Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (TV Series)

Closet (2008)

Christopher Meloni: Detective Elliot Stabler

Quotes 

• Elliot Stabler : [to Freddie]  Where were you last night?

  Freddie Ramirez : Hanging with friends.

  Elliot Stabler : Doing what?

  Freddie Ramirez : Stuff.

  Elliot Stabler : Where?

  Freddie Ramirez : Around.

  Elliot Stabler : Okay, hey, I want you to start answering my questions in complete sentences.

• Ed Tucker : [to Elliot about Olivia]  Your partner has been sleeping with an editor at The Ledger for months.

  Elliot Stabler : Get outta here.

  Ed Tucker : Well, you obviously don't know Detective Benson as well as you think.

  Elliot Stabler : I know she'd never torpedo a case.

  Ed Tucker : Forgive me if I questioned your judgment, but you didn't even know she was screwing the paper boy.

• Olivia Benson : So some football player is gay. What is the big deal?

  Elliot Stabler : Look, it is. You got millions of kids with these guys' posters hanging off their walls. They idolize 'em.

  Olivia Benson : As long as he's sleeping with women.

  Elliot Stabler : Lincoln Haver is my kid's hero.

  Olivia Benson : Well, let's go pay him a visit. Maybe Linc will sign an autograph for Dickie.

• Gary Lesley : [about Lincoln Haver]  I worked my ass of for years; getting him promotional deals, commercials, salary increases and this freaking boyfriend wanted to take it all away.

  Elliot Stabler : Love sucks.

  Gary Lesley : Yeah, doesn't love...

  [yells] 

  Gary Lesley : Screw love! He's a football player. He's a piece of meat that I sell to the highest bidder. How many good years you think he's got left? Five? What, ten? If there's a miracle. I just... why couldn't he have just waited a couple years?

  [laughs as Elliot and Olivia stare at him] 

• Elliot Stabler : 'Scuse me. Your manager around?

  Candace : You're looking at her. Mm. I'm Candayce. You wanna join my club, handsome?