American Dad! (TV Series)

American Dream Factory (2007)

Seth MacFarlane: Stan Smith, Roger the Alien

Photos 

Quotes 

• Stan Smith : I might just make a holiday yet. Then I'll have kiss-my-ass money.

  Hayley Smith : This is outrageous.

  Stan Smith : Kiss my ass, Hayley!

• Roger the Alien : I'm Krispy Kreme McDonald's. My Krispy Kreme mama got raped by my McDonald's daddy.

• Klaus : [when Steve doesn't let Roger in his band]  Oooh, he shut you down. What are you gonna do, cry?

  Roger the Alien : No, I'm gonna walk out of here 'cause I have legs.

• Stan Smith : Did you know Greg and Terry have an illegal alien walking their dog?

  Francine Smith : Isn't it terrible? I'd be way too uncomfortable having some poor immigrant working for me like that.

  Stan Smith : Oh, are you done? I was hoping you'd talk more about yourself.

• Stan Smith : I'm so sick and tired of that job. I want to be my own boss. I want to make so much money that I can tell people they can kiss my firm white ass. That's the American dream.

• Stan Smith : Today made me realize. It's time for me to follow my true destiny.

  Francine Smith : Oh, no, not this again.

  Stan Smith : Yes, Francine. This again. My holiday cele-bear-tions! A different handmade bear for every holiday. Look at him. How cute is he? Go on. Tell him you don't love him.

  Francine Smith : He's cute, but I still have a problem with the name. Cele-bear-tion. It sounds like a cross between celibate and abortion.

  Stan Smith : I told you, Francine. I heard your note, I considered it and I don't agree.

• Stan Smith : You're over, Paddington. So take your little rain slicker and your little boots, and go die in an alley!

• Stan Smith : [while listening to Paco and his family sing]  My God, listen to them sing about America. They aren't parasites, they're people. Paco and his family feel lucky just to be in this country. All we do is take it for granted and they're willing to work in my basement for soda, soda that I watered down. It's not about having kiss-my-ass money. It's about being here in the greatest country in the world. That's the American dream, Francine.

  Francine Smith : Okay, but can I have just one to help me with the laundry? There's just so much laundry, Stan.