- Casey Cartwright: You know Cap I hope I didn't hurt you when I ended things.
- Cappie: Who said it's over?
- Rusty Cartwright: [talking about Casey] How do you know her?
- Cappie: Uh, in the biblical sense.
- Rusty Cartwright: Oh, from Church.
- Cappie: Yea, you could say I've been in her church.
- Dale: I know that I may seem like just a Christian hick with a very bright future ahead of him, but can I give you some advice?
- Cappie: Give us a second, Pledge.
- Rusty Cartwright: Pledge? Is that a part of the whole hazing thing?
- Cappie: No, I just can't remember his name.
- Casey Cartwright: Now, what can you tell me about Ashleigh just from her appearance? Anyone? There are four things that I see right away. One: the stain on the right side of her theory shirt means she's sloppy. Two: her Marc Jacobs skirt looks brand-new but is last season, so I'm guessing clearance rack raid? Three: her Prada shoes, while quite nice, are too big for her feet, probably on loan from a friend with better taste and more money. Four...
- Libby: Oh! Oh, oh! The bags under her eyes. She's a party girl who's probably still drunk from last night.
- Ashleigh: That's all true!
- Rusty Cartwright: Where's your name tag?
- Engineering Student: I don't feel comfortable with strangers having access to personal information without my explicit consent.
- Rusty Cartwright: [laughs nervously]
- Engineering Student: I think we're done here.
- Dale: [at the engineering party] Check out the hotties! And free Red Bull! I mean, we get a whole other week of this before classes even start. College rocks.
- Rusty Cartwright: You know, to be honest, I kinda expected...more...Our first college party.
- Dale: Like a fraternity party or something? I mean who would choose to hang out with a bunch of drunkards whose goal in life is to fornicate on as many vapid sorority girls as possible.
- Cappie: Hey Beav, didn't you take some pictures last night? That could jog our memories.
- The Beaver: All the pictures I took were of girls flashing their racks.
- Cappie: Hmmm. I'm gonna need to see those.