Life Blood (2009 Video) User Reviews

Drivel

[neil-476 · 4/10 · 14 July 2013]

Two beautiful lesbian best friends are fleeing down a deserted road (one of them having murdered a Hollywood star) when God arrives (in the persona of another hot lesbian), does away with the murdering one and appoints the other one - the one who has been snivelling "I don't understand!" since the film started - to be an angel. After reconstituting the bad lesbian in response to requests from the good lesbian, God sets them off 40 years later, at which point they are now vampires, and the bad one kills lots of people and they end up holed up in a store in the desert with a tubby shop assistant while a midget deputy pursues them.

I think you will agree from the synopsis that this dog's breakfast of a movie could never be anything other than utterly dreadful, and so it proves to be. The female leads - hotties both - remain resolutely clothed throughout, thus doing away with any conceivable reason for watching this twaddle.

Better titled "Lifeless Blood (or Blond)"...

[MrGKB · 3/10 · 12 August 2013]

...this wretched mess from the mind of a faux-auteur (wrote, directed, and produced---wow, no one to blame but himself!) reportedly cost a million bucks, but one can only wonder where all the money went. Up various noses, no doubt. This is trash with a capital T, kiddies, and you best believe it if you don't want to slice an utterly wasted hour- and-a-half out of your life. This baby is a fast-forward special all the way, with little to redeem it beyond bimbos in their underwear and an unexpectedly hilarious camel-toe.

Terrible acting from two vacuous models who should never be allowed near a script again in their lives, a horrendously bad script replete with turgid, pointless dialog and a plot that only a nerd on the cusp of pubescence could enjoy, pedestrian camera-work, and production values so low that you really, really have to wonder, once again, where the heck all that money went. Scout "The Runaways" Taylor-Compton narrowly avoids derailing her career with a mercifully brief cameo (and a laughably bad old-age reprise), while Charles "Cherry, Harry & Raquel" Napier puts a sad, sorry end to his lengthy B-movie career (one can only hope he never had to actually watch this pitiable thing). Patrick "Sandlot" Renna proves that being the chubby kid doesn't much lead to stardom, Justin "Little Miss Sunshine" Shilton takes a badly-directed paycheck, as do a terribly miscast Danny "Seinfeld" Woodburn and an even more egregiously-cast Angela "I shouldn't be allowed near a script, either" Lindvall. Oh, did I forget the names of the two leads? Given the quality of their performances, I'm not surprised. Look it up yourself; I was too bored by them to give them the satisfaction.

Another strike against the video buyer of my local library system, this is a movie only an Ed Wood could be proud of, and I think even Ed might raise an eyebrow or two at this nonsense.

I gave it a point for Charles Napier's sake, one for Patrick Renna's desperation, and one for the camel-toe out of left field. Definitely didn't see that one coming. If you're smart, you won't even bother looking.

grindhouse style

[trashgang · 4/10 · 27 July 2010]

Well, this flick was over before I knew it so that means I really enjoyed it. I would like to refer Bitchslap which is a bit in the same line. But here we have real scene's and not all green keys. The movie worked for me, you don't have to take it that seriously, as I watched the DVD cover you already knew they wanted to make an exploitation movie. I must say that it worked, the storyline is of course unbelievable but don't bother that. Watch it as it goes and see how two British actresses deliver the goods. Oh yes, Scout Taylor-Compton is in it but not that she has a main lead. She's maybe for 10 minutes into the movie. But indeed, it's a man's movie, with nudity from new star Angela Lindvall and a lot of nudity at a party but the perverts out there will be disappointed that Sophie Monk doesn't show anything. She's also a coming star and appears a lot in horrors and surely she's used to go full undressed like in The Hills Run Red but here she's just a sexy chick wearing almost nothing. Anya Lahiri, the other Brit doesn't show anything at all, and that's a bit a let down for many 'cause those old 70's flicks, the main lead went naked. But hey, there is blood running and that's the important part isn't it? It never becomes gory or to messy but if you are into grindhouse go watch it.

Five stars just for an original plot.

[winchester666 · 8 November 2009]

This film is an example of how independent film is unafraid to take an original and interesting plot and put it to use.

Notice, I never said, good use? Well that's because here it wasn't put to good use.

Rhea and Brooke are two lesbians on their way, somewhere which is never explained, after an incident at a swinging sixties new years eve party. The incident is committed by Brooke and is something that leaves Rhea on a heightened edge of panic. The lord comes down to Rhea and informs her she is a chosen one, an angel, sent to protect the world from true evil, by killing to survive.

There is the original plot. And the film gets dumber and dumber after that. The plot is weakened to the point of nonexistance as the film progresses with the murders on screen unimpressive and bland.

There is nothing to keep the viewer guessing or on the edge of their seat as the ending is so obvious from the second they transform that you could beat someone over the head with it.

The worst part is you couldn't care less what happens to either character. Despite Anya and Sophie's mediocre performances the film still stalls at boring and a snoozefest to those watching.

I would not recommend watching this film unless you are a fan of any of the actor's involved as it is a very horrible film. I also know fans of actors are willing to sit through much worse to see their favorite stars on screen. This is one of those films! Very disappointing film.

This movie is rated "R". It's about lesbian vampires. And they don't get naked?

[MBunge · 2/10 · 24 November 2011]

After watching this awe inspiringly wretched thing, I am convinced that if I asked filmmaker Ron Carlson to write "The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog", what he'd produce would be "The quick brown fox, the quick brown fox, the quick brown fox, apple 37 Zanzibar". That's how poorly written Life Blood is, it makes me suspect Carlson either has some sort of learning disability or suffered a kind of brain damage, either through an industrial accident or spending a little too much time in auto-erotic asphyxiation. From concept to plot to dialog, your average six year old could come up with a more logical and entertaining story that this. It's so bad that it's one of those films where you literally don't understand how anyone read the script and then agreed to be in it. I mean, how to you get past the part about lesbian vampires gestating for 40 years under the desert, only to emerge in their underwear and start walking down the highway without going "Wait…what?"

Brooke and Rhea (Sophie Monk and Anya Lahiri) are two lovers fleeing a party where Brooke killed a guy, only for God (Angela Lindvall) to strike down Brooke and offer to turn Rhea into a vampire. Brooke agrees, but only if God also turns Brooke into a bloodsucker. 4 decades later, they emerge from their cocoons and while Rhea thinks of themselves as avenging angels who are only supposed to go after evil people, Brooke just wants to take a bite out of anyone who gets in her way. After Brooke chomps a good samaritan and a hitchhiker, the pair flee the rising sun and take refuge in a roadside convenience store. Brooke hassles the hapless clerk until she and Rhea get into a fight and Brooke kills her. Brooke then goes on a killing spree that involves a vacationing family and the local sheriff's office before God in a see-thru top returns and brings Rhea back to life for a final showdown.

Let me get the one good thing about Life Blood out of the way. Patrick Renna as the hapless convenience store clerk is friggin' amazing. His character is smarter and more believable, his dialog is genuinely funny and everything about his performance is 100 times better than anything else in the film. Renna has got to be ad libbing at least 98% of his role and doing a great job of it. Compared to the rest of the cast, it's like Renna's doing Hamlet to put Laurence Olivier to shame. If the other actors were given the same freedom as Renna, their work here means they should never, ever be allowed to ad lib again. There's no other explanation for how this one actor and one supporting character could be light years beyond everything else in the production.

This is a very low budget flick, the kind when there's a scene on a supposedly deserted stretch of highway, you can clearly see traffic moving through the background of the shot. For cheap cinema, however, this looks perfectly fine. The problem here isn't a lack of money. It's a total lack of intelligence and aptitude.

I could criticize practically every single second of Life Blood that doesn't involve Patrick Renna, but I'll limit myself to two examples in the interest of brevity. After Sophie's first two kills, the girls drive off in the pickup truck of one of her victims. The truck is hauling one of those rounded silver campers, the kind that used to be popular before RVs became more common. When dawn comes, the vampires fear the sun and stop at the convenience store, run in and try and block out the light. Why didn't they just go in the camper? It has smaller, easier to cover windows. It's right there behind the truck. If the camper is not there for them to hide in…what is it there for?!?! It doesn't serve any other purpose and isn't even mentioned by any of the characters. It may seem like a niggling little detail, but any viewer with an IQ above 50 is going to get to this section of the film and ask "Why aren't they going in the camper?"

The other example is that a sheriff's deputy is played by Danny Woodburn. You may not recognize the name, but he's the little person who played Mickey on Seinfeld. Now, even though we live in a politically correct world, little people do not get to be sheriff's deputies just like 7 foot tall guys do no get to serve on submarines. There are physical limitations that prevent it. If you're going to cast a little person as a member of law enforcement, there needs to be a reason for it, even if it's just as a joke, and there is no joke or any other reason for it here. Woodburn could have switched roles with any other member of the cast, male or female, and it would have made more sense.

Life Blood is horrendous storytelling. The fact that neither Sophie Monk nor Anya Lahiri get naked, even though they're playing lesbian vampires in an R rated horror movie, defies rationalization. Anyone who watches this and claims to enjoy it should be held 24 hours for psychiatric evaluation.

Lesbian couple turn angels. One good one bad. Lord help us!

[heartspill · 1/10 · 7 November 2009]

What a waste of time.I watched about 30 min of this poor film before I had to turn it off. Even the two hot leads did not make me linger on..

The script is so poor and contains so much repetition that I'm wondering if the writer just made use of the copy/paste function a bit too often while he was watching lesbian soft porn on the internet instead of coming up with a better story line. Lines like "What is happening?" or "I don't know what is happening" occur numerous times during the first 30 min of the movie, mostly uttered in blocks of 4 to 5 in a row. I wished somebody would throw her the script (at her head), that might have given her an insight. But then again..

Not only do the two lead characters make out frequently but also does god, appearing as a female, kiss one of the girls. I mean, WTF? Just don't bother watching it. It really, really isn't worth it.

Buffy the Holy Vampire Avenger

[alansmithee04 · 1/10 · 26 March 2010]

This "film" was made for people who were severely, nay - obsessively, disappointed that there wasn't more lesbianism on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." I mean, why else would anyone make this half-hearted attempt at a movie? The plot, as divined from the back of the Burger King bag upon which it was scrawled, involves God (!) coming down to earth to select an earthly avenger. (Seems people didn't learn from that whole 40 day flood thing and she's cheesed off again.) God's plan for the chastisement of humanity? Simple - make a randomly selected lesbian into an unstoppable vampire killing machine and send her out to smite the wicked.

Seriously.

Yes, that's the best plan an omniscient, omnipresent and omni-benevolent Deity could come up with - a plot that would have been rejected by the pea-brained corporate cretins who run cable TV. And SHE created US? And the world and everything in it? AND She screws even *that* up, if you can believe it. When her chosen earthly avatar pleads for the life of her lover, who also happens to be a psychopathic killer, God takes pity and turns her, too, into an unstoppable vampire.

Did I say 'omniscient?' Sorry. I meant 'dumb as a bag of hammers.' All that is just the set up for the ultimate battle between the scantily clad lesbians of good and evil. That makes it sound a lot more interesting than it is, since there wasn't nearly enough budget for an apocalyptic showdown. In fact, there was barely enough for a minor skirmish between the forces of nice and mean. The only upside to this apocalyptic train wreck is that the evil vampire lesbian gets to kill as annoying a bunch of bit players, extras and has-beens as has ever been assembled.

Certainly not enough to build a movie around, nu? But that's the real secret of "Murder World." It isn't really a movie. "Murder World" is poorly made masturbation material for lonely vampire-obsessed comic book collecting fan-boys. Everyone else - feel free to avoid this sticky mess like you would one of the Ten Plagues of Egypt.

should have called this film

[JoeB131 · 1/10 · 23 May 2010]

Turdblossom. Would have made as much sense as "Pearblossom", the working title.

The only thing I can take from the "good" reviews is once again, people involved in the "production" are writing them to give the thing positive buzz... sad, really.

The dreadful plot is that a couple of lesbians are at a New Years Eve Party in 1969 (or maybe it's 1968, they say both) when one of them kills an actor for no apparent reason and they drive off into the desert for no apparent reason, only to be turned into Vampires by God (who for some reason is a chick in a see-through blouse.) God informs one of them that there mission is to kill evil people, but, blah, blah, blah, who cares.

What is side splittingly funny are the implausibilities in this film. Such as the daughter of a couple of tourists being locked in her parent's SUV for the whole film. (Sorry, cars don't work like that. YOu have to be able to get out, the locks are for keeping people from getting in!) Or the rural sheriff's department that hires a midget deputy. (This guy has been in a bunch of horror films over the years, so I guess they hired him because you've heard of him, maybe?) But the capper is the incomprehensible dialog. Like the writer was too busy thinking about girl-on-girl action to actually have the girls say something intelligent when their tongues weren't shoved down each other's throats...

It's amazing this didn't kill careers!

[sussmanbern · 2/10 · 8 August 2017]

LIFE BLOOD is a godawful movie. It's about lesbians without being titilating, it's about vampires without being scary, it's about crime without being suspenseful. The only redeeming thing about it is that it will make you feel good because you had nothing to do with the making of this stinker and none of it can be blamed on you. Two women involved in a crime are killed on the highway on New Year's Eve, in a very low-ticket Hollywood miracle God (in the person of an actress who otherwise plays a waitress later in this flick) brings them back to life on their promise to kill bad guys for her ... and also because they allow her to get to take indecent liberties with them! Next thing you know, they wake up forty years later ... as vampires - a small detail they have to discover for themselves rather awkwardly, and with the usual Hollywood vampire limitations of being helpless during daytime and so forth. In the course of pursuing their target bad guys they pause to kill a few more innocent people. Some how I think God - or a decent screenwriter - would have worked things out a bit differently. Sit through this and you'll appreciate well-written films so much more.

Life Blood

[Scarecrow-88 · 4/10 · 18 June 2010]

After a party goes horribly wrong when model Brooke(Sophie Monk)stabs a Hollywood star, Warren(Justin Shilton)in the chest 87 times(!)with a hair pin when it appeared he was on the verge of sodomizing a fan of his(Scout-Taylor Compton in a cameo appearance), she and her lover, Rhea(the incredibly beautiful Anya Lahiri)are on the lam driving through the desert. God, in shape of a gorgeous woman(Angela Lindvall), gives Rhea eternal life and kills Brooke for her sins. Rhea begs God to return Brooke to her, and in doing so may've committed a mistake which will come back to haunt her. As vampires, with a thirst for blood, Rhea understands control while Brooke enjoys the powers and abilities equipped to her a little too much. Rhea is God's chosen while Brooke begins a murder spree, the two holing up in a service station as the sun comes up(sun does harm them). Dan(Patrick Renna), the station clerk, worries, obviously, for his life as Brooke preys on customers(and local police)who come across her path. When Brooke even attacks Rhea who has tried to talk sense into her about attacking innocent people instead of the evil men who walk the earth(as God intended), there seems to be no stopping her reign of terror. But, God is always present for Rhea and it's only a matter of time before Brooke finally goes too far..

Barely any plot to speak of, with sexy Sophie Monk pretty much killing the entire cast..that is when she isn't bickering with Lahiri over controlling her violent urges, and desiring to kill anyone in her sight. More of an oddball vampire comedy. Not sure what the hell was up with the whole plot concerning God, but those moments where Lindval and Lahiri kiss didn't bother me in the least. Speaking of lesbian kissing, Monk and Lahiri share numerous smooches over the running time, but their differing feelings on the powers granted them(and how to use them)keeps them at odds with each other. I first saw Monk in THE HILLS RUN RED and she is a striking woman, I get weak at the knees when she appears on screen, and she seems like the perfect choice for a dangerous vamp. Monk seems to enjoy herself, and as a vampire she has an ability to be both alluring and threatening at the same time. Not quite as violent as I was expecting, Monk doesn't feed as much as you'd think, more or less using a variety of weapons to eliminate humans who anger her. I must admit that I was a little disappointed in LIFE BLOOD, expecting a more focused lesbian vampire film, but the plot is all over the place, an emphasis on comedy and weird developments(this is certainly a different method for producing vampires). Still, when you have such lovelies as Monk and Lahiri as the leads, the movie can't be all bad. With small actor Danny Woodburn as a deputy and Charles Napier as Sheriff Tillman, two of many who have the misfortune of crossing Monk during the film.

It is up to us to rid the world of these people.

[lastliberal · 4/10 · 10 July 2010]

Wow! Brooke (Sophie Monk) just killed a man and is drenched in blood. It's New Year's Eve 1960. After Brooke is whisked to Heaven or Hell, her girlfriend (Anya Lahiri) is visited by God (Angela Lindvall), who appears in a gauzy dress that shows all. This isn't any God I learned about in Sunday School! God has a mission for Rhea, and she reappears 40 years later as a vampire to rid the World of evil. She asks for Brooke to help her, and God relents even thought She thinks it's a bad idea.

Interesting premise.

Brooke is evil, as expected, and things do not go well for Rhea.

It's not difficult to watch and listen to Sophie Monk' husky voice for 85 minutes, but things really didn't make a whole lot of sense.

Awesome movie!

[quintias · 9/10 · 9 November 2009]

The film follows a beautiful young woman who's been selected by the creator of the universe to lead a life of greater purpose. She is instructed to devour evil, and thereby gain eternal life. After pleading for her misguided friends life, the creator grants both the woman and her friend eternal life who awake 40 years later, in 2008 on New Years Eve as vampires.

With dawn approaching the two hold up in "Murder World", a gas station off of Pearblossom Highway and leave the gas station littered with bodies.

A must see if you're into gore, blood, nakedness and smoking hot lesbian vampires!

Sophie Monk is excellent!

[Michael_Takes · 6/10 · 27 July 2010]

The first half of this movie is a bit of a struggle to get through. It drags and the storyline is a pointless way to get to introduce the characters. Surely the writer could have figured out another way to introduce vampires... but I guess it is original.

The second half of the movie is really cool and fun, it has a grindhouse feel to it. The director shows his skill at action scenes and Sophie Monk is incredible, displaying perfect delivery of dark humour, cool dialogue and menace - and sexy as hell shooting a gun. The old sexist sheriff and the fat Murder World clerk are hilarious! Overall, the story is pretty good, especially if you ignore the first half of the movie. Some poor editing makes some scenes a little confusing. The lesbian element to the story line is pointless, just titillation to get us to watch in the first place. And every time I saw 'God' I wanted to look away.

Overall I give the movie a 6 (3 for the first half and a 9 for the second half).

Sucking

[kosmasp · 5/10 · 3 December 2019]

Blood and all that. Although I reckon some would argue sucking differently. And there is no wrong or right when it comes to taste. You have two women playing the leads which might come off as a dream and a nightmare for male viewers. There is quite some bite behind them and they do have different personalities. Whether you will like where this is going will be up to you.

The movie is nicely done and more than decent. If you like your horror movies to be low budget and low key but still brutal, you could do worse

This is different

[TdSmth5 · 18 September 2011]

A blonde model, Brooke, and her good-natured brunette English girlfriend, Rhea, are at a New Years party in 1969. When an arrogant actor at the party apparently abuses a young fan, Brooke kills him brutally. As the two girls escape in a car on a desert road, Brooke runs over a rat or some creature. Now both girls flip out. She stops the car and Rhea has a breakdown. A small sandstorm appears and wipes out Brooke leaving only her clothes behind. Out of the sandstorm walks a masculine looking woman. It's god. God has a mission for Rhea- to fight evil. As a result she will gain immortality. But Brooke will be her challenge, she doesn't have a good heart.

40 years later they are resurrected at the same spot. A driver stops for a hitchhiker nearby and the two girls catch up. Brooke has an insatiable hunger for blood and devours the two much to the protests of Rhea. They escape in the car to a gas station where they try to hide from the rising sun. There, a poor attendant has to witness these two girls arguing. Brooke can't control her hunger and wants the attendant. Rhea wants to fulfill her mission since she is god's warrior. Somehow Brooke manages to kill Rhea. Other patrons show up, the police show up, but they are no match for Brooke. Until god reappears.

Life Blood sure has an interesting premise- vampires as avenging angels for god. However in this movie we don't get to see a lot of that. It's just about the two girls. And Rhea's challenge of dealing with Brooke. The cops and the store patrons are a Hollywood-correct diverse bunch of very silly people.

Despite the low budget, strange story, this movie is very watchable thanks to some nudity at the beginning, lots of making-out between the girls, and the excellent acting of the two leads. It could have been a disaster of a movie but the entire cast takes it seriously and they make it work. The script has some signs of intelligence. The arrogant actor gives an appropriate speech about society letting him get away with anything because he is a star, and he sure is going to test the limits of that submission by society. God also gives an interesting speech but it's as if a limited budget forced the filmmakers to go off course and tell a very limited story.

LOW BUDGET KILLS GOOD IDEA

[nogodnomasters · 5/10 · 28 April 2018]

Brooke (Sophie Monk) and Rhea ( Anya Lahiri) are models at a New Year's party in 1969. Brooke kills a guy by stabbing him a mere 87 times with a knitting needle (?). They take off and while in the desert, the goddess transforms them (after 40 years in the ground) into vampires who are supposed to rid the world of evil people. Brooke has other ideas.

The idea is interesting, but the execution is low budget as too much of the action takes place in a desert convenience store. Sophie Monk is always good eye candy.

F-bomb, girls making out, nudity (background party girls, not Sophie)

Boring horror thriller.

[poolandrews · 3/10 · 28 May 2011]

Pearblossom starts on New Year's Eve 1968 as two friends Brooke Ancnel (Sophie Monk) & Rhea Cohen (Anya Lahiri) party the year away at a big Hollywood producer's house, there Brooke walks in on actor Warren James (Justin Shilton) trying to rape a girl & after a brief argument stabs him to death. Driving down the Pearblossom highway with her friend Rhea a cold calculating Brooke admits to what she did but show's little remorse, while out in the lonely dessert God (Angel Lindvall) decides to turn Rhea into an immortal angel in order to walk the Earth & fight evil. Rhea manages to get Brooke brought back from the dead too some forty years later, however Brooke is as evil & selfish as she had always been & uses her new found powers to kill anyone she likes with no regard to why she has been brought back. Realising what Brooke is Rhea has to stop her...

Also known under the title Life Blood this supernatural horror thriller was written, produced & directed by Ron Carlson & really isn't that good, in fact I'd say it was a pretty bad film. The script is all over the place, it has vague religious & supernatural themes that go nowhere along with two central character's who just don't work. For a start Brooke & Rhea seem like such different people with the exact opposite values that I wondered why they were best friends in the first place, then the one dimensional aspect of them with Brooke being evil & rhea being good with no middle ground makes for an empty film with no conflict or or soul searching or character development. Pearblossom plays out exactly like you think it will, no-one develops or changes & the plot about immortal Vampire killing women is nowhere near as cool as it should have been. In fact the majority of the film takes place out in the dessert & in a gas station store, there's not much scope there for variety & by the time the 80 odd minutes are up that it takes to watch Pearblossom you will know what I mean. Even at just over 80 odd minutes Pearlblossom drags, offered little to maintain my interest & doesn't so much end as just stops.

The two main leading ladies are pretty hot, especially the blonde one their character's are dull & lifeless. The entire second half of the film seems geared towards getting Brooke into situations where she can pose & look threatening, neither of them offer any nudity. There's a couple of gory moments, a guy is stabbed in the throat, someones throat is slit with a knife, a few people are shot & a dead animal is seen after it has been run over. The dusty dessert locations get repetitive after a while & there's little visual variety here.

With a supposed budget of about $1,000,000 the production values are alright but forgettable, the acting is alright with veteran actor Charles Napier playing the local sheriff.

Pearblossom is a dull supernatural horror thriller with a loose script & forgettable plot that didn't impress or entertain me that much. Apart from a couple of hot leading ladies Pearblossom has little going for it.

Good for some T&A, but that's about it

[dcobbimdb · 4/10 · 17 January 2011]

I read a few reviews going into this, so my expectations were not built up by any means. This is obviously a B level movie, with pretty much no name stars except for the Sharif, who plays a minor roll overall. I'm into Vampire movies and having cute main stars and it being Free with my Comcast subscription I figured why not give it a view.

It is an original idea / take on Vampires, but is obviously a movie that could have done a lot better if given a little more time, money, better script & acting (mainly on the minor roles), some direction & editing. Could I make a better movie if given the same chance, hell no. But obviously this kind of a movie can in no way compete with a main stream vampire / horror movie. So while there are a lot of cons, there are certainly much worse movies out there. It would have been nice to see them develop on a couple things, such as what happened to Dan, do the Vamps heal, what happened to the depute, etc… So another 10 – 15 minutes to tie up loose ends and expand on a couple things might have been worthwhile as the movie was only something like 88 minutes including credits. And as others have mentioned the first 25 minutes are rather dull, so you're only talking about 40 minutes or so of a half decent flick. Some of the acting is just horrible (such as the truck driver), seriously I could have done a better job than him… Course one has to overlook this being it was a B rated movie. Was it a complete waste of time? Not completely although it's definitely not a repeat by any means. There was some decent T&A in the beginning, although it would have scored another point or two had Sophie (Brooke) lost her top somewhere along the way as she has done in other flicks.

Overall, don't spend money to see this. Seeing it for free while not having much of anything better to do other than go to sleep 90 minutes earlier I don't feel cheated. I almost have a hard time calling it a vampire movie as they aren't your typical vampires, though they do exhibit some vampire traits. No fangs is kind of odd as you'd think that would be a cheap cosmetic thing to add, and it would have made them sexier IMO. So if you happen to catch it for free like I did, are a fan of B flick horror / vamp movies feel free to give it a try, but again go in with no or low expectations.

10X better than Zombie Strippers

[Pro Jury · 9/10 · 4 January 2011]

This review contains spoilers.

I saw ZOMBIE STRIPPERS for the first time late at night near Halloween time and it seemed impossible that it could ever be topped. After seeing LIFE BLOOD under the mid day sun it became obvious that I was wrong.

LIFE BLOOD introduces to the universe the "Chicks Chasing Chickens" TV show. Speaking of poultry, what other horror movie would ever be so confident to play the "Turkey in the Straw" song? More eatin' bird? OK, add the MIGHTY DUCKS kid and have him act fairly straight, and mix in an on-duty midget cop who waddles like a penguin. What a movie!

A mixed up (India) Indian family almost buys curry powder. Super sexy lead actresses kiss each other o'plenty. And last, there is a visit by the almighty creator who happens to be a lesbian.

LIFE BLOOD contains a sensuality that ZOMBIE STRIPPERS never achieved.

The only weakness I see here is that the almighty creator is far less hot looking than the other characters. Kim Kardasian or some other perfect .7 hip ratio female should have been cast here. Other than that, this movie is completely fun.

More enjoyable than expected but still flawed

[kannibalcorpsegrinder · 7/10 · 15 October 2014]

After dying and coming back to life as vampires, two women try to control their advanced powers in a new world but can't escape their pasts as they threaten their secret life and their friendship and forcing them to choose life or death.

Overall, this was a pretty decent and enjoyable if slightly flawed vampire effort. The main thing about this one is the fact that it tends to take an entirely different take on the genre which is not only wholly original but helps this one immensely by allowing this to take a different route through the story. By making the change occur as a result of a cosmic gift rather than a viral infection to be spread through neck-bites or blood-drinking, there's a different ethereal feel to them and how they go about being involved in the different confrontations takes a rather unusual turn here by keeping the remaining qualities of the creatures intact beyond this one simplistic change. That allows for some great moments in the diner where those powers are put into effect as there's the being impervious to bullets which makes for a fine shoot-out against the hapless officer, the superhuman strength which makes for quite an interesting brawl mid-way through where they get slammed through the surroundings to the point of breaking a normal human to pieces but they survive to continue the fight and even the burning of the skin due to the sunlight so there's the suspense of barricading themselves inside and how long that can work. As well with the plentiful and abundant nudity, these make up for some rather good times but it does have a couple problems with this. The most significant is the fact that the entire film is mostly centered around the diner so it feels way too stagnant and doesn't really seem like it actually does anything here which is quite troubling by letting scenes just go on and on just to eat up time. The fighting between the two is hardly all that original or interesting and these scenes are just maddeningly endless where one wants to exploit their powers and the other is trying to get her under control so they can utilize their powers for the better of their lives, and considering the amount of struggle that went into letting the one get imbued with those vampiric powers that really should've been seen coming quite early on so that kinda takes away from the burgeoning need to have to do that the film is clearly building towards. This does lead to a rather anti-climactic finale since it was clearly set-up from the beginning yet there's nothing really surprising about it, and when combined with the other flaws is a little disappointing.

Rated R: Graphic Language, Continuous Nudity, Graphic Violence and mild drug use.

WOW!!! What a surprise!

[armandovilchis · 10/10 · 3 May 2010]

Yes it starts off a little slow and seemly nothing to do with Vamps...but wait...you will forgive that later.

One of the best vampires movies I have seen...starts a little slow but its worth the wait to see the blond react to her new way of being. Don't let the lesbian stuff at the beginning trick you...the writing is superb...

I really believe the blond loves what she has become. I can't recall at this time another vamp movie in which I have seen a predator play with its prey in such a realistic manner. That in itself is worth the time to give this flick a chance...this movie has so many other ways to go at the end...I believe this one will be a big deal when it hits the Horror fest in October...

I want to see another one like this!

Completely over the top campy . . . and incredibly entertaining!

[charles000 · 8/10 · 16 February 2015]

I LOVE this film. Of course, it's completely over the top campy ridiculous . . . and incredibly entertaining! Sophie Monk absolutely nails her character, "Brooke", but that's not to take anything away from her counterpart played by Anya Lahiri. Everyone must have been having a good time making this film; I can't imagine anyone getting too serious while creating this production, but that's the whole point. Scary? No, not even remotely. Flawed? Well, any variety of "flaws" can be noted. But there's not a dull moment. Even the original soundtrack songs performed by Nicole Chase were quite decent, fit well with the mood of the film. No, this is not a "serious" vampire story by any stretch of the imagination, but is it fun? Absolutely!