Californication (TV Series)

LOL (2007)

David Duchovny: Hank Moody

Photos 

Quotes 

• Radio Show Host : What's your latest obsession?

  Hank Moody : Just the fact that people seem to be getting dumber and dumber. You know, I mean we have all this amazing technology and yet computers have turned into basically four figure wank machines. The internet was supposed to set us free, democratize us, but all it's really given us is Howard Dean's aborted candidacy and 24 hour a day access to kiddie porn. People... they don't write anymore, they blog. Instead of talking, they text, no punctuation, no grammar: LOL this and LMFAO that. You know, it just seems to me it's just a bunch of stupid people pseudo-communicating with a bunch of other stupid people at a proto-language that resembles more what cavemen used to speak than the King's English.

  Radio Show Host : Yet you're part of the problem, I mean you're out there blogging with the best of them.

  Hank Moody : Hence my self-loathing.

• [to Meredith] 

  Hank Moody : Try not to forget all the times I brought you to fruition. 33 to be exact.

• Hank Moody : 'B' to the 'I' to the double 'L'. What's up, my nig nog?

  Bill Lewis : I need to talk to you.

  Hank Moody : Well, you should have called. I wouldn't have answered, but you could've left a message, which I would have quickly erased.

• Hank Moody : I love women. I have all their albums.

• [to Meredith] 

  Hank Moody : Hey. You know, it's not fair to say BRB and then never actually BRB.

• Bill Lewis : [appearing as priest in Hank's hallucinatory dream]  Can I help you, my son?

  Hank Moody : Oh, hey, padre. No, no, I was just trying to check in with JZ up there.

  Bill Lewis : Anything I can help you with?

  Hank Moody : Sure you don't have a grab-ass appointment with an altar boy?

  Bill Lewis : There's plenty of time for that.

  Hank Moody : Whoa. You, uh... You checking out my package? You don't wanna suck my cock, do you?

  Bill Lewis : Do you want me to suck your cock?

  Hank Moody : Do you want me.. to want you to suck my cock?

  Bill Lewis : Do you wanna tell me why you're here?

  Hank Moody : It's about a girl. She's beautiful. She's smart and funny, up for all kinds of intercourse.

  Bill Lewis : But she's not Karen.

  Hank Moody : I didn't say that.

  Bill Lewis : Karen doesn't love you, Hank. She loves me.