- Sam Axe: [about selling stolen diamonds] So who does that kind of thing around here?
- Barry: Only one guy in Miami, really, for something that big. But don't ask me for an introduction. The guy shorted me on some hot rocks a few months back, cost me a client. We had words.
- Sam Axe: Well, give me a name. Mike'll see to it that the guy loses a few clients of his own.
- Barry: The name's Cristo. Like Madonna? The whole one name thing?
- Sam Axe: Like Charo.
- Barry: Sting.
- Sam Axe: Fergie.
- Barry: Pelé.
- Sam Axe: Spiderman.
- Barry: Liberace.
- Sam Axe: ...Crap, I can't think of any more.
- Wayne Ray: [choking Michael] Where'd they go?
- Michael Westen: [whispering] I can't tell you if you keep choking me.
- [first lines]
- Michael Westen: [voice-over] Covert operatives have a hard time dating. Even if you find someone, who doesn't mind that you won't talk about your past, or that you carry a concealed weapon, they usually want more than you're able to give.
- Michael Westen: [voice-over] Even the most careful spy leaves a trail that could get them burned. A patriot making illicit deals for his government looks a lot like a traitor, making black-market sales for his wallet. Somebody upstairs gets the wrong idea, and suddenly you're burned, and out of a job.
- Cristo: I don't know what you're talking about.
- Michael Westen: [sighs] We gotta do this the hard way.
- [Michael digs out Cristo's cell phone and browses through the contact list]
- Michael Westen: [voice-over] Selling stolen goods is all about discretion. You've got to be the kind of person who can keep your mouth shut...
- Michael Westen: "Gerald." He sounds nice.
- Cristo: Wait! What are you doing?
- Michael Westen: Shh, it's ringing.
- Michael Westen: [voice-over] ... the kind of person who never, *ever* shares the numbers in their little black book.
- Michael Westen: [pretending to be out of breath] Hey, Gerald! My name's Paco, I'm a friend of your fence, Cristo. He gave me your number. Man, I'm in some legal trouble, man! Can I crash at your...? Huh. That's rude, he hung up.
- Michael Westen: [voice-over] When you're giving five inches, and a hundred pounds on a well trained opponent, it helps to know the terrain better than he does.
- Michael Westen: [voice-over] A good cover identity is a team effort. If you want to meet someone, it's a good idea to play a little hard to get. Put people between yourself and the target. Make them come to you.
- Michael Westen: [voice-over] Just because someone believes you are who you say you are, doesn't mean he'll do what you want him to do.
- Michael Westen: [voice-over] Clandestine meetings are never fun to arrange. It's a big part of the job for a covert operative, but it's never pleasant... It's not so much the fear of death that bothers you, it's driving to the meet with a bag over your head. Sometimes they wash the bag, sometimes they don't.
- Michael Westen: [voice-over] The thing about security is, that the very things that protect you, can be turned against you, by someone who knows what he's doing. It's tough to compromise a well thought out security system, but making someone think you can compromise it, well, that's much easier. Take surveillance cameras, for example, you can disable one by shooting a laser at it and overloading the light-sensitive chip. Cheap, easy, and exactly the sort of thing a sophisticated criminal gang, with lots of resources, would do. Leave around some tell-tale signs of surveillance like cigarette butts, a forgotten camera lens cap, and the more security there is, the more likely they are to think they've got a very serious problem. Even the security team itself can be an opportunity. The more employees you have, the more you have to worry about.
- Michael Westen: [voice-over] Deliver some vague threats, and a few hundred bucks to a security guard, if he's honest, he'll tell his boss, who then wonders who wasn't so honest. For the cost of a nice dinner, you can get a whole security team canned.
- Michael Westen: [voice-over] One of the dangers of any kind of psychological warfare, is it can be too effective, and send the target into a paranoid tail-spin. That paranoia can be useful... or deadly.
- Michael Westen: [voice-over] The key to good security, is good systems, consistency. But those very systems make you predictable. Where will you take your valuables? A bank you trust. How are you going to get there? With armed men in a big SUV. When will you go? When the bank is least crowded. All good procedure; all one hundred percent predictable.
- Michael Westen: [voice-over] If you know someone's going to be at a bank at a particular time, it's not hard to make it look like they're robbing the bank. Shoot out a few video security cameras. Block off the street with a stolen car, like they're preparing an escape route. Fire up a spark-gap transmitter to kill the security radios at the bank, and they'll really look like they know what they're doing.
- Sam Axe: Mixing romance and work is a bad idea. I mean Veronica, just the other day, she asked me if bullets came in different sizes. Isn't that the cutest thing you've ever heard?
- Fiona Glenanne: Actually, I have a little errand to run first. It'll only take a second.
- Michael Westen: What will?
- Fiona Glenanne: [cheerfully] Bagging a bail-jumper. I thought it would be fun!
- Fiona Glenanne: [pulling out a mugshot] Here's who we're looking for: Thomas McKee. I got a tip about an hour ago that he's staying at the Victor.
- Michael Westen: Fi, I got a feeling this guy's not gonna survive on the lam.
- [Michael points to a car parked on the street, with the license plate "TOMCKEE"]
- Michael Westen: You've been talking to Fi.
- Sam Axe: If by "talking" to Fi, you mean "listening" to Fi, yeah.
- Fiona Glenanne: I know a few Iranians who are coming into town.
- Michael Westen: Ooh, let's avoid people who use "Michael Westen" and "jihad" in the same sentence.
- Michael Westen: [after delivering a series of blows to Wayne, who shrugs them off] Ohhhhhhhhh, damn...
- Michael Westen: You're gonna take point on this deal.
- Sam Axe: [sighs heavily] That means I gotta shave and put on a suit!
- Lawrence Henderson: Listen, can I - can I get you something to drink? Some twenty-year-old single-malt?
- Sam Axe: [clearly fighting it] Thanks, but no. I'm... I'm not a drinker.
- [Sam gazes at the bottle in barely-concealed despair]
- Michael Westen: We'll talk later. My Libyan just showed up.
- Sam Axe: Fine, but from now on, no cover IDs that involve turning down twenty-year-old Scotch!
- Fiona Glenanne: Consider it an "I'm sorry I brained you with a snowglobe" gift.
- Wayne Ray: Why'd you wait to turn him in?
- Fiona Glenanne: He was gonna pay us off, but his check bounced.
- Wayne Ray: [Chuckling] You're all heart, lady.
- Phillip Cowan: [Over the phone] You want to tell me what the head of the Libyan secret police is doing sending me a fruit basket? I've got the FBI on my front lawn!
- Michael Westen: Yeah? Well, welcome to my world.
- Michael Westen: Can we do it without the head bag? I hate the head bag.
- Anwar: So... this information you have? We are interested.
- Michael Westen: And Phillip Cowan?
- Anwar: Arrangements are being made.
- Michael Westen: [hands over a slip of paper] That should give you what you need to find the team that blew up your gas supply depot. Don't be gentle on them. They hurt a lot of innocent people.
- Anwar: [wryly] The security services in my country are not known for being gentle. Michael, if you ever want a job, real work, let us know.
- Michael Westen: I'm flattered, but I've got somewhere else to be.
- Michael Westen: You checked out my situation?
- Anwar: Yes, your own people turned on you. So what? Now you're working for us? Why should I believe this?
- Michael Westen: Your government would like to know who attacked your gas supply depot in Ghadames in 2002. I can supply that information.
- Anwar: And why would you do this for us?
- Michael Westen: The U.S. and Libya have mutual enemies. This would be a win for everyone - well, everyone except the guys who attacked the gas depot.
- Anwar: Why don't I just make you tell me and then kill you?
- Michael Westen: You could do that. The information might or might not check out. Torture is unreliable - as you know - and then you'd have to deal with Fiona, who put me in touch with you in the first place. More trouble than it's worth, trust me.
- Sam Axe: [meeting Barry in the Carlito] Hey, there he is. You work your magic?
- Barry: Magic was made. You've got something for me?
- [Sam hands over a diamond tennis bracelet]
- Sam Axe: Mike wanted you to know that was compliments of Cristo.
- Barry: Ooh...
- Sam Axe: Kiko! Hit me, Bloody Mary.
- Barry: In that case, Lawrence has accounts with five banks in the Miami area. The only one that has a safe deposit operation is Dade Trust downtown.
- Sam Axe: Any good?
- Barry: You kidding? Best in Miami. If he's moving that brooch, he'll take it there.
- Sam Axe: [gets his drink] Thank you. So what else can you tell me about Dade Trust?
- Barry: You buying lunch?
- Sam Axe: Hey, you're the money launderer, for Christ's sake, why do I gotta buy lunch?
- Anwar: All right, what do you want?
- Michael Westen: I'm trying to get in touch with the man who burned me, N.S.A. officer Phillip Cowan. I just need you to mention him as a friend when you know the Americans are listening.
- Anwar: A friend? And say what?
- Michael Westen: I don't know. Have the head of your secret service send him a fruit basket. Be creative. He'll want to know what's going on, and in no time, he'll figure out it's me.