Scrubs (TV Series)

My Fishbowl (2007)

Judy Reyes: Nurse Carla Espinosa

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dr. Perry Cox : [Carla tells bad joke]  You would hear crickets chirping, but they were too uncomfortable at just how unfunny that actually was.

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : So what, I'm not funny?

  Dr. Perry Cox : Why I think you're very funny... WHEN you're being sarcastic or you're up on your high horse. You know, as long as you stay right in you wheel house.

  [Dr. Cox begins walking through the room] 

  Dr. Perry Cox : Barbie is funniest when she's an anal retentive train wreck; your husband does it when he's sarcastic.

  Dr. Christopher Turk : Ya know, I do what I do when I do what I do.

  Dr. Perry Cox : The Janitor is amusing because quite frankly he's insane

  The Janitor : [walks by with tiny boots that look like they are for a baby on his hands]  I made shoes for my bunny.

  Dr. Perry Cox : [walks over the J.D]  And Alice here, well she can turn a phrase. and I'm assuming because I called you Alice you're thinking of me as the maid from the Brady Bunch.

  [Dr. Cox appears as Alice from the Brady Bunch then looks at J.D] 

  Dr. Perry Cox : Aren't ya?

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : He was.

  Dr. Perry Cox : Now some people just have funny names, for instance, Dr. Beardface, Dr. McHead, Colonel Doctor, and of course Snoop Dogg intern.

  Snoop Dogg Intern : [grabs his white coat]  Hey, Hey.

  Dr. Perry Cox : My bad, Snoop Dogg resident. The Todd is a sexual deviant, Laverne believes in God, which is hilarious to me, and Ted is the Hospital Sad sack.

  Ted Buckland : I am?

  Dr. Perry Cox : Yes Ted.

  Ted Buckland : Awwwwwwwwwwwwww.

  Dr. Perry Cox : And me I'm just funny because I commit C-O-M-M-I-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T...

  [makes the notion of sipping tea] 

  Dr. Perry Cox : -TEA. And I also do silly rants. But there is just one man who is funny, no matter what he says.

  Dr. Bob Kelso : [Kelso enters]  Are my undergarments made of wool because my WEASLES getting heat stroke?

  Dr. Perry Cox : The point is please don't tell anymore jokes.

  Ted Buckland : I'm not a sadsack am I?

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : Ted, your pen exploded!

  Ted Buckland : [looks at his shirt with a large blue stain on it]  Awwwwww

  [looks at is blue hand on his head] 

  Ted Buckland : AWWWWWWWWW!

• Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [narrating]  After Elliot told us that she had attempted suicide, I had to ask the question that was on everybody's mind.

  [out loud] 

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Was it because I broke up with you?

  Dr. Elliot Reid : No, J.D.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Oh, good, good, good, good.

  Dr. Elliot Reid : I'm not even sure why I did it. I guess things just catch up with you, you know... you get lonely, you're not happy with what's happening in your life and...

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : ...an amazing guy breaks up with you...

  Dr. Elliot Reid : J.D., this is not about you! I was 16!

  Private Brian Dancer : So, how'd you try it?

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : Brian!

  Dr. Christopher Turk : Please, you're dying to know...

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : No, I am not! When Elliot...

  Dr. Elliot Reid : Carla... it's fine. I was all into poetry back then, you know... Sylvia Plath and Virginia Woolf... I know, shocker. Well, they both killed themselves. Plath stuck her head in the oven, but that was not an option for me because every time my head gets hot I need to pee, and I was not about to be found lying in a puddle of my own urine. Not again... not after the prom fiasco...

  Dr. Perry Cox : If you're still not sure why you tried to off yourself, I'm starting to get a pretty clear picture over here...

  Dr. Elliot Reid : So, I decided to do it like Virginia Woolf: I walked into a lake and tried to drown myself. Got up early on a Saturday, put on my bikini...

  Private Brian Dancer : Whoa... why would you wear a bikini?

  Dr. Elliot Reid : Oh, my one-piece was in the back of Coach Pongetti's car. That story informs this one, but I'm not going to tell it... Anyhow, I swam out to the middle of the lake and I couldn't bring myself to go under, so I just started, you know, floating around, waiting to get tired and then... Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! I got hit in the head by four oars as our school's rowing team passed by and then they just picked me out of the lake and took me home.

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : [realizing Turk's gonna fart]  Oh no... Turk, I know that look... don't you dare toot while Elliot is baring her soul.

  Dr. Christopher Turk : But baby, the pressure's building. No one on Earth is this uncomfortable.