Fired Up! (2009)
John Michael Higgins: Coach Keith
Photos
Quotes
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Coach Keith : [seeing the Tigers doing the Fountain of Troy] That's prohibidado. I told them in Spanish, how much clearer could I have been!
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Coach Keith : I'm gonna have to go ahead and ask you both to go ahead and leave right now to leave now.
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Coach Keith : How do you spell 'fired up'?
Cheerleaders : F! U!
Shawn Colfax : Not really...
Nick Brady : Uh-uh.
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Coach Keith : I was born cheering! My mother swears the first thing out of her what's-it was a little pair of baby hands doing spirit fingers!
[laughs]
Coach Keith : That's a joke! But it really happened.
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Coach Keith : Sure, I'll teach you how to do the Fountain of Troy...
[shouting angrily]
Coach Keith : then I'm gonna teach ya how to put make-up on a bear!
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[Nick and Shawn are running through campus naked when Coach Keith approaches them]
Coach Keith : Holt!
Coach Keith : What are you two think you are doing? It's way past curfew.
Nick Brady : We were just...
[Nick and Shawn grab pom poms in front of them to cover up their privates]
Shawn Colfax : Practicing.
Nick Brady : Yeah.
Coach Keith : Naked?
Shawn Colfax : Yeah, we like to do cheers in the nude, so that they really sink in.
Nick Brady : That way our bodies learn them as well as our minds.
[Nick and Shawn laugh]
Coach Keith : That's very crazy of you. I like it! Proceed.
Shawn Colfax : Proceed with what? Running away?
Coach Keith : No, with the cheer you goose!
Nick Brady : Don't you want to wait for another coach? Or a witness?
Coach Keith : [yelling] 5, 6, 7, 8!
[Nick and Shawn start cheering together in the nude]
Nick Brady : Ready?
Shawn Colfax : Ok!
Shawn Colfax : Hey Tigers!
Nick Brady : Yeah!
Shawn Colfax : Hey Tigers!
Nick Brady : Yeah!
Shawn Colfax , Nick Brady : What do we like to eat? Panther meat!
Nick Brady : I said, Hey Tigers!
Shawn Colfax : Yeah!
Nick Brady : Hey Tigers!
Shawn Colfax : Yeah!
Shawn Colfax , Nick Brady : What do we like to do? Defeat!
Shawn Colfax : Dude, your crank shaft!
[Nick covers his penis with his pom poms]
Shawn Colfax , Nick Brady : Orange, Black, and White Unite! Tigers, Tigers, fight fight fight!
Shawn Colfax : Tail pipe!
[Nick covers his butt with his pom poms]
Coach Keith : Your counts are off, your spacing is insane, and moves are sloppier than a kiss from a midshipmen.
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Coach Keith : [speaking of how the dangerous Fountain of Troy move is 'prohibidado'] You can't even say 'Fountain of Troy' at this cheer camp! Go ahead and say it!
Cheerleaders : Fountain of...
Coach Keith : No, stop it - what are you doing? This isn't a game! I'm not playin' around up here!
Diora : Honey...
Coach Keith : ...Just a joke. First week of cheer camp, lighten things up. Have a good time. Everhbody say it now. 'Fountain of Troy.'
Cheerleaders : Fountain of...
Coach Keith : Oh dear Lord! Oh gosh, shut up, shut up!
[dances around angrily]
Coach Keith : Stop it! Stop it! Nobody does Fountain of Troy at this cheer camp!
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Coach Keith : Well well well. If it isn't a pair of wolves in cheer clothing! What part of 'the next time I see your punnim they'll be on the moon' didn't you understand?
Nick Brady : Um, like... the whole thing?
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[Coach Keith introduces his wife to the cheerleaders]
Coach Keith : It is now my absolute pleasure to introduce to you your head counselor and my super-sexy handsome wife, Diora. Let's bring her out here.
[Coach Keith make gestures of fisherman using a pole. Diora arrives, waving her hands. The crowd cheers. Coach Keith kisses Diora on her cheek. Nick and Shawn are shocked to find out the beautiful woman they saw earlier is married to the coach]
Shawn Colfax : What? Did he say "wife"?
Shawn Colfax : No, he couldn't have.
Diora : Welcome, everyone. For the next three weeks, you'll train with me and the other coaches and then compete in a tournament with the top teams going on to the State Finals.
[the crowd cheers]
