The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (TV Series)

Episode #1.1 (1981)

Simon Jones: Arthur Dent

Photos 

Quotes 

• Prosser : But the plans were on display.

  Arthur Dent : On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar.

  Prosser : That's the display department.

  Arthur Dent : With a torch.

  Prosser : The lights had probably gone.

  Arthur Dent : So had the stairs.

  Prosser : But you did see the notice, didn't you?

  Arthur Dent : Oh, yes. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign outside the door saying "Beware of the Leopard." Ever thought of going into advertising?

• Ford Prefect : Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so.

  Arthur Dent : Very deep. You should send that in to the Reader's Digest. They've got a page for people like you.

• Arthur Dent : That man wants to knock my house down.

  Ford Prefect : Well, he can do that whilst you're away, can't he?

• Ford Prefect : And no sneaky knocking Mr. Dent's house down while he's away, all right?

  Prosser : The slightest thought hadn't even begun to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing my mind.

  Arthur Dent : Can we trust him?

  Ford Prefect : Myself, I'd trust him till the end of the Earth.

  Arthur Dent : Yes, but how far's that?

  Ford Prefect : About twelve minutes away.

• Ford Prefect : How would you react if I told you that I'm not from Guildford after all, but from a small planet somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse?

  Arthur Dent : I don't know. Why? Do you think it's the sort of thing you're likely to say?

  Ford Prefect : Drink up. The world's about to end.

  Arthur Dent : This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays.

• Ford Prefect : How are you feeling?

  Arthur Dent : Like a military academy. Bits of me keep passing out. Ford? If I were to ask you where the hell we were, would I regret it?

  Ford Prefect : We're safe.

  Arthur Dent : Ah. Good.

  Ford Prefect : We're in a cabin of one of the spaceships of the Vogon Constructor Fleet.

  Arthur Dent : Ah. This is obviously some strange usage of the word "safe" that I hadn't previously been aware of.

• Arthur Dent : Good grief. Is this really the interior of a flying saucer?

  Ford Prefect : Yes. What do you think?

  Arthur Dent : Well, it's a bit squalid, isn't it?

• Arthur Dent : What are you doing?

  Ford Prefect : Preparing for hyperspace. It's rather unpleasantly like being drunk.

  Arthur Dent : What's so wrong about being drunk?

  Ford Prefect : Ask a glass of water.

• [Arthur Dent looks up "Earth" in the Hitchhiker's Guide] 

  Arthur Dent : What's it say? "Harmless." Just one word? Harmless?

• [last lines] 

  Arthur Dent : What the hell's that?

  Ford Prefect : Well, if we're lucky, it's the Vogon Guard come to throw us into space.

  Arthur Dent : And if we're unlucky?

  Ford Prefect : The Vogon Captain might want to read us some of his poetry first.

• Arthur Dent : I like the cover. "Don't Panic". It's the first helpful or intelligible thing anyone's said to me all day.

• Prosser : Mr. Dent?

  Arthur Dent : Hello, yes?

  Prosser : Have you any idea how much damage this bulldozer would suffer if I were to let it roll straight over you?

  Arthur Dent : How much?

  Prosser : None at all.

• Mr. Prosser : You can't lie in front of the bulldozers indefinitely.

  Arthur Dent : I'm game. We'll see who rusts first.

• Mr. Prosser : Mr. Dent!

  Arthur Dent : Hello, yes!

  Mr. Prosser : Have you any idea of how much damage that bulldozer would suffer if I just let it roll straight over you?

  Arthur Dent : How much?

  Mr. Prosser : None at all.

• Arthur Dent : [after they've arrived on board the Vogon ship]  If I asked where the hell we were, would I regret it?asked where

  Ford Prefect : We're safe.

  Arthur Dent : Oh, good.

  Ford Prefect : We're in a small galley cabin on one of the ships in the Vogon Constructor Fleet.

  Arthur Dent : Ah! This is obviously some strange use of the word "safe" that I wasn't previously aware of.

• Arthur Dent : How did we get here?

  Ford Prefect : We hitched a lift.

  Arthur Dent : Excuse me! Are you trying to say that we just stuck out our thumbs and some green bug-eyed monster stuck his head out and said "Hi, fellas, hop in, I can take you as far as the Basingstoke roundabout"?

  Ford Prefect : Well, the thumb's an electronic sub-ether device, the roundabout's at Barbard's Star, six light-years away, but otherwise that's more or less it.

  Arthur Dent : And the bug-eyed monster?

  Ford Prefect : [grinning]  It's green, yes.

• Arthur Dent : [to Mr. Prosser, talking about the impending demolition of his house]  The first I knew about it was when a workman arrived at the door yesterday. I asked him if he'd come to clean the windows, and he said he'd come to demolish the house! He didn't tell me straight away, of course; no, first he wiped a couple of windows and charged me a fiver, *then* he told me!

• Ford Prefect : Hello, Arthur.

  Arthur Dent : Ford! Hi, how are you?

  Ford Prefect : Fine. Look, are you busy?

  Arthur Dent : Well, I've just got this bulldozer to lie down in front of, but otherwise no.

• Arthur Dent : [the Vogan guard has found them]  What's that?

  Ford Prefect : Well, if we're lucky, it's just the Vogans come to throw us into deep space.

  Arthur Dent : And if we're UN-lucky?

  Ford Prefect : The captain might want to read us some of his poetry first.