Quotes
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Bert 'Sock' Wysocki : You need a doctor! Dr. Jager, Dr. Cuervo and Dr. Captain Morgan, he has two titles!
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[Sam and Sock have just been assigned to a dreaded nighttime inventory]
Sam : Well, that screws cart duty with Andi!
Bert "Sock" Wysocki : Inventory? I'll give him inventory, that little piece of dick! I hate him. I *hate him*! The stupid little haircut, and his dumb grin, his little weird eye...
Sam : Which one's weird?
Bert "Sock" Wysocki : Both of them!
Sam : [witnessing Sock fuming] Sock, are you all right?
[Sock grunts angrily]
Sam : [tenderly] Hulk need a smash?
[Sock picks up a wooden chair, goes outside and proceeds to smash the chair into bits]
Bert "Sock" Wysocki : [accentuating each smash] Stupid... Ted... Work... Bench... Jessica... Alba!
Sam : [confused] What's with Jessica Alba?
Bert "Sock" Wysocki : She thinks she's too good for me.
Sam : Really?
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Bert "Sock" Wysocki : That is quite the bag o' batteries you got there, Josie. Feeling a little lonely these days?
Josie : We're having blackouts, jackass. They're for my flashlight. And if I was lonely for you, I'd just get a pencil.
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Bert "Sock" Wysocki : I feel like a giant condom.
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Bert "Sock" Wysocki : There's nobody up here to kill.
Ben : Except us.
Bert "Sock" Wysocki : Point taken.
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Sam : Alright, so what should we do?
Ben : Hunker down, cowboy up, fight the bastard until he's back in hell where he belongs.
Bert 'Sock' Wysocki : Or we could run like little girls. That's my vote.
