How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

Dowisetrepla (2007)

Josh Radnor: Ted Mosby

Quotes 

• Ted Mosby : Barney, what are you doing? You can't take this apartment from Marshall and Lily.

  Barney Stinson : You think I have no morals whatsoever? I'm only pretending to live here so I can take this woman here, nail her and never have to see her again. I'm not a monster.

• Barney Stinson : I met a girl last night.

  Ted Mosby : Really?

  Barney Stinson : She's so perky, and full of life, and not at all fake.

  Ted Mosby : You are talking about her boobs, right?

  Barney Stinson : Si... and that wasn't Spanish, that was cup size. Wuddupppppp!

• Ted Mosby : Why would you come in? You heard me shaving!

  Lily Aldrin : I thought you were shaving your face!

  Ted Mosby : Well, clearly I wasn't!

• Ted Mosby : Now all we need is a motive. The million dollar question: What were they fighting about?

  Robin Scherbatsky : I know what they've been fighting about...

  Ted Mosby : Bap-bap-bap...! There is only one possible conclusion. Lily and Marshall were fighting about... peanut butter. Lily left the lid off, and Marshall blew his.

  Robin Scherbatsky : I know what they were fighting about, and it wasn't peanut butter.

  Barney Stinson : Robin, just...

  Ted Mosby : I appreciate your help. But there is a reason why your name is Robin, not Batman.

• Robin Scherbatsky : He had a detective's club as a kid.

  Ted Mosby : Hey, the Mosby Boys cracked a lot of cases.

  Robin Scherbatsky : The Mosby Boys? You mean you and your sister?

  Ted Mosby : We solved the case of the missing retainer.

  Robin Scherbatsky : Let me guess... it was in the garbage.

  Ted Mosby : Why do you like this?