- Liz Lemon: If reality TV has taught us anything, it's that you can't keep people with no shame down.
- Jack Donaghy: ...let me ask you a question, Kenneth. If Mr. Bright here told you to vote Republican, would you do it?
- Kenneth Parcell: Oh, uh, no, sir. I don't vote Republican or Democrat. Choosing is a sin, so I always just write in the Lord's name!
- Jack Donaghy: That's Republican. We count those.
- Jack Donaghy: Dennis.
- Dennis Duffy: Yeah, Jack?
- Jack Donaghy: What are your politics?
- Dennis Duffy: Social conservative, fiscal liberal.
- Jack Donaghy: Dot Com, this need you have to be the smartest guy in the room is... offputting.
- Dot Com: I guess that's why I'm still single.
- [walks off downtrodden]
- Dennis Duffy: You know, I thought I'd done something good enough to get you back. I can only imagine the classic song I'm gonna write after this.
- Dennis Duffy: I knew that girl was 18. She told me that her last boyfriend was Asian, and THAT crap doesn't start until college.
- Kenneth Parcell: I don't choose Democrat or Republican because choosing is a sin, so I just write in the Lord's name.
- Jack: That's Republican; we count those.
- Tracy Jordan: [reading from cue cards] "My fellow Blackmericans!" Hey, Jack. Can I just say black Americans? There's no such thing as Blackmericans.
- Jack Donaghy: That's great, that's why you're here.
- Tracy Jordan: "My fellow black Americans, Dr. King once had a dream, a dream that we all share: to build a 200-foot-high wall to keep Mexico out. And he also hated the estate tax."
- Michael Bloomberg: For his exceptional courage, the City of New York bestows the Bronze Medallion on Dennis Duffy.
- Dennis Duffy: Thank you Mayor Bloomberger. I accept this honor on behalf of every...
- [shouts]
- Dennis Duffy: Stern Rules! Baba Booey!
- Frank Rossitano: Wow. I never would have had the guts to do what that dude did.
- Liz Lemon: You don't know that.
- Frank Rossitano: I do know. I've watched seven different people die in subway stations.
- Bucky Bright: Back then we didn't have pages, you know. We had what we called "sandwich girls."
- Kenneth Parcell: Oh, because they got you sandwiches?
- Bucky Bright: No, no, no, two guys'd get... Hey, my old dressing room!
- Dennis Duffy: Hey, dummy.
- Liz Lemon: Dennis.
- Dennis Duffy: i knew you'd be back.
- Liz Lemon: Yeah, I'm not back. Jack sent me because he wants you on "TGS."
- Dennis Duffy: No way, this is fate. You swear to me that you would never see me again, but this whole crazy, on-again, off-again, Dennis-Liz thing, it just can't be stopped.
- Liz Lemon: No, we don't have a crazy thing.
- Dennis Duffy: Yeah, we do. We're like Ross and Rachel, but just not gay.
- Jack: Save it Liz, I booked the 911 Bird. Winston here saved his owner by dialing 911 and yelling fire... only because he didn't know the word for rape.
- Bucky Bright: [Kenneth leads retired 1950s TV writer Bucky Bright to the writers' room] We used to call this the "Jew room."
- Tracy Jordan: Now if you'll excuse me, Nixon asked me to take some stuff out of his Wikipedia page.
- [holds up a screwdriver]
- Jack Donaghy: And, let none of us forget that the GOP is the party of Lincoln.
- Tracy Jordan: Lincoln was a Republican?
- Dot Com: Actually, today's Republican Party would be unrecognizable to Lincoln. He fought a war to preserve federal authority over the states. That's not exactly small government.
- Jack Donaghy: Dot Com, this need you have to be the smartest guy in the room is... off-putting.
- Dot Com: I guess that's why I'm still single.