- [a murder victim is found dressed in a cigarette costume]
- Detective Stella Bonasera: Okay, let's just say it now to get it over with: smoking kills.
- Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: Yeah, but who killed him?
- [a murder victim is found laying in a pile of money]
- Detective Danny Messer: I think we can rule out robbery.
- Melodee Constanza: He's dead?
- Detective Danny Messer: Yeah, he's dead.
- Melodee Constanza: You sure about that?
- Detective Danny Messer: Very sure.
- Melodee Constanza: You just made my whole day. No, my year.
- Detective Danny Messer: Oh, well I'm glad to help.
- Detective Don Flack: Well Noah was taking these people for a ride, but it wasn't on the Ark. His flock all tested negative for GSR, and they've asked me if they can get back on the good ship looney tunes before Sunday, because that's when the world's ending. I told them they could re-board when the Crime Scenes clear, but what I really want to do is throw them all in the shower and then a rubber room.
- Detective Mac Taylor: They're not crazy.
- Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: What have we got?
- Detective Stella Bonasera: A woman says she saw, what she claims was, a giant cigarette on fire, running for its life.
- [last lines]
- [Mac looks up the sky, and it notices it's very cloudy]
- Mac Taylor: [to the giraffe keeper] Excuse me.
- [the keeper turns around to Mac]
- Mac Taylor: [as raindrops start falling down] Today is sunday, right?
- Giraffe Keeper: Yeah, that's right.
- [Mac keeps looking up in curiosity as it starts to rain]