The Simpsons (TV Series)

Homer of Seville (2007)

Nancy Cartwright: Bart Simpson, Maggie Simpson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dr. Hibbert : I just need to make sure your vertebrae are properly aligned. This should take only a minute, and cost about a thousand dollars.

  Homer Simpson : [singing operatically]  D'oh!

  Marge Simpson : That doesn't sound like Homer's usual annoyed grunt.

  Dr. Hibbert : Hmm.

  Homer Simpson : [singing operatically as Hibbert pokes him in the stomach]  D'oh!

  [in a lower pitch as Hibbert does so again] 

  Homer Simpson : D'oh!

  Dr. Hibbert : Fascinating. When Homer's on his back, his stomach lodges perfectly under his diaphragm, giving him a powerful singing voice.

  Bart Simpson : Is that a real thing?

  Lisa Simpson : It is! Tenor Andrea Bocelli recorded an entire song on his back.

  Dr. Hibbert : You know, Homer, your singing could help alleviate patient suffering, and save us a fortune in Demerol.

• Bart Simpson : [after Homer's opera debut]  Dad, you were great!

  Lisa Simpson : And you contributed to our culture!

  Homer Simpson : Well, I didn't mean to.

  Lisa Simpson : No, no. It's a good thing.

  Homer Simpson : Oh, good. This makes up for me showing up drunk to the father/daughter dance.

  Lisa Simpson : The dance isn't 'til next week.

  Homer Simpson : Sorry, Lisa. Can't change the future.

• Bart Simpson : Hey, Mom, do all conductors carry poison blow-darts in their pocket?

  Marge Simpson : Well, Arthur Fiedler used to, but I'd better take a look.

  [recognizing Julia as the conductor] 

  Marge Simpson : Chief Wiggums! The maestro is the killer!

  Chief Wiggum : [putting on a Viking helmet backstage]  All right, I'm going in.

  [falling into the orchestra pit from the loud noise] 

  Chief Wiggum : [on top of a kettle drum]  Allegro! Allegro!

  [the musicians begin playing faster] 

  Chief Wiggum : I mean andante. Andante!

  [sighing as they slow down] 

  Chief Wiggum : Ah, yeah.

• Homer Simpson : Oh, Homer, you've got to try this roast beef au jus.

  Homer Simpson : [taking a bite]  Mmm! Au jus! Not quite gravy, not quite blood.

  Lisa Simpson : Look at the crowd around that table.

  Bart Simpson : It must be a make-your-own-sundae bar!

  Homer Simpson : [pushing past people]  Oh, I can't wait to taste that hot fudge and caramel and crushed nuts all slathered over a delicious... ELDERLY CORPSE?

  Lisa Simpson : [mortified]  We crashed a funeral!

  Marge Simpson : Oh, my god! Quick, everyone put on their long faces.

  [the family puts on expressions of sadness] 

  Marge Simpson : Longer!

• Marge Simpson : [after Sunday mass]  Well, where should we go for brunch? Griddler on the Roof? Thank God It's Fried Eggs? Luftwaffles? Bodacious Frittatas? Buffet the Hunger Slayer?

  Homer Simpson : I wanna say one!

  Marge Simpson : Be my guest.

  Homer Simpson : Denny's.

  [dejected groan] 

  Homer Simpson : Oh...

  Bart Simpson : Every place has such a long line.

  Homer Simpson : Don't worry. We'll just go home. Your mother can cook.

  Lisa Simpson : I just want a simple salad with pine nuts, haricots verts, seasonal heirloom tomatoes...

  Marge Simpson : Forget it! One day a week, I should be able to put on nice clothes and have someone bring food to me.

  Bart Simpson : There's a place... with no line!

  Homer Simpson : Whoo-hoo!

  Lisa Simpson : [seeing a catering van]  Bart, that's not a restaurant, it's somebody's house.

  Homer Simpson : Lisa's right, son. Your mom is way too classy to crash a private...

  Marge Simpson : [crawling through a window in the basement]  I'm not cooking!

• Homer Simpson : Well, that's it. I'm retiring from the opera. It's just too popular. And I know something much more fun I can do on my back.

  [at the house, he paints a mural of the family on the ceiling of the family room] 

  Homer Simpson : Singing opera made me good at painting.

  Bart Simpson : Is that a real thing?

  Lisa Simpson : No.