Peep Show (TV Series)

Conference (2007)

Ellie Chidzey: Lap Dancer

Quotes 

• [Mark has been roped into getting a lap dance against his will] 

  Mark Corrigan : [voiceover]  Oh, great. Here we go. I'm just another cock getting wired into the global economy. Ugh, how should I look like? Bond-like neutrality, as though I'm so used to seeing real-life naked women? Or, don't want to be rude, smiling encouragement? That's not a leer is it? Got to avoid the leer at all costs, and the dribble. Oh God, she looks amazing. This really should not be allowed. This is what men want and we shouldn't be allowed to have it because it's horrible and it makes you feel sick. Oh great, now I'm getting an erection, how grimly predictable. When's the work gonna happen?

  [he gets out his laptop] 

  Mark Corrigan : I'm very sorry and you're a very attractive woman but I have got a helluva lot on, so...

  Leah : Do you want me to stop?

  Mark Corrigan : No, no, no, you go ahead, you're obviously very talented but I should just get with this.

  Leah : What are you writing?

  Mark Corrigan : Oh, just a proposal, so...

  Leah : Well, you haven't written very much, have you?

  [she carries on the dance] 

  Leah : You should try and sum up all your aims in the first line.

  Mark Corrigan : Right, this is a very complex business proposal, so I really don't think you could sum up all the aims in one line.

  Leah : If you can't sum up all the aims in the first line, then they're too diffuse.

  Mark Corrigan : Look, my aims are not too fucking diffuse, OK?

  Leah : Fine. Jesus! They just might be too diffuse that was all I was saying.

  Mark Corrigan : [voiceover]  Great, now I'm getting an angry lap dance, brilliant.