The Simpsons (TV Series)

Homer of Seville (2007)

Julie Kavner: Marge Simpson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dr. Hibbert : I just need to make sure your vertebrae are properly aligned. This should take only a minute, and cost about a thousand dollars.

  Homer Simpson : [singing operatically]  D'oh!

  Marge Simpson : That doesn't sound like Homer's usual annoyed grunt.

  Dr. Hibbert : Hmm.

  Homer Simpson : [singing operatically as Hibbert pokes him in the stomach]  D'oh!

  [in a lower pitch as Hibbert does so again] 

  Homer Simpson : D'oh!

  Dr. Hibbert : Fascinating. When Homer's on his back, his stomach lodges perfectly under his diaphragm, giving him a powerful singing voice.

  Bart Simpson : Is that a real thing?

  Lisa Simpson : It is! Tenor Andrea Bocelli recorded an entire song on his back.

  Dr. Hibbert : You know, Homer, your singing could help alleviate patient suffering, and save us a fortune in Demerol.

• Marge Simpson : Sir, thank you for saving us. Do you want to come in for some coffee?

  Julia : [taking off her helmet and shaking out her hair]  That's right, I'm a woman.

  Homer Simpson : A lady motorcycle driver? What is this, the Twilight Zone?

• Homer Simpson : So, did you see the show tonight? Remember the part where I forgot the words and I just sang "Uh-oh, Spaghetti-O's"? I'm hoping they send me a case.

  Julia : [unzipping her one-piece motorcycle suit]  Now listen, Homer. You can have me anytime you want me.

  Homer Simpson : [a little frightened]  Marge!

  Julia : But if you say one word to your wife, I'll tell her you attacked me.

  Marge Simpson : [in the kitchen]  What is it, sweetie?

  Homer Simpson : Um... everyone's wearing clothes in here.

  Marge Simpson : That's nice.

• Marge Simpson : I'm so tense. I can't enjoy Count Almaviva serenading the intended bride of Dr. Bartolo. I just can't.

  Lisa Simpson : I don't see anything suspicious. Except someone is loudly unwrapping their candy.

  Moe Szyslak : It ain't candy, it's a lamb chop wrapped in foil.

• Bart Simpson : Hey, Mom, do all conductors carry poison blow-darts in their pocket?

  Marge Simpson : Well, Arthur Fiedler used to, but I'd better take a look.

  [recognizing Julia as the conductor] 

  Marge Simpson : Chief Wiggums! The maestro is the killer!

  Chief Wiggum : [putting on a Viking helmet backstage]  All right, I'm going in.

  [falling into the orchestra pit from the loud noise] 

  Chief Wiggum : [on top of a kettle drum]  Allegro! Allegro!

  [the musicians begin playing faster] 

  Chief Wiggum : I mean andante. Andante!

  [sighing as they slow down] 

  Chief Wiggum : Ah, yeah.

• Marge Simpson : Chief, I think we should cancel the performance.

  Chief Wiggum : No can do, Marge. My first duty is to the season-ticket holders. But don't worry, I've got the entire opera house on a complete lockdown. I got sharpshooters on the gargoyles, inflatable Homer decoys in the seats, and to take out the biggest threat of all, we're pre-crashing the chandelier.

• Homer Simpson : Oh, Homer, you've got to try this roast beef au jus.

  Homer Simpson : [taking a bite]  Mmm! Au jus! Not quite gravy, not quite blood.

  Lisa Simpson : Look at the crowd around that table.

  Bart Simpson : It must be a make-your-own-sundae bar!

  Homer Simpson : [pushing past people]  Oh, I can't wait to taste that hot fudge and caramel and crushed nuts all slathered over a delicious... ELDERLY CORPSE?

  Lisa Simpson : [mortified]  We crashed a funeral!

  Marge Simpson : Oh, my god! Quick, everyone put on their long faces.

  [the family puts on expressions of sadness] 

  Marge Simpson : Longer!

• Reverend Lovejoy : This concludes our service. Go now in the peace of the Lord.

  Homer Simpson : So long, suckers!

  [ushering the family out] 

  Homer Simpson : Move it, move it, move it! Do you want to be second out of the parking lot? DO YOU?

  [Lisa trips] 

  Homer Simpson : Leave her!

  Marge Simpson : We left her last week, and she didn't make it home for dinner!

  Homer Simpson : [getting in the car and peeling out]  You'll never catch me, Lord!

• Marge Simpson : [after Sunday mass]  Well, where should we go for brunch? Griddler on the Roof? Thank God It's Fried Eggs? Luftwaffles? Bodacious Frittatas? Buffet the Hunger Slayer?

  Homer Simpson : I wanna say one!

  Marge Simpson : Be my guest.

  Homer Simpson : Denny's.

  [dejected groan] 

  Homer Simpson : Oh...

  Bart Simpson : Every place has such a long line.

  Homer Simpson : Don't worry. We'll just go home. Your mother can cook.

  Lisa Simpson : I just want a simple salad with pine nuts, haricots verts, seasonal heirloom tomatoes...

  Marge Simpson : Forget it! One day a week, I should be able to put on nice clothes and have someone bring food to me.

  Bart Simpson : There's a place... with no line!

  Homer Simpson : Whoo-hoo!

  Lisa Simpson : [seeing a catering van]  Bart, that's not a restaurant, it's somebody's house.

  Homer Simpson : Lisa's right, son. Your mom is way too classy to crash a private...

  Marge Simpson : [crawling through a window in the basement]  I'm not cooking!

• Marge Simpson : I'm sorry you got hurt, but you learned an important lesson. No one comes between me and my Homie.

  Julia : [surly]  I'll get you for this, Marge, if it's the last thing I do.

  [brightly] 

  Julia : Oh, and I scheduled the cable guy to come on Wednesday between 10:00 and 2:00.

  Marge Simpson : Oh, but Wednesday's not good for me.

  Julia : I know, Marge. I know.

  [laughing evily]