The Office (TV Series)

Money (2007)

Steve Carell: Michael Scott

Photos 

Quotes 

• Michael Scott : [to the entire office]  I declare... BANKRUPTCY!

• [In the conference room, the office workers are discussing the correct use of 'whoever' vs. 'whomever'] 

  Kevin Malone : I know what's right, but I'm not gonna say because you're all jerks who didn't come see my band last night.

  Ryan Howard : Do you really know which one is correct?

  Kevin Malone : I don't know.

  Pam Beesly : It's 'whom' when it's the object of the sentence and 'who' when it's the subject.

  Phyllis Lapin : That sounds right.

  Michael Scott : Well, it sounds right, but is it?

  Stanley : How did Ryan use it, as an object?

  Ryan Howard : As an object.

  Kelly Kapoor : Ryan used *me* as an object.

  Stanley : Is he right about that...?

  Pam Beesly : How did he use it again?

  Toby Flenderson : It was... Ryan wanted Michael, the subject, to explain the computer system, the object...

  Michael Scott : Thank you!

  Toby Flenderson : ...to whomever, meaning us, the indirect object... which is the correct usage of the word.

  Michael Scott : No one asked you anything ever, so whomever's name is Toby, why don't you take a letter opener and stick it into your skull.

• Oscar : Hey. I just wanted you to know that you can't just say the word "bankruptcy" and expect anything to happen.

  Michael Scott : I didn't say it. I declared it.

• Jan Levinson-Gould : So, I forgot to tell you that I need the car tonight.

  Michael Scott : Oh, actually I need the car.

  Jan Levinson-Gould : Why? For improv? Why don't you just pretend that you have a car?

• Michael Scott : Yes. Money has been a little bit tight lately, but at the end of my life, when I'm sitting on my yacht, am I gonna be thinking about how much money I have? No. I'm gonna be thinking about how many friends I have and my children and my comedy albums.

• Creed Bratton : Hey, coz. Heard you're having money problems.

  Michael Scott : No, you didn't.

  Creed Bratton : Listen, I got the answer. You declare bankruptcy, all your problems go away.

  Creed Bratton : [in confessional]  Creed Bratton has never declared bankruptcy. When Creed Bratton gets in trouble, he transfers his debt to

  [holds up a fake passport] 

  Creed Bratton : William Charles Schneider.

  Michael Scott : How would that help, Creed? In Monopoly, you go bankrupt, you lose.

  Creed Bratton : You don't go by Monopoly, man. That game is *nuts*. Nobody just pick up Get Out of Jail Free cards. Those things cost thousands.

  Michael Scott : That is a good point.

  Creed Bratton : Bankruptcy, Michael, is nature's do-over. It's a fresh start. It's a clean slate.

  Michael Scott : Like the Witness Protection Program.

  Creed Bratton : [simultaneously]  Exactly.

  Oscar Martinez : [simultaneously]  Not at all.

• Ryan Howard : What I really want, honestly, Michael, is for you to know it so that you can communicate it to the people here, to your clients, to whomever.

  Michael Scott : [chuckles]  Okay.

  Ryan Howard : What?

  Michael Scott : It's 'whoever', not 'whomever'.

  Ryan Howard : No, it's 'whomever'.

  Michael Scott : No, 'whomever' is never actually right.

  Jim Halpert : Well, sometimes it's right.

  Creed Bratton : Michael is right. It's a made-up word used to trick students.

  Andy Bernard : No. Actually, 'whomever' is the formal version of the word.

  Oscar Martinez : Obviously it's a real word, but I don't know when to use it correctly.

  Michael Scott : [to camera]  Not a native speaker.

  Kevin Malone : I know what's right, but I'm not gonna say because you're all jerks who didn't come see my band last night.

• Michael Scott : I was never in this for the money. But it turns out that the money was an absolute necessity for me.

• [Michael strides briskly into the office, casually tossing his overcoat at Pam in reception] 

  Michael Scott : Coat!

  Pam Beesly : [to camera]  Michael just rented "The Devil Wears Prada". He has his Netflix sent here to the office, and he watches them in pieces when things are slow.

  [Michael is sitting alone in his office] 

  Michael Scott : STEAK? WHERE'S MY STEAK?

  Pam Beesly : [to camera]  He's a big Meryl Streep fan, so I shouldn't be surprised that he's identified with her character.

  Michael Scott : [to Pam; in a stuffy accent]  Get me Armani.

  Pam Beesly : A suit?

  Michael Scott : On the phone.

  Pam Beesly : Like the main company number? Because I'm gonna have to call information.

  Michael Scott : Where's Armani? He's on the phone. Too slow. You are not going to Paris. I'm so much better than you are.

  [breaks into laughter] 

  Michael Scott : [the next day, Michael walks into the office slowly, as if he's realized something he did was horrible last night] 

  Michael Scott : [low; to Pam]  I owe you an apology.

  Pam Beesly : [realizing]  You finished the movie!

  Michael Scott : Yeah. It was awesome. Big surprise ending. Won't ruin it for you.

  Pam Beesly : No. Go ahead.

  Michael Scott : Meryl Streep is the bad guy. Never see it coming. Anyways, if I was mean in any way to you, I am sorry. I just want what's best for you, Mo Chuisle.

  Pam Beesly : [to camera]  Mo Chuisle. He's watching "Million Dollar Baby".

  [beat] 

  Pam Beesly : He's gonna try to kill me.

• Figgero : This is a trading game. You give a quick pitch, you make the sale, you move on. That's how Vikram does it.

  Michael Scott : Vikram doesn't have my people skills.

  Figgero : Good for Vikram, because he outsells you every night.

• Michael Scott : I tried to live the dream. I tried to have a job, a girlfriend, another job, and I failed. But the good thing about the American dream is that you can just go to sleep and try it all again the next night.

• Oscar : Michael, are you having money problems?

  Michael Scott : Monkey problems? No, I'm not having monkey problems. Why would I have monkey problems?

  Oscar : I know you heard me correctly.

  Michael Scott : [sighs]  Oh, I hate monkeys.

• [last lines] 

  Michael Scott : Don't sell your implants, please.

  Jan Levinson : I'm keeping them. I know you like them.

• Michael Scott : Used to have two cars, traded them in. Now we're down to one. Good economic sense, although the new car's a Porsche, for her.

• Michael Scott : Hey, guys. What you talking about? Okay. I know what's going on. You're talking about Jim and Pam, if they're having sex, what it looks like, and I think...

  Pam Beesley : Michael.

  Michael Scott : Hey, hey, hey.

• Michael Scott : Hey, congrats on the bonus.

  Vikram : Thank you, Michael.

  Michael Scott : I'm gonna nab it one of these nights.

  Vikram : Well, if you concentrate and make your calls faster, yeah.

• Oscar : Michael, I'm gonna set you and Jan up with a debt consolidator, you'll meet with this guy, you...

  Michael Scott : Ugh... no, no, no, we are gonna leave Jan out of this.

  Oscar : She has to know!

  Michael Scott : We will find another way! We'll ask Powerpoint.

  Oscar : Michael this is a presentation tool.

  Michael Scott : *You* are a presentation tool, if you think I'm gonna tell Jan about this

  [Oscar gets up to leave] 

  Oscar : I'm done.

  Michael Scott : No, you're not. Ok. You're not a tool.

• Michael Scott : [to his Indian co-worker]  What's a dollar worth in your land? Medical school must cost like 40 bucks or a donkey or something.