- John Casey: The idea behind a stakeout is to remain inconspicuous, you moron.
- Chuck Bartowski: Uh, hello? That's why I used an alias.
- Chuck Bartowski: All right, kicking butt.
- John Casey: What happened to "don't get cocky"?
- Chuck Bartowski: My bad. Professional faux pas.
- Chuck Bartowski: So listen, I've been thinking a lot about last night. And, you know, you guys were talking about how this spy could be valuable to us. So I was thinking, what if we could convince her to, I don't know, like give up some... secret stuff...
- Sarah Walker: You mean defect?
- Chuck Bartowski: Defect, yes! People do that kind of thing all the time, right? The Hunt for Red October... uh... White Nights.
- Chuck Bartowski: [Casey stares blankly at him] White Nights? Gregory Hines, Baryshnikov, dancing their way to freedom?
- John Casey: [sarcastically] Well, as long as you've done serious research on the subject. You get her to defect, I'll help rescue her brother personally.
- Sarah Walker: Why are you bringing this up?
- Chuck Bartowski: Well, she sort of, uh, just... called me.
- John Casey: She called you? Where?
- Chuck Bartowski: At the Buy More. And I think she might been in the store too, because she knew my every move. She even knew that I had mustard on my tie.
- Mei-Ling Cho: [preparing to rescue Mei-Ling's brother] Good. Every warm body helps.
- Chuck Bartowski: I'm sorry... Me? No, no, no, no, no. Look, as much as I wish that I could help you, I can't. I made plans with my sister that are non-negotiable.
- [Everybody stare at him]
- Chuck Bartowski: But, of course, I know that you wouldn't be in this mess if it weren't for me. I wanna be with my sister and you obviously really wanna be with your brother. We're like one big whacky trans-Atlantic family. I owe you. I'm in.
- Chuck Bartowski: [walking toward Mei-Ling with the clipboard] I believe you have something for me?
- [she points a gun at him]
- Chuck Bartowski: Please, tell me that's not real, the gun, not the clipboard.
- Mei-Ling Cho: [Shoves the gun to his abdomen] Real enough?
- Lester Patel: Big Mike must not have been clear about how a sales competition works. The idea here, Morgan, um, is to sell things.
- Morgan: I can't get fired. How will I eat? I'll starve on the soup line. I hate soup. All right? Soup is not a meal. It's hardly an appetizer, for God's sake.
- Sarah Walker: An evening of Morgan.
- Chuck Bartowski: Okay, so here's the thing. Uh, he's my best friend. And I haven't gotten to spend any time with him or Ellie this week and so he really wanted us to hang out tonight.
- Sarah Walker: For an evening of Morgan?
- John Casey: I thought being stationed in Khyber Pass for six months was brutal.
- Chuck Bartowski: If you're so sad about not being included, Casey, you could say so.
- John Casey: Dinner with you and Morgan. I'd rather Afghani warlords bleed me from my liver.
- Chuck Bartowski: [to Sarah, about Casey] He's a happy person.
- Ellie Bartowski: It's one thing to let shrimp go to waste, it's another to stand me up, but to leave me with Morgan?
- Chuck Bartowski: And I feel terrible about that, believe me. I do. You know how much I adore sizzling shrimp. And you. More specifically you. It just, Sarah wasn't feeling well, and...
- Ellie Bartowski: Oh, well, what is it? I'm a doctor.
- Chuck Bartowski: I believe, uh, she had a spastic colon.
- Ellie Bartowski: Yuck.
- Chuck Bartowski: I know. A girl that beautiful with a colon that spastic.
- Big Mike: Sales are down, people. There's too much horsing around. And what this team needs is some good old-fashioned motivation.
- Morgan: I couldn't agree with you more, big man.
- Big Mike: Twenty-four-hour sales competition. Starting now. First prize: iPhone. Second prize: Large pizza, two toppings. Third prize...
- Morgan: Don't even say small pizza, alright? 'Cause that's not a prize, that's a punishment. When I eat a small pizza not only am I still hungry, I'm angry. You wouldn't want me hungry, because then I get cranky. Then I get a little mean. Then I kind of get sleepy.
- Big Mike: Third prize is you get to keep your job.
- Morgan: Oh.
- Big Mike: Last prize: You're fired.
- Chuck Bartowski: I thought you were off this stuff.
- Morgan Grimes: Yeah, well, I'm sorry, Chuck, all right? Daddy needs his fix, you know?
- Chuck Bartowski: You know how I feel about fireworks.
- Morgan Grimes: You know what? To defeat fear, one must embrace fear.
- Chuck Bartowski: I'd rather embrace my limbs. Specifically, all of them.
- Ellie Bartowski: When did we start keeping secrets from one another?
- Chuck Bartowski: You know what? Look, if you'll just, if you'll just let me... explain...
- Ellie Bartowski: There's no need. I figured it out. I know.
- Chuck Bartowski: [Shocked, believing she knows about the spy stuff] You do?
- Ellie Bartowski: You haven't had a girlfriend for a long time, and you're in love.
- Chuck Bartowski: [Smiles, relieved she doesn't know the truth] Yeah.
- [Beat, wondering about it himself]
- Chuck Bartowski: ... I am?
- Ellie Bartowski: Chuck's not home, Morgan.
- Morgan: My four favorite words.
- [sits down next to her on the couch]
- Ellie Bartowski: Get out!
- Morgan: Not my favorites. But at least we're dialogue-ing.