Psych (TV Series)

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not, He Loves Me, Oops He's Dead (2007)

Dulé Hill: Burton Guster

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Gus is attempting to gather information at the tanning salon] 

  Salon Attendant : May I help you?

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : Yes. I'm here for a tanning appointment.

  Salon Attendant : Um... for yourself?

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : Yes, for the Insta-Tan process. I would like that.

  Salon Attendant : But... you...

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : Yes?

  Salon Attendant : I don't understand.

  [beat] 

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : Okay, look... screw it, I can't do this. Have you ever seen either of these two guys here before?

• Burton 'Gus' Guster : Speed dating?

  Marvin : Yeah. Don't laugh, it's actually one of our most popular events. Guys come in here, they sign up, put down a hundred bucks, and they get fixed up with all sorts of people on little six-minute mini-dates.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : Did you say a hundred bucks?

  Marvin : Hundred bucks.

  Shawn Spencer : How about fifty bucks for three-minute dates?

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : Twenty-five bucks for a minute and a half?

  Shawn Spencer : I float you a ten-spot, you introduce us to somebody for fifteen seconds.

• Carlton Lassiter : Look, this is a copycat, okay? He saw Turk's picture in the paper, he's looking for attention.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : So he wakes up and sees Turk in the paper naked, humiliated, the butt of jokes at the water cooler, and says, "Hmm, how can I make this work for myself?" What?

• Fred Turk : Who is that person over there? Because he's really making me uncomfortable.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : I'M making YOU uncomfortable right now? Dude, is there any reason why you're not wearing your clothes now?

• Shawn Spencer : Where are they?

  Henry Spencer : Who?

  Shawn Spencer : The "Queer Eye" guys. I know they're here somewhere. Gus, what are their names?

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : How am I supposed to know, Shawn?

  Henry Spencer : Carson and Jai... and the guy with the glasses.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : Oh, yeah, who cooks the fish.

  Henry Spencer : Right.

• Burton 'Gus' Guster : He says it's the single guys trying to keep up on their tans.

  Shawn Spencer : Single guys?

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : Yeah.

  Shawn Spencer : Maybe that's it. Maybe some woman is targeting singles at the salon. Question is, what kind of loser thinks getting a tan is gonna help him score a woman?

  [Henry walks out in a robe] 

  Shawn Spencer : Dad?

• Burton 'Gus' Guster : You're gonna pay, Shawn! You are going to pay, believe me.

  Shawn Spencer : No offense, but it's tough to feel threatened by you when you're wearing that shirt. Is that a hibiscus?

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : It's not my shirt. It's your dad's. He had to loan me one because mine was covered in snot tears!

• Lorraine : Love is in the air. I can smell it.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : I smell cabbage.

• Shawn Spencer : We're going to roll up our sleeves, we're going to get a little bit dirty, and we're going to do some old-fashioned police work. Come on, it's like "In the Heat of the Night", which makes me Caroll O'Connor.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : No, that means you're Rob Steiger. That way, I'm Sidney Poitier.

  Shawn Spencer : You know that's right.

  [Shawn and Gus enter the interrogation room... and see their completely nude witness] 

  Shawn Spencer : [turning away]  Oh, boy. Wow. Looks like someone beat us to the rolling of the sleeves.