The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Fuzzy Boots Corollary (2007)

Jim Parsons: Sheldon Cooper

Photos 

Quotes 

• Leonard : Hey, what's going on?

  Sheldon : Internet's been down for half an hour.

  Koothrappali : Also, Sheldon may be a robot.

• Howard Wolowitz : [Leonard, Sheldon, Howard & Raj are on their laptops playing an online role playing game]  All right, just a few more feet and...

  [pause] 

  Howard Wolowitz : Here we are gentlemen, the Gates Of Elzebub.

  Sheldon : Good lord!

  Leonard : Don't panic, this is what the last 97 hours have been about.

  Howard Wolowitz : Stay frosty. There's a horde of armed goblins on the other side of that gate guarding the Sword Of Azeroth.

  Leonard : Warriors, unsheathe your weapons. Magic wielders, raise your wands.

  Sheldon : Lock and load.

  Howard Wolowitz : Raj, blow the gates.

  Raj Koothrappali : Blowing the gates.

  [pressing keys] 

  Raj Koothrappali : Control, shift, B.

  [sound of the gates blowing] 

  Raj Koothrappali : Oh my God, so many goblins!

  Howard Wolowitz : Don't just stand there, slash and move! Slash and move!

  Leonard : Stay in formation!

  Howard Wolowitz : Leonard, you've got one on your tail!

  Leonard : That's all right, my tail's prehensile, I'll swat him off!

  Raj Koothrappali : I got him Leonard. Tonight, I spice my meat with goblin blood!

  Leonard : Raj, no, it's a trap! Thay're flanking us!

  Raj Koothrappali : [in a wimpy tone]  Oh, he's got me.

  Howard Wolowitz : Sheldon, he's got Raj, use your sleep spell! Sheldon!

  [changes to an annoyed whisper] 

  Howard Wolowitz : Sheldon!

  Sheldon : I've got the Sword Of Azeroth!

  Leonard : Forget the sword Sheldon, help Raj.

  Sheldon : There is no more Sheldon! I am the sword master!

  Howard Wolowitz : Leonard look out!

  Leonard : Damn it man, we're dying here!

  Sheldon : Goodbye peasents.

  Leonard : The bastard teleported.

  Raj Koothrappali : [looks at Sheldon's screen]  He's selling the sword of Azeroth on eBay.

  Leonard : You betrayed us for money? Who are you?

• Wolowitz : Sheldon, if you were a robot, and I knew and you didn't, would you want me to tell you?

  Sheldon : That depends. When I learn that I'm a robot, will I be able to handle it?

  Wolowitz : Maybe, although the history of science fiction is not on your side.

  Sheldon : Uh, let me ask you this: when I learn that I'm a robot, would I be bound by Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics?

  Koothrappali : You might be bound by them right now.

  Wolowitz : That's true. Have you ever harmed a human being, or, through inaction, allowed a human being to come to harm?

  Sheldon : Of course not.

  Koothrappali : Have you ever harmed yourself or allowed yourself to be harmed except in cases where a human being would've been endangered?

  Sheldon : Well, no.

  Wolowitz : I smell robot.

• Sheldon : Oh, come on, Leonard... This is obviously about Penny

  Leonard : It doesn't matter. The woman's not interested in me. The woman rejected me.

  Sheldon : Okay, look. Ahem. I think that you have as much of a chance of having a sexual relationship with Penny as the Hubble telescope does of discovering at the center of every black hole is a little man with a flashlight searching for a circuit breaker. Nevertheless, I do feel obligated to point out to you that she did not reject you. You did not ask her out.

  Leonard : You're right. I didn't ask her out. I should ask her out.

  Sheldon : No, no, no. That was not my point. My point was, don't buy a cat.

• Leonard : I didn't like the look of the guy that she was with.

  Wolowitz : Because he looks better than you?

  Leonard : Yeah. He was kind of dreamy.

  Sheldon : Well, at least now you can retrieve the black box from the twisted smoldering wreckage that was once your fantasy of dating her and analyze the data so that you don't crash into geek mountain again.

• [Leonard is depressed over seeing Penny with another guy and is handling it by listening to emo music and considering buying a cat. He enters with headphones on singing "Boston" by Augustana, badly] 

  Leonard : 'She said you don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah... '

  Sheldon : Oh, good Lord.

  Leonard : 'She said you don't know me, you don't wear my chaaaiiins, oh yeah... '

  [takes off headphones] 

  Leonard : That's a good song!

  Sheldon : If you're compiling a mix CD for a double suicide.

• Leonard : I'm a perfectly nice guy! There's no reason we couldn't go to the restaurant and have a lovely dinner. Maybe we could go for a walk afterwards, talk about things we have in common: You love pottery? I love pottery! There's a pause-we both know what's happening-I lean in and we kiss; it's a little tentative at first, but then I realize she's kissing me back and she's biting my lower lip, you know? She wants me! This thing is going the distance, we're going to have sex! Oh, God, oh my GOD!

  [Leonard descends into a panic attack] 

  Sheldon : Is the sex starting now?

• Sheldon : Do you really think that your relationship needs will be fulfilled by a genetically altered cat?

  Leonard : Maybe, if it's a cute, cuddly cat.

• Sheldon : There is no more Sheldon, I am the Sword Master!

• [about Leonard dating Penny] 

  Leonard : Oh you know what maybe this isn't such a good idea.

  Sheldon : Oh no, no, no well, no. There's always the possibility that alcohol and poor judgment on her part might lead to a nice romantic evening.

• Sheldon : So? How was your date?

  Leonard : Awesome!

  Sheldon : Score one for liquor and poor judgment.

• Leonard : Can you tell that I'm sweating?

  Sheldon : No, the crescent-shaped stains under your armpits conceal it quite nicely.

• Sheldon : I have noticed that Leslie Winkle recently started shaving her legs. Now given that winter is coming, one can only assume she's signaling sexual availability.

• Sheldon : Oh, I hope that scratching post is for you!

• Sheldon : I'm all sweaty. Anybody want to log on to Second Life? I just had a swimming pool built.

  Wolowitz : No, thank you. I can't stand to look at you or your avatar right now.