.
Rive Gauche Waiter : Martini. Vodka or gin?
Alana : Vodka-gin.
Rive Gauche Waiter : Would you like an olive or a lime with it?
Alana : Yes.
Rive Gauche Waiter : Yeah, madame.