The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Hamburger Postulate (2007)

Johnny Galecki: Leonard Hofstadter

Photos 

11 more photos

Quotes 

• Penny : I didn't know you played the cello.

  Leonard : Yeah, my parents felt that naming me Leonard and putting me in advanced placement classes wasn't getting me beaten up enough.

• [last lines] 

  Leonard Hofstadter : Well, what did she mean by that? Or was that just a generic platitude or was that a subtle bid for attention?

  Sheldon Cooper : You know why this hamburger surpasses the Big Boy? This is a single-decker hamburger whereas the Big Boy is a double-decker. This has a much more satisfying meat to bun to condiment ratio.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Are you even listening to me?

  Sheldon Cooper : Of course I'm listening. "Blah blah, hopeless Penny delusion, blah blah."

  Leonard Hofstadter : Okay then. You know, you can grow the ingredients for soup.

• Sheldon Cooper : I like the hamburgers where we usually have hamburgers, you can't make the assumption that I'll like the hamburgers here.

  Leonard Hofstadter : I'm sorry. Give him a hamburger.

  Penny : Uh, which one, the Classic Burger, the Ranch House Burger, the Barbecue Burger or the Kobe burger?

  Sheldon Cooper : Can't we just go to Big Boy? They only have one burger. The Big Boy.

  Penny : The Barbecue Burger is like the Big Boy.

  Sheldon Cooper : Excuse me, in a world that already includes a Big Boy, why would I settle for something like a Big Boy?

  Penny : Because you are not at Big Boy!

  Sheldon Cooper : Fine, I'll have the Barbecue Burger.

• Leslie : I admire your fingering.

  Leonard : Thank you.

  Leslie : Maybe sometime you can try that on my instrument.

• Leonard : Why are you smashing a flash-frozen banana?

  Leslie : 'Cause I got a bowl of Cheerios and I couldn't find a knife.

• Leonard Hofstadter : Leslie and I do research together at the university.

  Penny : Oh, wow! A girl scientist.

  Leslie Winkle : Yup, come for the breasts, stay for the brains.

• Leonard : Penny? What about her?

  Leslie : Well, I thought I saw your pupils dilate when you looked at her, which, unless you're a heroin addict, points to sexual attraction.

• [first lines] 

  Sheldon Cooper : Alright. I'm moving my infantry division, augmented by a battalion of orcs from Lord of the Rings. We fight the Tennessee Volunteers, and the North once again wins the Battle of Gettysburg.

  Howard Wolowitz : Not so fast. Remember the South still has two infantry divisions, plus Superman and Godzilla.

  Leonard Hofstadter : No, no, no no. Orcs are magic; Superman is vulnerable to magic. Not to mention, you already lost Godzilla to the Illinois Cavalry and Hulk.

  Raj Koothrappali : Why don't you just have Robert E. Lee charge the line with Shiva and Ganesh?

  Penny : Hey, you guys ready to order?

  Howard Wolowitz : Hang on, honey. Shiva and Ganesh? The Hindu gods against the entire Union army?

  Leonard Hofstadter : And orcs!

  Penny : I'll be back.

  Raj Koothrappali : Excuse me, Ganesh is the remover of obstacles and Shiva's the destroyer. When the smoke clears Abraham Lincoln will be speaking Hindi and drinking mint juleps.

  Penny : Alright, my boss says you have to either order or leave and never come back.

• Howard Wolowitz : Hey, look, it's Dr. Stud.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Doctor what?

  Howard Wolowitz : The blogosphere is a-buzzing with news of you and Leslie Winkle making

  [gibberish noises to imply sexual intercourse] 

  Leonard Hofstadter : Wha... how did it get on the Internet?

  Howard Wolowitz : I put it there.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Well, how did you know about it?

  Raj Koothrappali : A little bird told us. Apparently you were a magnificent beast.

• Leslie : Listen, neither of us are neuroscientists, but we both understand the biochemistry of sex. I mean, dopamine in our brains is released across synapses, causing pleasure. You stick electrodes in a rat's brain, give him an orgasm button, he'll push that thing until he starves to death.

  Leonard : Well, who wouldn't?

  Leslie : Well, the only difference between us and the rat is that you can't stick an electrode in our hypothalamus. That's where you come in.

  Leonard : Yeah, well, I'm just glad to be a part of it. So what happens now?

  Leslie : I don't know about your sex drive, but I'm probably good till New Year's.

• Leonard : I thought you weren't interested in me.

  Leslie : That was before I saw you handling that beautiful piece of wood between your legs.

  Leonard : You mean my cello?

  Leslie : No, I mean the obvious crude double entendre,

• Leslie Winkle : We rehearse on Tuesday's at your place.

  Leonard : Why at my place?

  Leslie Winkle : Yeah, the Department of Energy said our regular space is kind of a hot zone.

• Leslie : The Physics department string quartet needs a new cellist.

  Leonard : What happened to Elliot Wong?

  Leslie : He switched over to high-energy radiation research, had a little mishap, and now the other guys are uncomfortable sitting next to him.