- Lois Griffin: Peter I wish you'd get rid of this thing; it is an absolute eyesore.
- Peter Griffin: What do you care Lois? You girls got the Clam, we've got the Quahog Men's Club. Besides, we're not hurting anybody.
- Lois Griffin: What are you talking about? You ripped a whole chunk of wall out of the house!
- [Shot changes to outside of the second floor of the house, where there's a giant hole in Stewie's room]
- Stewie Griffin: What is this? There's something wrong with the house! I don't like change!
- Peter Griffin: What did you do with your wheelchair?
- Joe: I gave it away.
- Chris Griffin: [cut to Chris speeding downhill in Joe's wheelchair, crashing through Mayor West's gate and landing in a flower bed] Whee!
- Adam West: My tulips! You dick.
- Peter Griffin: Boys there's only one answer. We got to re-cripple Joe. It's the right thing to do. Like taking out Hitler.
- Cleveland: [after falling into Spider-Man's net] Hey thanks Spider-Man.
- Spider-Man: Everybody gets one, isn't that right Peter?
- Peter Griffin: Yep Cleveland, apparently everybody gets one.
- Quagmire: My God, Joe is running us ragged!
- Peter Griffin: Yeah, I haven't been this exhausted since I had that job as Jackée Harry's personal grocery shopper.
- [Cutaway to a grocery store with Peter and Jackée Harry. Peter is holding a clipboard with shopping items listed on it, which he is reading from]
- Peter Griffin: A palette? Am-am I readin' this right? Y-You need a palette of chocolate-covered pretzels? Wh-wh-where the hell am i supposed to - a-an-an-and wh-what is this, a drum of grape jam? Is that - wh-what is that - is that like a drum like, they ship oil in? Is that - a-a-an-and wh-wh-wha - look at this one: A desk of Cheez-its. A desk - wh-where are you gettin' these units of measurements from?
- Jackée Harry: Mary.
- Peter Griffin: [laughs] That is still funny. Okay you stay right here, big funny gal, i'll be right back with...
- [reads from the clipboard]
- Peter Griffin: a hammock of cake.
- Lois Griffin: Peter, you can't just slap together flimsy structures in the yard!
- Peter Griffin: Why not? Herbert did it.
- [pan to Herbert sitting at a wooden booth reading "Quahog Boys' Club: Free Popsicles and Shoulder Rubs"]
- Herbert: [singing] It's fun to stay at the YMCA, it's fun to stay at the YMCA! Hmm...
- Dr, Elmer Hartman: You know Peter says we sound alike.
- Carter Pewterschidt: Really, I don't hear it.
- Dr, Elmer Hartman: Actually I do think I hear it now.
- Carter Pewterschidt: Really?
- Dr, Elmer Hartman: Yeah you know we've never really had any extended interaction so I've never noticed it.
- Carter Pewterschidt: Yeah I think I hear it too.
- Dr, Elmer Hartman: Seems lazy, doesn't it?
- Carter Pewterschidt: Well, there 's only so many voices in the world. Some of them are bound to be similar.