Psych (TV Series)

From the Earth to Starbucks (2007)

Dulé Hill: Burton Guster

Quotes 

• Burton 'Gus' Guster : You heard about Pluto? That's messed up, right?

• Burton 'Gus' Guster : You have one job. I have two jobs, Shawn. I have presentations to memorize on three new drugs, and while you were out drinking last night and taking on free cases, I was up half the night dreaming about whether the gel caps are more effective than the tablets.

  Shawn Spencer : First of all, tablets, always tablets. That's a given. Secondly, I've been having this recurring dream where I'm flying over Auckland on the back of a swan made primarily of cocoa. His name is Clem.

  [beat] 

  Shawn Spencer : But your dream was pretty interesting, too.

• [Jessica looks at her watch, then at the planetarium] 

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : Is something wrong?

  Jessica : They've been in there forty-five minutes.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : So?

  Jessica : It's a four minute show.

  [Shawn leaves the planetarium, the audience staggering out behind him] 

  Shawn Spencer : And that, ladies and gentlemen, is precisely why time travel is not only possible but may have already happened.

• Shawn Spencer : Look, there's this creepy janitor that lurks about. I want you to distract him while I grill Planetarium Girl.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : You are not grilling Jessica. She's just interning here until she gets her college units.

  Shawn Spencer : Jessica?

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : Yeah.

  Shawn Spencer : How do you know her name is Je... Oh, Gus!

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : What?

  Shawn Spencer : You haven't been coming here on Thursdays to study the stars. You've been coming here for her!

• Shawn Spencer : Not now. 5 o'clock.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : Why 5?

  Shawn Spencer : Gus, I have a job here. I can't just leave willy-nilly

• Burton 'Gus' Guster : Get ready to get lost in my dust!

  Shawn Spencer : Okay, dust? What, are you off-roading?

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : I'm going to be un-catchable, like a jackal!

  Shawn Spencer : Like a jackal? How about I just tail you to the observatory.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : Consider me stealth, Shawn!

  [moves his head back and forth] 

  Shawn Spencer : Dude, that's weird. It's like you're a bobblehead.

• Burton 'Gus' Guster : What are you doing, Shawn?

  Shawn Spencer : What are WE doing? Dude, we're undercover.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : We are not undercover!

  Shawn Spencer : Sure, we are. I'm the employee and you are the customer.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : I *am* the customer.

  Shawn Spencer : See, you're already in character, like Don Cheadle.

• Burton 'Gus' Guster : [Shawn is trying to open a door]  You're gonna break that.

  Shawn Spencer : [pulls as hard as he can, frustrated]  I don't think so!

• Shawn Spencer : [about Jessica]  You love her.

  Shawn Spencer : Shut up, Shawn.

  Shawn Spencer : You're *in* love with her.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : Shut up, Shawn!

  Shawn Spencer : I'm gonna go fix you guys up.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : No, Shawn!

  Shawn Spencer : She is my co-worker, and I have the inside track.

• Shawn Spencer : Dude, you know what this means?

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : It's murder.

  Shawn Spencer : No, it's motive.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : Same thing. Motive, murder, it's the same thing.

  Shawn Spencer : Motive is the *reason* for doing murder.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : It's in the same family, Shawn!

• Burton 'Gus' Guster : [Shawn is dressed as an employee of the Planeterium]  What are you doing, Shawn?

  Shawn Spencer : What are *we* doing. Dude, we're undercover.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : We are not undercover.

  Shawn Spencer : Sure we are. I'm the employee, you're the costumer.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : I *am* the costumer.

  Shawn Spencer : See? You're already in character, like Don Cheadle.