Gossip Girl (TV Series)

School Lies (2008)

Blake Lively: Serena van der Woodsen

Quotes 

• Serena van der Woodsen : Tell me that Rufus is that important to you. Tell me that whatever the two of you have is the most important thing in your life. Because that's what Dan is to me mom. The most important. I would rather be Chuck's step-sister than Dan's. Please don't do this to me

  Lily van der Woodsen : Dan really means that much to you?

  Serena van der Woodsen : Yeah. He does.

• Chuck Bass : Why don't I turn that one-piece into a no-piece?

  Serena van der Woodsen : Find a floatie to talk to, Chuck.

  Chuck Bass : Ya know, if my dad and your mom come back from South Africa tomorrow engaged, we'll be brother and sister, and you know what they say, the family that plays together stays together.

  Serena van der Woodsen : Ah, incest, the universal taboo. One of the only ones you haven't violated yet.

  Chuck Bass : Well, I'm game if you are.

  [Serena starts to act like she's going to kiss him, but instead knocks his drink out of his hand] 

• Bart Bass : So. Your new step-brother told me about your problem at school. Frankly, I wasn't surprised given your propensity for recklessness and adventure.

  Serena van der Woodsen : I'm sorry?

  Bart Bass : Don't tell your mother, but... I made a call.

  Serena van der Woodsen : You did what?

  Bart Bass : It was harder than usual. That new headmistress of yours is a new peice of work. I had to go over her head. Sorry I couldn't get the charges completely dropped, but, at least I got you minimal sentence.

  Gossip Girl : One thing about being on the inside, once you get there you don't always get to choose where you stand... or sit.

  Chuck Bass : [Chuck comes over, puts his hand on her knee but she tosses it away]  I was just looking our for my family. The new Van Der Woodsen-Bass library should be completed for Eric's graduation.

  Bart Bass : I can see that Lily and I are going to have our hands full with the two of you.

  Serena van der Woodsen : Okay. Will you excuse me? I need some air.

• Serena van der Woodsen : So you don't buy what she said about me being the poster child for the new honor code? Look. I know for a fact that my mom didn't plead my case or donate anything, okay?

  Dan Humphrey : I didn't say a thing.

  Serena van der Woodsen : Are you really turning this into an upstairs-downstairs thing?

  Dan Humphrey : No. No, you are. I am being completely silent. I'm just happy that you're not being expelled or leaving town anytime soon. So are you hungry? We should...

  Serena van der Woodsen : Always. But you still believe that there's a double standard. That people like me get special treatment.

  Serena's Chauffeur : Ms. Van Der Woodsen. Your mother sent me to pick you up.

  Serena van der Woodsen : Oh. Great. That was... thoughtful.

  Dan Humphrey : I think... you get no special treatment at all. Your life is completely uncharmed and average.

  Serena van der Woodsen : [to the limo driver]  It's okay, I'll walk.

• Serena van der Woodsen : [re her mother pretending to be happily engaged]  I don't even know how she breathes with her blouse button that high.

• Chuck Bass : How glad are you to see our families merge, Sis?

  Serena van der Woodsen : So glad that if you ever call me that again, it'll be the last thing you ever say, Chuck.

  Chuck Bass : I love it. Our first brother-sister squabble. Well, I hope you're going to make yourself available for more missed childhood memories. Bathing together, for example.