House M.D. (TV Series)
Top Secret (2007)
Hugh Laurie: Dr. Gregory House
Quotes
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Dr. Gregory House : [trying to talk over the patient, John, who's panicking over losing feeling in his legs] John! We're gonna figure out what's wrong with you, but first we need to know one thing!
[dramatic pause in action and background music]
Dr. Gregory House : Have you ever appeared in any pornos?
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Dr. Robert Chase : You can't fake bacterial vaginosis in your mouth.
Dr. Gregory House : Where's his mouth been?
Dr. Eric Foreman : He says he hasn't performed oral sex on anyone in over a year.
Dr. Gregory House : Selfish bastard!
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Dr. Gregory House : I can play the harmonica with my nose, make a penny come out of a child's ear, or any other orifice for that matter, and given the right circumstances can bring two women to simultaneous ecstasy.
Dr. James Wilson : The right circumstances being their agreement to bill you on the same credit card.
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Dr. Gregory House : I've got a full bladder, and I'm not afraid to use it.
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Dr. Gregory House : Your therapist is an idiot!
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Dr. Lisa Cuddy : You're supposed to be in clinic duty.
Dr. Gregory House : Like I can sleep down there with all the crying and coughing.
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Dr. Gregory House : [while urine is spilling onto the floor out of a bag attatched to House's leg] It's a urine catheter collection bag with a rip in it, what the hell does it look like?
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Dr. Gregory House : There is no medicine like happiness. Except maybe laughter. Or rubber tubes shoved up your urethra.
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Dr. Gregory House : Pills made all my dreams come true.
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Dr. Lisa Cuddy : Get over me.
Dr. Gregory House : Give me a break. You hired me...
Dr. Lisa Cuddy : 'Cause you're a good doctor who couldn't get himself hired at a blood bank, so I got you cheap.
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Dr. Allison Cameron : Were we walking you to the bathroom?
Dr. Gregory House : I wish.