Psych (TV Series)

American Duos (2007)

Tim Curry: Nigel St. Nigel

Quotes 

• Henry Spencer : That's it - take off the robe! Wearing that robe is a privilege and you, pal, have just lost it!

  Nigel St. Nigel : I steadfastly refuse. This is the plushiest, most opulent robe I've ever had the pleasure of wearing.

  Henry Spencer : Well, there's one thing we can agree on. Now give it up.

  Nigel St. Nigel : No. I feel like an angel baby swaddled in a cocoon of cloud candy

• Zapato Dulce : I was the first to sign on. This was supposed to be MY show! MY shot! MY comeback! You turned me into a simp! I freaking hate you! People don't even know who I am. I get fan letters addressed to Geraldo, Ricky Martin, and that guy from the El Pollo Loco commercial. You ruined everything! Why won't you die?

  [Zapato lunges at Nigel, but is quickly restrained] 

  Nigel St. Nigel : Really? That was your plan? That has to be the poorest executed attack in history. I was two feet away from you all the time. I mean, you have to be absolutely, without doubt, the worst murderer I have ever seen.

• Nigel St. Nigel : [sitting in Gus' car]  I feel like I've been incarcerated in a blueberry.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : Shawn!

  Nigel St. Nigel : This car makes me want to weep and then die.

• Henry Spencer : Take it off!

  Nigel St. Nigel : No!

  Shawn Spencer : Uh, Dad? I think he's going commando under there.

  Henry Spencer : No, he's not.

  [looks at Nigel, who smiles] 

  Henry Spencer : What kind of sick bastard goes commando underneath another man's robe?

• Juliet O'Hara : What about Detective Lassiter?

  Nigel St. Nigel : Absolutely not. His hair looks like it was poured out of a cake mold.

• Nigel St. Nigel : I feel like an angel baby, swaddled in a cocoon of cloud candy.

• Nigel St. Nigel : I feel as if I have been incarcerated in a blueberry.

• Nigel St. Nigel : You're stiff. Inarticulate. Slightly jaundiced. Asymmetrical. You smell. The one on the right, there's something in your teeth. All in all, I'd say there's absolutely nothing worthwhile about either one of you.

  Singer #1 : But... we haven't even sang yet.

  Nigel St. Nigel : Apples and oranges. Anybody else?

  Emilina Saffron : [slurred]  I like 'em.

  Nigel St. Nigel : Well, of course you like them, you've been asleep for the last forty-five minutes. Zapato?

  Zapato Dulce : Well, I...

  Nigel St. Nigel : Good. Moving on.

• Nigel St. Nigel : [on Shawn and Gus's audition performance]  It was real, it was rough, post-post-postmodern, yet challenging. Sandpaper-esque.

• Nigel St. Nigel : [to Shawn]  What is it with you and throwing things?

• [Henry Spencer is serving Steak to obnoxious reality TV show judge Nigel St. Nigel. He gives the retired cop as look of disdain] 

  Henry Spencer : Is there a problem?

  Nigel St. Nigel : Well look at it. It's still got the marks where the Jockey was hitting it.

• Nigel St. Nigel : [seeing Henry's house]  Good Lord. Who lives here, the Boringtons?

  Shawn Spencer : There's a better then decent chance this goes poorly.

• Shawn Spencer : Nigel!

  Nigel St. Nigel : [crawling out from under a table]  I just, um, dropped some... items.