- Dr. Bob Kelso: Listen, if he wanted to find a place to hide your patient, he could. He's just stressed, and out of his elements, and hell, he's scared. And even if he hasn't realized it, this job is changing him already! Because it comes with a whole host of overwhelming responsibilities, including keeping this hospital afloat.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: I'd help him if he'd let me, but you know he won't.
- Dr. Bob Kelso: When I was Chief, and Dr. Cox came to me and complain about something, I would automatically say no. And if he never complained again, I'd know it wasn't that important. But if he came back and fought for it, over and over, I'd know it was something that I have to take a look at. Now, he's me, and he's got this damn voice in his head, telling him to say no all the time, and he desperately needs someone on the other side to tell him what he should do, whether he wants to hear it or not. And now, that person is you. Here we are.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [They stop in front of Dr. Cox's office] Will he be at least grateful?
- Dr. Bob Kelso: No. He's gonna hate you for it.
- Dr. Perry Cox: I'm just gonna hit the floor and be a doctor like I have my entire career.
- Dr. Bob Kelso: Well, you can kiss that idea good-bye. I spent so much time behind that desk dealing with red tape, my behind still has the imprint of the chair. You want to see? Since we're friends now, I can show you my butt.
- Dr. Perry Cox: Bob, I saw it 5 years ago at Nurse Roberts' above-ground pool party and I am still recovering. Honest to God, there are times when I close my eyes, and it's... just there.
- Dr. Perry Cox: What the hell is that?
- Janitor: Some stupid gift from the Board. It's a photo of Sacred Heart when it first opened in 1884.
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: There's a hybrid in the parking lot.
- Janitor: I might have read the date wrong. So where do you want me to hang it?
- Dr. Perry Cox: Somebody else's office.
- Katie: [J.D. and Elliot are kissing] Dr. Dorian?
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Katie, we've been over this. It's inappropriate to interrupt an attending while he's hitting that. Particularly while he's hitting it good.
- Katie: [Speaking of Turk] Oh, and he wanted me to ask you if you wanted to go to the batting cages after work.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Remind him I don't like to do things that I'm not good at.
- Dr. Elliot Reid: Yeah. That's why we don't have sex much.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: That hurt me so much, I lost my breath a little.
- Dr. Elliot Reid: You're not mad at me, you're just frustrated about something else and you're taking it out on me. I mean, it's like last night, when my favorite shoes made my toes bleed, and so I called you a frizzy-haired mega bitch. That's why we had to make the rule, that we can't just dump on each other just because we're pissy about other stuff.
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: We need to cancel that rule.
- Dr. Elliot Reid: Yeah, I agree. It was stupid. I hated it.
- Dr. Elliot Reid: Why is Nelly giving you so much attitude?
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: Even though I'm the Head Nurse, I mostly hang with doctors, I'm married to a doctor, my best friend is a doctor...
- Dr. Elliot Reid: Who's your best friend?
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: You are.
- Dr. Elliot Reid: I know. I just wanted to hear you say it out loud.
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: The point is: Nurses sometimes think I'm on the wrong team.
- Dr. Elliot Reid: How could they think that? You're like the most loyal person I know. Except for the time that you booed me off the stage at the karaoke bar.
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: Elliot, you're not allowed to sing 'Swing Low, Sweet Chariot'.
- Dr. Elliot Reid: I just can't hit those low notes.
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: Sure, that's why.