House of Usher (2008) User Reviews

So terrible It's been 10 hours since I watched it and can't stop thinking about it.

[opiaterein · 2/10 · 16 February 2010]

After reading a one star review and looking over some of the actors' not surprisingly limited other work, I went into this knowing I shouldn't expect anything profound. As a gay man, the movie being described as softcore gay porn made me slightly curious. I thought maybe some eye candy would help make up for the low points. I was thinking it might just be another one of those films that had been written with some good potential but had missed the mark with too many awkward man-kiss moments. Only partly true...

Well... I will say that even with almost no expectations, this one still managed to disappoint me. The two male leads are, truth told, quite easy to look at and really their deliverance of their lines wasn't really that bad - just plain. The actress, however... was so god-awful I can't even bring myself to describe it, though I may possess the necessary skills of description.

To keep myself from going on and on about how bad it all was, I'll try to summarize in a little list.

* Script & dialogue - terrible. Tries to be modern and Poe at the same time... odd juxtapositioning of teenage relationship issues with "deep" conversations and really 5-dollar-word vocabulary. * Acting - Can't blame the actors for however bad it was, but still the male leads SHINE compared to the female. * Sex scenes - no actual sex. Not even hidden. Underwear are always on during sex scenes. Just lots of kissing and rubbing everywhere except where it counts. These scenes are very long and awkward. There are a couple of weird points where bare butts try to mix with spoooky surroundings, it just doesn't work unless you're *literally* homophobic, in which case I would think these scenes would be truly terrifying. * Plot - The writer has never heard of such a thing. * The "Twist" - While you may not see it coming, you have seen it before.

There are a couple of scenes or just shots where the lighting is nice, but the music is all really irritating and cheesy, and the leads are at their best in their scenes together, but there are only a couple of these. Unfortunately not even the erotic bits could save this one.

A warning to those like me: If you're looking for the homo-erotic, try something that makes no attempt to be anything other than a gay interest film. They haven't yet found a way to mix the profound with the homo.

It's David Decoteau... what do you expect?

[MDCarver1980 · 4/10 · 6 June 2019]

So I actually started watching this movie not knowing this was a David Decoteau movie. I didn't see his name on the credits initially. It didn't take place inside that Malibu mansion that all his other movies take place in.... but the first "make out scene" and that appearance of whighty tighties had me thinking "hey... is this a David Decoteau movie?" Turns out yes, hence expectations lowered. As far as being a faithful adaptation of Poe's story, it kinda sticks to the point but goes in a very different direction. It is also one of Decoteau's more directly gay movies. Most of his stuff isn't really "gay" it just has gay appeal... this is gay. As far as Decoteau compared himself, this is actually a better effort to make an actual movie that isn't just a glorified skin pic, though it definitely is that too... kind of... but the "make out scenes" are much shorter in comparison and while poorly constructed and written, a larger portion of this movie actually contributes to the plot than in most of his movies (which usually consist of a 15 minute scene of a guy wondering around looking for someone, and several 10-15 minute scenes of guys in white tighties rubbing their own chests in various locales such as a bed a shower or a home gym, with very little plot development or dialogue between those scenes).

If you have oodles of time to kill, this will kill it - in every sense of the word.

[jroads · 1/10 · 20 August 2010]

Oh. My. GOD!! We didn't expect much and we got even less. No true spoilers here because we only got through about half an hour of this pointless mess. The actors appeared to be reading from a teleprompter - complete with pauses in the middle of sentences as if they had to wait for the next set of lines to appear. There was absolutely no emotion in anything anyone said. I don't necessarily blame the actors, though. They had awful material to work with. The "softcore porn" scenes were even so incredibly bad it was painful - and they seemed to go on forever. Here's the spoiler part, if you can call it that. Even the hands of the "ghost" in the tub were badly done. Over the top bad.

The sister had a little more animation in her, but it was so overdone it was also painful.

Timing was awkward. Scenes that contributed nothing were scattered all over. The music was uneven, didn't fit, and was annoying.

That's half an hour we'll never get back. Sadness. Tears.

Pointless gay softcore-film

[Aleksandra-Z · 1/10 · 23 August 2009]

Wow, I haven't seen a film that sucks THAT bad in a long time. I only watched it because I read a user comment with 10 stars, and thought to myself "well it can't be THAT bad, if someone is willing to give it 10 stars, right?" I was SO wrong.

This film wasted 80 Minutes of my lifetime, and I will never get them back again. It's absolutely pointless... nothing happens in this film! It's a gay-themed film, which I really don't mind, but that's like the only interesting part there.

It's all about a House that is "alive" and "bloodthirsty". From the first minute of the film, till almost the end you will hear this sentence again and again... without any real consequences.

The dialogues are horribly pseudo-deep, the acting is awful, the story is pointless, and the music gives you a headache. The only thing I would MAYBE call "acceptable" is the end of the film. It has something like a surprise... but this surprise sucks big times too.

All in all: save your money and time and rather go see a REAL horror/thriller-film. This one just sucks.

One of the worst remakes of a movie I have ever seen

[nzswanny · 1/10 · 18 August 2016]

Why is this even called House Of Usher??? It's barely got anything to do with the original! Being a fan of the original The House Of Usher movie, I decided to watch this remake, which I thought was going to be decent. But, oh my god, this was terrible! The dialogue was god-awful, the story barely had a connection to House Of Usher and there was too much scenes with men in their underwear that were completely UNNECESSARY! Those scenes wouldn't even be that bad if they were actually needed! But it's not really those scenes that are bad...it's the dialogue and acting that are terrible. These two things annoyed me so much through out the film, and their were no redeeming features to fix those two flaws. This film also had no scares, and I'm glad that it only got 1000$ at the box office.

Overall, I'd rate this a 2.1/10!

Models aren't actors

[Alfredzur · 1/10 · 31 December 2013]

I guess this is what you get when you cast underwear models as actors. Apparently they can't do both at the same time. I had no idea what to expect when I watched this. If it weren't for the very occasional nudity (rear, distant) and the (not very suggestive) suggestive scenes, it could go into a 10 worst movies of all time list. One positive note - it was on TV, so I didn't have to pay to see it. I noted that I am including a "spoiler" in this review, but, believe me, the concept was spoiled long before I put my fingers on the keyboard. Why waste the film? Why waste your time? Other than pretty faces, there's really nothing here. I can understand a new inexperienced director wanting to try things, but not at my expense.

Why do I suffer though DeCoteau's films????? To Warn you!

[QueerNightmare · 18 March 2010]

First off I have to say: Holy crap Actual gay themes and characters and not just hinting at homo-eroticism

Now on to the Bad which constitutes the rest of this review after all it is another David DeCoteau cinematic bowel movement.

Because I can't be bothered typing up a plot synopsis here a cut and paste from IMDb: Victor Reynolds arrives at the notorious House of Usher, whereupon he is greeted by old acquaintances Roderick and Madeline Usher and their servant, Markus. As Victor uncovers more about the history of the house and the disappearances of those that entered it previously, he begins to realize that he is in mortal danger. Written by tixylix

Most unintimidating killer I've seen I actually snorted as soon as the first reveal happened and again as in the Brotherhood the baddies always wear sunglasses @ night... the Neo look went out with the Matrix, DUDE..! Claims to be Poe's house of usher though I never read Fall of the House of Usher though I can guarantee that the killer in Poe's vision did not wear a trench coat and shades Matrix-Style!

The actors Playing the main characters of Usher (Ush) and Reynolds seem to rather want to film sex scenes rather then further the story by actually acting a reciting lines with anything remotely resembling not making it obvious that they would rather just read a few lines off a cue card. WHY OH WHY CAN'T DECOTEAU SPEND A FEW BUCKS ON ACTORS WITH TALENT???????

Do we acutely get what the other DeCoteau films hint then tease at... some serious guy on guy action..? YES!!! In a soft-core way! Some over the undies action no full frontal... god even the nude statues have leaves over the naughty bits… and a bit of coitus interuptus over "issues"

And yet another DeCoteau film with psychic character DeCoteau seems to be a director of the church of lazy writing convention #1 (see my past DeCoteau reviews to get that) this time the character Reynolds can see into the past with 100% accuracy and can see dead people (solid ghosts?) I'd ask who writes this 'Stuff' but does anyone actually care!?

The make-up effects consist of some cheep Halloween horror blood that literally looks like it was applied with a finger and those cheesy dissolving blood capsules that you can get a the local dollar store. The sound track is loud and over bearing I suppose it's trying to emulate the Gothic horror of the Vincent Price Fall of The House of Usher film but falls miles short.

Then there are the plot holes and missteps of this film: At least research the damn disease that a character has. "Catalepsy" is nothing like what Madeline has. Catalepsy is a nervous condition characterized by muscular rigidity and fixity of posture regardless of external stimuli, as well as decreased sensitivity to pain. Symtoms are: rigid body, rigid limbs, limbs staying in same position when moved (waxy flexibility), no response, loss of muscle control, and slowing down of bodily functions, such as breathing. Notice falling unconscious is not one of them, even though she does suffer from it in the original Poe Story.

DeCoteau is to queer and based on famous fiction horror as Lomell is to based on true events horror house of usher bears as much resemblance to Poe's work as Lomell's so called based of a true story horror films like BTK Killer, Son of Sam and Zodiac Killer to name a few.

And we come to the end of the Film:

Look it's the same ending as The Wizard of Oz …"you where there you were there" Reynolds wakes up and he's in the loony bin the whole movie a figment of his mind using apparently the Poe books he read that are sitting on his window sill and the people and places as the characters and setting of is delusion.

Interesting Twist

[ronnel2195 · 10/10 · 9 August 2009]

I'm always fond of writing comments on movies that are either underrated or unnoticed and yet possess some degree of depth or sensibility. When I started watching this movie, I prepared myself for something really profound. But then I saw man-to-man kissing. Not that I have something against that or on movies that contain similar scenes, it's just that I did not intend to watch that kind of movie that afternoon.

For the benefit of the doubt, I continued watching and gave it a try anyway. Soon I started appreciating it – first on the choice of words in the dialogue, quite sensible; and then on the overall script that practically ushers the audience gradually into something bigger, becoming more dreadful by the minute – reason enough for fans of horror and suspense-thriller movies to get hooked up after all; and then the directing that made the actors essentially effective, the narrating, and practically every scene in the movie quite creepy. I could not overlook how the director successfully managed to utilize the main actor's tears in complete silence at the end of the movie to convey lots of messages – could be for a love that ended tragically or because he failed and abandoned someone he loved for quite some time or for the failure of Usher to get him out of such misery. And then there is this quite interesting twist in the end that changed the perspective of the movie. While all along, it was Usher who seemed to be needing a redemption, in the end though, it is the other way around after all.

Yes, the movie contained some partial male nudity and gay relationship but all these seemed to fall into the backdrop as one focuses his attention on the overall message being conveyed by the movie – the fall of the house of Usher is the product of the failure to save a loved one, whether it is in the point of view of Usher, Usher's sister, or even Victor…*

a pretext

[Kirpianuscus · 28 June 2018]

It is obvious than the work of Edgar Allan Poe is only a pretext for a film from that category. but the word pretext, in this case , it is less. first, for the plot reduced at ... nothing. second - for the awful performances. and, sure, for the worst dialogue. from beginning the expectations are not high but you believe to see a small sparkle or a symbolic connection with the text of Poe. but than is too much. so, a precise target and a reasonable end.and nothing more.

Well done blend of gay erotica & light horror

[bertjt · 8/10 · 1 August 2010]

I really enjoyed watching this film. It is both gay soft-core erotica & an intriguing horror film with minimal gore. This to me is a fresh approach, which gives erotica viewers a real plot, & horror viewers a rare gay take on a classic situation. If you like lots of gruesome makeup, instead of style & atmosphere, this may not be your film; I like the older Hammer & Universal films which relied on pacing, interesting camera work, & simple effects to suggest supernatural events & set a mood -- which this film does effectively IMHO. Believe it or not -- and this is aimed at the reviewer who hadn't even read Poe & still criticized the film for its lack of fidelity to the source -- it is a reasonable interpretation of the Poe story, down to plot elements, with a couple of additions. One is the explicit homo-erotic element: in the story, the narrator/visitor character and Roderick Usher are just "friends." I felt that the gay element was handled tastefully and well. The movie has some genuinely arousing scenes, but no nudity or explicit sex; the cast are uniformly handsome & flatteringly photographed; and they CAN act -- nobody stumbled over lines, or furniture, or lacked focus on their scene partners. The other added element is the twist ending, or epilogue, which is (spoiler) a tribute to the surprise ending of the great & influential German expressionist silent, The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. If this sounds like the genre of film you like, it is well worth your time.