The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Fuzzy Boots Corollary (2007)

Johnny Galecki: Leonard Hofstadter

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Leonard : Hey, what's going on?

  Sheldon : Internet's been down for half an hour.

  Koothrappali : Also, Sheldon may be a robot.

• Howard Wolowitz : [Leonard, Sheldon, Howard & Raj are on their laptops playing an online role playing game]  All right, just a few more feet and...

  [pause] 

  Howard Wolowitz : Here we are gentlemen, the Gates Of Elzebub.

  Sheldon : Good lord!

  Leonard : Don't panic, this is what the last 97 hours have been about.

  Howard Wolowitz : Stay frosty. There's a horde of armed goblins on the other side of that gate guarding the Sword Of Azeroth.

  Leonard : Warriors, unsheathe your weapons. Magic wielders, raise your wands.

  Sheldon : Lock and load.

  Howard Wolowitz : Raj, blow the gates.

  Raj Koothrappali : Blowing the gates.

  [pressing keys] 

  Raj Koothrappali : Control, shift, B.

  [sound of the gates blowing] 

  Raj Koothrappali : Oh my God, so many goblins!

  Howard Wolowitz : Don't just stand there, slash and move! Slash and move!

  Leonard : Stay in formation!

  Howard Wolowitz : Leonard, you've got one on your tail!

  Leonard : That's all right, my tail's prehensile, I'll swat him off!

  Raj Koothrappali : I got him Leonard. Tonight, I spice my meat with goblin blood!

  Leonard : Raj, no, it's a trap! Thay're flanking us!

  Raj Koothrappali : [in a wimpy tone]  Oh, he's got me.

  Howard Wolowitz : Sheldon, he's got Raj, use your sleep spell! Sheldon!

  [changes to an annoyed whisper] 

  Howard Wolowitz : Sheldon!

  Sheldon : I've got the Sword Of Azeroth!

  Leonard : Forget the sword Sheldon, help Raj.

  Sheldon : There is no more Sheldon! I am the sword master!

  Howard Wolowitz : Leonard look out!

  Leonard : Damn it man, we're dying here!

  Sheldon : Goodbye peasents.

  Leonard : The bastard teleported.

  Raj Koothrappali : [looks at Sheldon's screen]  He's selling the sword of Azeroth on eBay.

  Leonard : You betrayed us for money? Who are you?

• Sheldon : Oh, come on, Leonard... This is obviously about Penny

  Leonard : It doesn't matter. The woman's not interested in me. The woman rejected me.

  Sheldon : Okay, look. Ahem. I think that you have as much of a chance of having a sexual relationship with Penny as the Hubble telescope does of discovering at the center of every black hole is a little man with a flashlight searching for a circuit breaker. Nevertheless, I do feel obligated to point out to you that she did not reject you. You did not ask her out.

  Leonard : You're right. I didn't ask her out. I should ask her out.

  Sheldon : No, no, no. That was not my point. My point was, don't buy a cat.

• Leonard : I didn't like the look of the guy that she was with.

  Wolowitz : Because he looks better than you?

  Leonard : Yeah. He was kind of dreamy.

  Sheldon : Well, at least now you can retrieve the black box from the twisted smoldering wreckage that was once your fantasy of dating her and analyze the data so that you don't crash into geek mountain again.

• Wolowitz : So, how did it go with Leslie?

  Leonard : We tried kissing but the Earth didn't move. I mean any more than the 383 miles it was gonna move anyway.

• [Leonard hits his head under the table at the restaurant] 

  Penny : Are you OK ?

  Leonard : Yeah, I'm OK... Did you spill ketchup ?

  Penny : No.

  Leonard : I'm not OK!

• [Leonard is depressed over seeing Penny with another guy and is handling it by listening to emo music and considering buying a cat. He enters with headphones on singing "Boston" by Augustana, badly] 

  Leonard : 'She said you don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah... '

  Sheldon : Oh, good Lord.

  Leonard : 'She said you don't know me, you don't wear my chaaaiiins, oh yeah... '

  [takes off headphones] 

  Leonard : That's a good song!

  Sheldon : If you're compiling a mix CD for a double suicide.

• Leonard : I'm a perfectly nice guy! There's no reason we couldn't go to the restaurant and have a lovely dinner. Maybe we could go for a walk afterwards, talk about things we have in common: You love pottery? I love pottery! There's a pause-we both know what's happening-I lean in and we kiss; it's a little tentative at first, but then I realize she's kissing me back and she's biting my lower lip, you know? She wants me! This thing is going the distance, we're going to have sex! Oh, God, oh my GOD!

  [Leonard descends into a panic attack] 

  Sheldon : Is the sex starting now?

• Sheldon : Do you really think that your relationship needs will be fulfilled by a genetically altered cat?

  Leonard : Maybe, if it's a cute, cuddly cat.

• Leonard : I'm fine. Penny's fine. The guy she's kissing is really fine.

  Wolowitz : Kissing? What kind of kissing? Cheeks? Lips? Chase? French?

  Leonard : What is wrong with you?

  Wolowitz : I'm a romantic!

• Penny : Was this supposed to be a date?

  Leonard : This? No. No, of course not, this was just you and me hanging out with a bunch of guys who didn't show up, because of work and a colonoscopy.

  Penny : Okay, I was just checking.

  Leonard : When I take a girl out on a date, and I do, she knows she's been dated. Capital D. Bold face, underline, like Day-ted. I think I might have a little concussion, I'm going to go lay down for a while, good night.

• Wolowitz : There are pitfalls, trust me, I know. When it comes to sexual harassment law I'm bit of a self taught expert.

  Leonard : Look Howard if I were to ask Leslie Winkle out it would just be for dinner. I'm not gonna walk into the lab, ask her to strip naked and dance for me.

  Wolowitz : Oh, then you're probably OK.

• [about Leonard dating Penny] 

  Leonard : Oh you know what maybe this isn't such a good idea.

  Sheldon : Oh no, no, no well, no. There's always the possibility that alcohol and poor judgment on her part might lead to a nice romantic evening.

• Sheldon : So? How was your date?

  Leonard : Awesome!

  Sheldon : Score one for liquor and poor judgment.

• Leonard : Can you tell that I'm sweating?

  Sheldon : No, the crescent-shaped stains under your armpits conceal it quite nicely.

• Leonard : I was thinking more of a bio-social exploration with a neuro-chemical overlay.

  Leslie Winkle : Wait, are you asking me out?

  Leonard : I was going to characterize it as the modification of our colleague/friendship paradigm, with the addition of a date-like component, but we don't need to quibble over terminology.

  Leslie Winkle : What sort of experiment would you propose?

  Leonard : There is a generally accepted pattern in this area. I would pick you up, take you to a restaurant, then we would see a movie, probably a romantic comedy featuring the talents of Hugh Grant or Sandra Bullock.

  Leslie Winkle : Interesting. And would you agree that the primary way we would evaluate either the success or failure of the date would be based on the biochemical reaction during the goodnight kiss?

  Leonard : Heart rate, pheromones, etc. Yes.

  Leslie Winkle : Well, why don't we just stipulate that the date goes well and move to the key variable?

  Leonard : You mean, kiss you now?

  Leslie Winkle : Yes.

  Leonard : Can you define the parameters of the kiss?

  Leslie Winkle : Closed mouth, but romantic. Mint?

  Leonard : Thank you. Shall I count down from three?

  Leslie Winkle : No, I think it needs to be spontaneous.

  [they kiss] 

  Leslie Winkle : What do you think?

  Leonard : You proposed the experiment. I think you should present your findings first.

  Leslie Winkle : Fair enough. On the plus side, it was a good kiss, reasonable technique, no extraneous spittle. On the other hand, no arousal.

  Leonard : None?

  Leslie Winkle : None.

  Leonard : Ah, well, thank you for your time.

  [they shake hands]