Everybody Hates Chris (TV Series)

Everybody Hates Minimum Wage (2007)

Tyler James Williams: Chris

Quotes 

• Chris : [to Greg about the girl he likes]  Why don't you just go talk to her?

  Greg Wuliger : I can't just go up to her and start talking.

  Narrator : Works for pimps.

  Chris : Yeah, you can.

  Greg Wuliger : Okay, smarty-pants, Do... do I say "hi"? Do I say "hello"? Or maybe "hey"? Or even "hey, hi"? The possibilities are endless. We haven't even gotten to what I'll be wearing.

  Narrator : I know what you'll be wearing. A look of frozen terror.

• Mr. Fong : [to Chris]  What are you doing?

  Chris : Oh, I finished the dishes, so I decided to start my homework.

  Mr. Fong : No homework. You have work-work.

  Chris : But Doc always let me start my homework.

  Mr. Fong : Well, you are not at Doc's anymore. Go fix the menu numbers.

• Mr. Fong : [to Chris]  Lionel Ritchie, you're back just in time for another delivery.

  Chris : I'm not going back out there. This neighborhood is too dangerous for deliveries. You're basically sending me out with a sign saying, "Hey, I got money. Please rob me."

• Julius : Hey, Chris. How's the new job working out?

  Chris : I quit.

  Julius : You quit? Quitting is for smoking and drinking. You better have a good reason for quitting your job.

  Chris : Mr. Fong kept yelling at me, I almost got shot at, I got robbed, I'm getting sick of rice, and to top that all off, I'm getting paid way much less than I was before.

  Julius : You know what, Chris? You quit Doc's for your principles. He was a good boss, but you picked minimum wage over good working conditions. Looks like you picked the wrong principle to stand on.

  Chris : Yeah, I did.

  Julius : What you going to do now?

  Chris : I'm going to go out and find a new job.

  Julius : That's not it, Chris. Look, you just can't quit every time you don't like something. I mean, what if Miles Davis had quit the trumpet?

  Chris : Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. What if George Washington Carver quit the peanut? What if B.B. King quit "Lucille"? What if Paul Robeson quit "Old Man River"? What if Bill Cosby quit Jell-O? What if Mr. T quit pitying the fool? What if Stevie quit wondering? What if Fat Albert quit The Cosby Kids. What if Ashford quit Simpson? What if Michael Jackson quit doing the moonwalk? What if Diana Ross quit the Supremes?

  Julius : Diana Ross did quit the Supremes.

  Chris : You get my point.

  Julius : Just go get a job.

  Chris : Okay.

• Chris : [to James]  You're working at Hoo's now?

  James : Yeah, man. That's a good job. I don't know why you quit. He pays $67 a week cash. No taxes. Must be something wrong with you.

  Narrator : I'd like to kick him in the fortune cookies.