- Angus MacGyver: Relax. This is not our first rodeo.
- Russ Taylor: Why is it always a rodeo? If this were an actual rodeo, it would be my first. You know, I've never actually been to a rodeo.
- Angus MacGyver: Sir Isaac Newton's law of inertia states that an object in motion will stay in motion unless acted upon by an unbalanced force. Meaning your life can be going one way and at any moment, something can happen to bounce you in a new direction. Like if you lose your job as an elite covert operative in a government task force, you can end up, well, here.
- Russ Taylor: [seeing Mac's home] Oh, I like it. Very nervous-breakdown chic. Very now.
- Angus MacGyver: I don't get a whole lot of visitors.
- Desi Nguyen: You said she was retired.
- Russ Taylor: Well, technically, she wouldn't take my calls.
- Matty Webber: No one takes your calls.
- Angus MacGyver: Nitrous oxide not only reduces the pain, but it lowers inhibitions. And the reason that secrets are so hard to keep is that people desperately want to tell them.
- Martin Bishop: It's almost time. The pillars of society will fall. We're going to burn it all to the ground. The thing is, being willing is not enough. You must do.
- Russ Taylor: Well done. We saved the city. Ooh, what is this-uh, is this warm magical euphoria I'm feeling? Is this what, uh, is this doing good feels like?