Psych (TV Series)
65 Million Years Off (2007)
James Roday Rodriguez: Shawn Spencer
Photos
Quotes
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Shawn Spencer : [looking at a field of dirt mounds] Oh, look at that. It's like that movie, the one with, uh... Sigourney Weaver.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : "Aliens"?
Shawn Spencer : No.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : "Alien"?
Shawn Spencer : No!
Burton 'Gus' Guster : "Alien: Resurrection"?
Shawn Spencer : Gus, the one with the holes and Shia LaBeouf.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : They had holes in Shia LaBeouf?
Shawn Spencer : The holes were in the ground, dude. Like that.
[gestures toward the mounds]
Shawn Spencer : And Jon Voight was walking around all crazy.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Oh! "Anaconda".
Shawn Spencer : [sighs] Man, never mind.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : "Gorillas in the Mist"? "Death and the Maiden"?
Shawn Spencer : No.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : "Half-Moon Street"?
Shawn Spencer : Just let it go.
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Burton 'Gus' Guster : You almost closed down our agency with that little act of yours Shawn.
Shawn Spencer : Me? You're the one spending all your extra time at your little side project.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : You mean my real job? Soon to be my only job?
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Juliet O'Hara : Detective Lassiter is literally on fire.
Shawn Spencer : What kind of fire are we talking about? Michael Jackson in the Pepsi commercial fire or misusing the word "literally" fire?
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Shawn Spencer : Just because I take Gus' giant dinosaur head down to a dead body, does not make me a nut job.
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Carlton Lassiter : [to Shawn, while walking away] Come on, we'll show you how real cops do it.
Juliet O'Hara : No comeback? Shawn, that's slightly embarrassing.
[Juliet leaves]
Shawn Spencer : [half-heartedly] Where'd you get that su... suit, the toilet store?
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Shawn Spencer : You're mad.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : No, I'm not mad. I'm happy. I'm thrilled. I love looking like an idiot.
Shawn Spencer : Well, that explains your shoes.
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Shawn Spencer : Doodles are the window to the soul, Gus. Or maybe that's the epiglottis. Where's the uvula?
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Shawn Spencer : [about Walker] Why didn't he just lease the land?
Burton 'Gus' Guster : I don't get it.
Shawn Spencer : [sits up] I've got an idea. Let's ask him.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : What? We're pretty sure we just found a cold-blooded killer and you want to go to his house and ask him about it?
Shawn Spencer : We can ask nicely.
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Henry Spencer : You still haven't answered the question of why he dug all those holes around the house.
Shawn Spencer : Dad, that's the finale. That's why I don't invite you to these things.
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Karen Vick : Mr. Spencer, I'm surprised you didn't take the Segway.
Shawn Spencer : She did know about that.
Karen Vick : O'Hara just told me.
Shawn Spencer : Traitor!
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Shawn Spencer : [flashlight is shown in Shawn's face] Ahh, Gus, that thing is brighter than the sun! I think you just gave me glaucoma!
Burton 'Gus' Guster : You can't give someone glaucoma.
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Shawn Spencer : I'm not sure how I feel about the police being so proactive.
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Shawn Spencer : I can play Six Degrees of Dinosaur with you right now. You've never been in a movie with Kevin Bacon or Dilaposaurus, have you?
Burton 'Gus' Guster : How about you play Six Degrees of Kiss My Ass?
Shawn Spencer : First of all, that sounds like a totally disturbing game.
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Shawn Spencer : [about Chief Vick] She hasn't called in a month. Is she still mad about me requisitioning the Segway?
Juliet O'Hara : You did that?
[pause]
Shawn Spencer : No.
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Henry Spencer : Shawn, what are you doing?
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Yeah, what are we doing, Shawn?
Shawn Spencer : I need to borrow some tools.
Henry Spencer : What kind of tools?
Shawn Spencer : Digging tools.
Henry Spencer : Are you still on the dinosaur thing?
Burton 'Gus' Guster : We're still on the dinosaur thing?
Shawn Spencer : What, is there an echo in here?
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Shawn Spencer : You think I'm afraid of a little competition?
Burton 'Gus' Guster : I know you're afraid of competition. Why else would you have purposefully broken the "Battlezone" at Pizza Royale?
Shawn Spencer : Dude, you beat me once. And only because you first used the eyepiece and *then* revealed you had pinkeye.
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Shawn Spencer : [to Karen] It's a farm, with a farmer. An old farmer. Farmer...Shooty Pants. That's a nickname. I don't think that's his actual handle.
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Juliet O'Hara : The short answer is, we just haven't really needed any outside help.
Shawn Spencer : Well, what's the long answer. I mean, throw a but in there, and add something about a dream where you and I got thrown out of a mattress showroom.
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Shawn Spencer : Completely stumped, hmm?
Karen Vick : You getting something Mr. Spencer?
Shawn Spencer : Yes, yes I am.
[takes pad and pen from Lassiter and starts to draw]
Carlton Lassiter : No no no no no hang on! I I've got it. The wound on the head was caused by the edge of a boat. When he fell in the water unconscious and the wounds in the back were caused by a large industrial crab trap. Or a whale, definitely could have been a whale. Lost from his pod, separated. Migrating north or south, sees our man already dead floating up on the surface, thinks it's a seal and then whale.
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Shawn Spencer : Dude, look at the road when you're driving.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : I'm staying down for safety.
Shawn Spencer : He was shooting directly into the air, Gus.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Bullets go up, they have to come down.
Shawn Spencer : Do you know what the trajectory would have to be for that to happen.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Don't you dare argue physics with me! Not while were in the process of getting killed!
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Burton 'Gus' Guster : Didn't you see the "Trespassers will be shot" sign?
Shawn Spencer : Look at that, it totally said that. My bad.
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Burton 'Gus' Guster : No Lennie!
Shawn Spencer : Gus, you know how long I've been waiting to pull out my Lennie?
Burton 'Gus' Guster : No, Shawn, we do the National Paleontology Society thing, as agreed, and we keep it very, very simple.
Shawn Spencer : [sighs] It's not as much fun as whipping out my Lennie.
