Larry the Cable Guy: Morning Constitutions (2007 TV Special)

Larry the Cable Guy: Self

Quotes 

• Larry The Cable Guy : Out in San Fransisco, this is what they've got, a gay Mafia. If you're in a gay Mafia and get whacked, is that good or bad?

  [gay tone] 

  Larry The Cable Guy : Say hello to my little friend!

• Larry The Cable Guy : I dated this retarded woman once but we broke up, we couldn't agree on anything. I'd say tomato, she'd say "bowling shoes!"

• Larry The Cable Guy : Did you know that when a baby poops its diaper, you're not supposed to hit him with a rolled up newspaper?

• Larry The Cable Guy : A friend of mine went fishing and caught a rainbow trout, but he threw it back cuz he said he didn't want a gay fish.

• Larry The Cable Guy : [about Fruit of the Loom]  What does fruit have to do with underwear? Except I guess when you pull your underwear down you go 'oh, I should've eaten more fruit.'

• Larry The Cable Guy : My mom went to that same doctor and got a butt lift. It's a little too lifted, I think, alright. Now every time she farts only dogs can hear it.

• Larry The Cable Guy : I had a buddy of mine call up the other day, all upset 'cause he slept with his third cousin. And I'm like, man, if it upsets you that much, quit countin' them.