Scrubs (TV Series)
My Conventional Wisdom (2007)
John C. McGinley: Dr. Perry Cox
Quotes
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Dr. Elliot Reid : I'm notifying all my old boyfriends that I am officially off the market.
Dr. Perry Cox : I'm sure the pulse setting on your shower head will be devastated.
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Dr. Perry Cox : July 21st? Ooh, I'm afraid I won't be able to make it?
Dr. Elliot Reid : Why not?
Dr. Perry Cox : Because I wouldn't go to your wedding if it was held in my own backyard.
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Dr. Elliot Reid : I cannot believe that you wouldn't wanna come see me start my life with my soulmate.
Dr. Perry Cox : Soulmate? Try "last resort". Let's just be honest for two seconds here. You've basically lived in this dump for the last six years, and there weren't that many guys to choose from once you eliminate the women and the gays,
[Seven people disappear from the shot]
Dr. Perry Cox : the too old,
[Three men disappear]
Dr. Perry Cox : the too poor,
[Five more men disappear]
Dr. Perry Cox : the ones who just barely beat the rap for murdering their first wife,
[Dr. Mickhead disappears]
Dr. Perry Cox : and of course, Ted.
[Ted desperately jumps but disappears in midair. Keith is now standing in the room alone, waving at Elliot]
Dr. Perry Cox : Well then, what's left?
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Dr. Elliot Reid : And don't worry about coming to my wedding, because there probably won't be one.
Dr. Perry Cox : Look, I love it that after six years I can still mess with your head. It is both a testament to my commitment and a glaring statement about your mental fragility. But still, as much as it pains me to say it, there's nothing I did or said that had any real impact on your relationship with the future Mr Barbie.
Dr. Elliot Reid : Yeah, but I got all crazy and went off on him.
Dr. Perry Cox : Of course you did, you're a woman. Sure, you do come with a little extra crazy, but what the heck, that's what makes you, you.
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Dr. Perry Cox : So, let me ask you this there, Barb: Do ya really want to marry Keith, or do you just want to get married?
